Thursday, March 5, 2015

YAY! The tits (and kooch and ass and dick) can stay!!!

A couple of weeks ago Google announced that on 3/23 nudity is not allowed on Blogger (except for educational purposes et al).  This blog can't survive without the occasional nudity (gratuitous or otherwise) and my only choice was to move to my own domain and do a complete re-haul of what you see and what I do (it was (is going to be) all for the better).  I guess Google got slammed with lots of bitching and negative backlash and today they have reversed their decision and they've decided to leave things as they are.  That's great news but it's also a wake-up call to still plan on eventually moving everything to my own domain and do things the way I want without fear of someone else deciding they don't like the boobs and shut me down.

So what's been going on?  I've been busy as shit working on this and that to the point that I'm beat as hell.  My movie watching has slowed down a little but that small stack of flicks to review has turned into three HUGE stacks.  I'm way behind.  Anyway, I hope to have something up soon but I was so relieved about not having to deal with the daunting task of starting a new site and transferring almost 3,000 reviews (with pictures and video) that I just had to speak out.  For those of you near the back who were yelling for me to bring back the greatest side-boob in the history of side-boobs, here you go...

Thursday, February 12, 2015

DOA: Dead or Alive (2006)

Director: Corey Yuen

Writers: J.F. Lawton, Adam Gross, Seth Gross

Composer: Junkie XL

Starring: Jaime Pressly, Devon Aoki, Holly Valance, Sarah Carter, Natassia Malthe, Kane Kosugi, Matthew Marsden, Eric Roberts, Steve Howey, Brian White, Kevin Nash, Collin Chou, Derek Boyer, Silvio Simac, Fang Liu, Ying Wang

More info:  IMDb

Tagline: They have the looks... That KILL

Plot: Four gorgeous women are invited to a remote island to participate in a fighting tournament.

My rating: 6.5/10

Will I watch it again? No.

In the opening minutes of the picture my mouth was agape at how ridiculous it was and how awful the acting and dialogue were.  A few minutes later we're introduced to Tina (Pressly) and it gets even more ridiculous.  That's when I realized that everyone involved with the picture was totally in on the joke and they were having fun with it.  From that point on it was a lot easier to take.  If you can't laugh at it then you should turn it off after ten minutes.  It's over the top, sometimes dumb as shit but it's also kind of fun.  The girl that plays the princess didn't put in a good performance.  It's bad from the start.  Jaime Pressly is great (she's funny as shit on MY NAME IS EARL and any fan of her in that show needs to check this out) and Kevin Nash made for a great team as daughter and father.  Being a big dumb fun movie like this means there's some funny injected and a lot of the jokes work.  The story and the action play out just like you think it would considering this is based on a video game and it works on that level.  It's a lot more enjoyable than you think it'd be and it's better than more than a few big budget action movies I've seen lately.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

This Filthy World (2006)

Director: Jeff Garlin

Writer: John Waters

Composers: Jared Gutstadt, Lukas Kaiser

Starring: John Waters

More info: IMDb

Plot:  Philosopher of filth and reigning king of bad taste, John Waters presents an outstanding live one-man show that celebrates his origins of trash.

My rating: 6.5/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

I'm a HUGE fan of Waters.  I enjoy his pictures and I love hearing his stories about making movies and anything else he wants to talk about.  That said, I was disappointed with this, his one man show that he took on the road and performed to sold out audiences.  He's had a wild career and he's a really interesting cat.  In the show, he speeds through his career so fast that he had to have burned more calories than a brisk one hour walk. He's like lightning and it sounds like he's on a schedule and has to split, the way he goes from one story to the next.  It's either his segues are very awkward or there are none and he just rambles right to the next.  It was really odd. I still dig the guy's stories and I'm keen to listen to him any time.  I should check his DVDs on my shelf and see if they have any commentaries. I'm sure they do and I'm willing to be that he's a lot more relaxed and probably more focused instead of sounding like he's rushing through dialogue to get to the end of the night.  I'm going to a con very soon where he'll be in attendance.  He's going to perform this concert and I'm less inclined to go but then a lot may have changed in the past 9 years and maybe he's gotten a lot more comfortable with his role on the stage.  We'll see.

