Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Dirty Pool (1970)

Director: Ed Stevens

Starring: Uschi Digard, Neola Graef, Marland Proctor

More info: IMDb

Tagline: She always liked to take a midnight dip

Plot: A husband is being driven crazy by his insatiable wife. It seems that all the time she spends sunbathing has made her a nymphomaniac, and he is unable to keep her satisfied. A doctor sends over a pair of swingers to "counsel" the couple.

My rating: 5.5/10

#12 on the Uschi Digard Needs to Have My Babies Project

Have you ever seen one of the many 1960s/1970s sofcore porn films that doesn't have a lick of dialogue but the audio is instead voice over narration and music?  That's DIRTY POOL.  The difference here is there's a bizarre psychedelic rock score and USCHI FUCKING DIGARD!!!  And she's all through this thing.

I had such a difficult time looking at those for 53 minutes.  Just awful.  It's nothing but simulated sex between her and a guy, her and this other chick, her with the chick and that chick's dude and finally all four of them faking going to town.  The narration is often hilarious and the music is sometimes groovy and at others downright annoying.  If this sort of thing is your bag then knock yourself out.  You do a hell of a lot worse...like watching one of these without Uschi.  That would be horrible (I'm looking at you, SPREAD IT AROUND (1970))

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