Jonah Hex (2010)

Director: Jimmy Hayward

Starring: Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Megan Fox, Michael Fassbender, Will Arnett, John Gallagher Jr., Tom Wopat

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Revenge Gets Ugly

Plot: The U.S. military makes a scarred bounty hunter with warrants on his own head an offer he cannot refuse: in exchange for his freedom, he must stop a terrorist who is ready to unleash Hell on Earth.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again? Yeah.


Why all the hate for this flick? I don't get it. I actually enjoyed it. Sure, it's largely due to Josh Brolin's badass performance. I'm glad to see he's in the new Cohen bros. flick TRUE GRIT (2010) 'cause he belongs in the Western genre. I sincerely hope he does a lot more of 'em. Malkovich isn't doing anything but being Malkovich (ahahahaha) which is just fine because, well, he's reallly good at it and he's fun. I love how he killed 300+ people in a town as they're coming out of church. That kind of behavior is something I dig in movies along the lines of killing children 'cause you just don't see it that much and it takes some guts to put something that edgy in a movie these days.


It's obvious that this character has comic book origins and I really dug the animation showing Hex's origin, the stylized look and lighting of the film. Brolin's face makeup effects are great and he really knows how to sell it. The pacing is really quick to the point that by the time you get to the end an hour and thirteen minutes later (before the credits roll) you need to take a break because it barely lets up. Not having enough time to breathe is not JONAH HEX's biggest problem, though.


Nope. The biggest issue is Megan Fox. See, Brolin's got A LOT of great one liners and he's a good actor so his delivery makes them work. Fox is not a good actor so her line delivery is atrocious. She's terrible and needs to stop. This is the first thing I've ever seen her in and I'll quit while I'm ahead. I don't care how good her tits look in a bustier, that's not enough reason to hurt your movie and try to sell more tickets. There are plenty of attractive gals out there that can act that deserve a paycheck more than this talentless tramp.

Stop. Just...stop!

I thought Marco Beltrami & Mastodon's rock score worked much better than I would have expected. JONAH HEX isn't a bad movie. Megan Fox is horrible and needs to stop and it could use a couple of nice, slower moments to even it out but other than that, it's fun and not the abomination everyone loves to hate. And that's probably the biggest shame because all of that hate kept a lot of people away from the theaters, including yours truly, which means there won't be any more Jonah Hex adventures...and that makes me sad.