Ghostbusters II (1989)

Director: Ivan Reitman

Writers: Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis

Composer: Randy Edelman

Starring: Bill Murray, dan Aykroyd, Sigourney Weaver, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis, Ernie Hudson, Annie Potts, Peter MacNicol, Harris Yulin, David Margulies, Kurt Fuller, Janet Margolin, Cheech Marin, Brian Doyle-Murray, Philip Baker Hall, Max von Sydow, Wilhelm von Homburg

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Be ready to believe us.

Plot: The discovery of a massive river of ectoplasm and a resurgence of spectral activity allows the staff of Ghostbusters to revive the business.

My rating: 5.5/10

Will I watch it again? No.

Here's an example of a movie being made not because the original film's team felt that it had to be made but because a lot of the cast and crew wanted another summer home.  I saw this in '89 in the theater and I really didn't like it.  I held off giving it another shot until now and I feel the same way.  The story is ridiculous and there are way too many callbacks to the original film as if a sequel has to constantly reference where it came from.  I liked that all four of the guys had been faced with countless lawsuits in between films and they all ended up doing other things.  That's about all I liked.  Bill Murray tries but the material only gives him and the others so little to work with.  It's the story and script that's the weakest link.  If the story were stronger I think this could have been a much better film.  Composer Elmer Bernstein was absent for this picture and it shows.  He's sorely missed.  I like Edelman a lot but not hearing Bernstein's sound just made this flick even sadder.  I don't want to beat a dead horse any longer.  This is just one big missed opportunity that shouldn't have happened.  At least we'll always have GHOSTBUSTERS (1984), the best horror/comedy this side of the Pecos.  As for the new Paul Fieg film?  I have reservations about it but not because it's going to be a reboot with female busters (I think it's a great idea, actually, and a refreshing one) but because the original '84 film is about is perfect as you can get.  Here's hoping they don't try and do what this sequel tried to do in referencing it to death.   The Columbia DVD for G2 is shit for extras.  All you get are two episodes from the TV cartoon show.  Really?  The FUCK, Columbia!

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Blown Away (1994)

Director: Stephen Hopkins

Writers: John Rice, Joe Batteer, Jay Roach

Composer: Alan Silvestri

Starring: Jeff Bridges, Tommy Lee Jones, Suzy Amis, Lloyd Bridges, Forest Whitaker, stephi Lineburg, John Finn, Caitlin Clarke, Chrisopher de Oni, Loyd Catlett, Ruben Santiago-Hudson

More info: IMDb

Tagline: The fuse has been lit...

Plot: An Irish bomber escapes from prison and targets a member of the Boston bomb squad.

My rating: 5.5/10

Will I watch it again? No.

Oh for crying out loud.  Why would Gaerity (Jones) go to such lengths with building such elaborate, Rube Goldberg-esque bombs just to kill someone?  By the end of the film the bombs got so outlandish that I actually laughed which is more of a response the rest of the film got from me.  There's so much to this picture that's over the top and, dare I say, blown way out of proportion like the aforementioned over the top bombs, the sometimes over the top action, music, direction et al.  The drama is amped up so much that it's like pouring gasoline on a fire.  The ONE thing that I really enjoyed was being toyed with when the mom and daughter are making dinner in the kitchen.  That scene was nicely handled but then you get moments with Max (Bridges) and the bomb and Anthony's (Whitaker) entrance that had me question if these things were lifted from a cartoon.  I'm not exaggerating here.  Ugh. 

A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints (2006)

Director: Dito Montiel

Writer: Dito Montiel

Composer: Jonathan Elias

Starring: Dianne Wiest, Robert Downey Jr., Shia LaBeouf, Melonie Diaz, Laila Liliana Garro, Eleonore Hendricks, Adam Scarimbolo, Peter Anthony Tambakis, Channing Tatum, Chazz Palminteri, George DiCenzo, Rosario Dawson, Eric Roberts

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Queens, New York, 1986. Sometimes the only way forward, is back.

Plot: The movie is a coming-of-age drama about a boy growing up in Astoria, N.Y., during the 1980s. As his friends end up dead, on drugs or in prison, he comes to believe he has been saved from their fate by various so-called saints.

My rating: 6.5/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

I hadn't seen so much as a trailer for this and I had no idea what to expect.  It's pretty bleak and at times I was unsure of what it was trying to say because the film touches on lots of experiences these kids had and then flashes forward to show what became of them, focusing on Dito (RDJ & LaBeouf), the cat that wrote and directed this based on his life growing up in NYC.  Damn, that's a long ass sentence.  It also feels like a pastiche of different movies like GOODFELLAS (1990) and BOOGIE NIGHTS (1997).  The performances are strong and it's well shot but I never connected with any of the characters enough to even passivly care about them.  This might be just a me thing.  Not that it matters but I didn't grow up in a big city nor in an environment like that or situations similar.  It's not necessary that I share anything with a character to like him/her but I couldn't help but wonder if it would've helped in this case.  The First Look DVD has a nice anamorphic widescreen print with a few extras including a commentary track with the director and editor, a 20 minute making of featurette, an alternate opening and ending, 11 deleted scenes with optional commentary from the director, the rooftop scene as acted by the director and Helen Davis from a workshop at the 2006 Sundance Film Festival (with optional director's commentary), three trailers for the film, a two minute interview with the director's father, Monty, Diana Carcamo's audition tape for the role of Young Laurie and trailers for 4 other films.

Monday, February 9, 2015

Tarzan's Magic Fountain (1949)

Director: Le Sholem

Writers: Curt Siodmak, Harry Chandlee

Composer: Alexander Laszio

Starring: Lex Barker, Brenda Joyce, Albert Dekker, Evelyn Ankers, Charles Drake, Alan Napier, Ted Hecht, Henry Brandon

More info: IMDb

Tagline: New Daring! New Dangers!

Plot: An aviatrix emerges from the jungle looking as young as she was when her plane went down many years before. Unscrupulous hunters discover that this is due to a secret fountain of youth. Tarzan tries to keep the hunters from finding the hidden valley setting of the fountain. The flyer ages as the effects of the fountain wear off.

My rating: 6.5/10

Will I watch it again? Maybe. 

A while back I picked up the Warner Bros. Archive Collection box set of the Lex Barker Tarzan pictures (and another set with someone else as Tarzan whose name escapes me) and I finally got around to it (that's the trouble with having so many movies at your fingertips).  Now I realize these aren't made to be taken all that seriously and they're largely geared toward kids but for cryin' out loud, does there have to be so much Cheetah hijinks?  Other than that it's a pretty good and polished jungle adventure.  Baxter makes a good Tarzan but it's before the movie Tarzan became more sophisticated.  At this point he's still the "Me, Tarzan.  You, Jane." stage and he's not ready for afternoon tea parties, unless of course bonehead chimps are the guests of honor.  I don't mean to rail too hard on the little buggers.  They are cute as hell but there's about two too many gags with Cheetah and pals covering their eyes to avoid seeing Jane naked or fiddling around with electronics they don't understand.  TMF isn't a bad way to kill 73 minutes and even though it's not one of my favorite Tarzan pictures, it's not bad enough that I can't see watching this one again sometime.  A couple of neat asides, Alan "Batman '66's Alfred" Napier has a small role and the very first filmed Tarzan, Elmo Lincoln, can be spotted as a fisherman.  Now that's a neat cameo.  I'll have to watch for him next time...and get around to watching TARZAN OF THE APES (1918) someday.