Sunday, September 5, 2010

Sisters in Leather (1969)

Director: Zoltan G. Spencer

Starring: Pat Barrington (no other credits listed on IMDB or the film)

More info: IMDB

Tagline: No man (or woman) was safe from these love hungry hell-cats!

Plot: A husband is blackmailed by 3 lesbian bikers after they spot him having sex with another woman in a convertible. They then take the man's wife out for a picnic and some nude motorcycle riding. The husband finds some male bikers and together they try to save his wife from becoming a lesbian biker.

My rating: 5/10

Will I watch it again? Nope.

This is going to be fun. You see the title? That's all I needed to know to get my hands on it. That it's from 1969, in B&W and about a lesbian biker gang was icing on this cake, baby!

Let's just jump right in. Joe is married, see, but he meets Dolly, a pretty young thing that wants to swing. That's where our picture starts. Joe takes her to a secluded spot for hot sex!

"Don't I appeal to you?"

"Yom yom yom yom yom yom"

Just as things are getting heated, a tough biker broad shows up with a knife and tells Joe that she just took a picture of him with this underage girl and she demands $2,000 for the pic or she'll make sure the wife gets it. With a knife at his throat, he's too afraid to look his blackmailer in the face.

Everybody goes their way and rolllllllll the expensive credits...

Joe is late getting home from work, naturally, but his sexpot wife says she doesn't mind. Why? Because she's ready for some lovin'. For some reason, Joe's not in the mood.

"One thing about Mary, she wasn't easily discouraged."

Joe tells Mary to stop because he's all worried about some business at the office and she gets pissed, but we know what he's really worried about...Time for a smoke.

The next morning at work, Joe's got the 2 large ready to buy that incriminating evidence that will destroy his marriage.

Dolly says, "Not here", and has him take her back to the spot where they made sweet love.

Dolly wants to fuck again and convinces a reluctant Joe that it's OK because he can't be in any more trouble than he already was. No one to pass up bangin' a teenage broad, Joe's back at it.

Uh, oh. The biker broad's back and she's pissed! She knocks Joe out with a liquor bottle.

"You little bitch!"

" Butch, he made me do it!"

Ah ha! So her name is Butch. Hmmm. Could that imply anything?

"You lying little bitch! I'll teach you to fool around with men, now get on that bike!"

Butch takes Joe's money and keeps the photo. Joe gets a headache.

Oh, no! Butch calls Mary annonymously and sets up a meeting to tell Mary what Joe's been up to, a picnic as it were...

Meanwhile, Joe's out looking for a biker bar in the hopes of finding the bitches that set him up. Here's a joint...

And there's go-go dancing going on! Nice! Gee, who would've thought... Ahahahahaha.

Joe's checking the joint out to see if the biker chicks are there...for several minutes he's checking it out...yeah, right...

He couldn't recognize anyone so he goes outside to check the motorcycles. He notices the lightning bolt symbol from the girl's glove on the bikes, when a biker sees him lurking around. Joe tells, Mike, the leader about his ordeal and who he's looking for. Mike assures him it's not one of his gang but they'll 'cream' any gang that's using their symbol.

The girl gang picks up Mary and they're off for a picnic!

Dolly suggests to Billie that they take a few pictures...

Meanwhile, Butch tells Mary to soak up some sunshine which means taking their tops off. Giggidy!

Done with the photo shoot, Billie & Dolly were born to be wild!

Back at the picinic basket...

Hey, enough riding bikes...let's make out!

Sunbathing massage time is over. Awwwwww. Mary asks for the photograph.

Let's see what Joe's up to...

He's back home and discovers that Mary has left him!', Joe!

Upon some incredible detective work, Joe sees a slight indentation of where an address was written on the previous page...

Holy shit! It's the lesbian biker gang's house!

Let's observe them in their natural habit...

"Anybody wanna play 'fuzz'?"

Ooh, ooh, ooh, I do! Pick me! Pick me!

Later that night, after the 3-way champagne orgy of love...

Mary shows up and things get a little more interesting...

But Joe's gone back to the bar to find the dude bikers...

"I know where they are!"

It's ON now!

"No! I'm really not that way. Please don't!"

What...the...fuck? Earlier that day you had your tits massaged by the same broad and that was totally cool but now you don't swing that way? Who the hell is writing this crap? The movie has just jumped the shark. I can no longer believe what happens.

"Your husband didn't mind it when I was touching him today."

Oh shit. The jig is up!

SHIT! They're going to turn her into a lesbian now. Isn't there anyone out there that can save this poor child?

"Yom yom yom yom yom yom"

My god! I think we've lost her!

To the rescue...

"Mary, are you OK, Honey?"

She was until you showed up, Dickweed!

"Well, boys, what are we going to do with these hell-cats?"

I know...RAPE!

"Take it easy, fella, I swing both ways."

"Well, I guess that just leaves the two of us."

"No man has ever touched me and no man ever will!"


Everybody Wang Chung tonight!

The next day...Joe's voiceover tells us that his marriage is stronger than ever and he'll never forget how close he came to losing her to the frightening world of the abnormal.

"I did run across the characters in my story once again, quite by accident.

Strangely, I didn't feel any anger toward them.

When I saw the leaders of the two gangs together on the same bike, I was even rather pleased.

In fact, I even felt a ray of hope for the future of mankind."

What an amazing story! And with such a happy ending, too! Joe fucks an underage girl, gets his wife back and Mike and his boys straightened out the lesbians. Everybody wins! Yeah!

Yeah, it sounds like a great way to kill 58 minutes but when the sex scenes are padded with looped moans and groans and the actors are just writhing and wiggling for minutes at a time, it gets boring and fast. Still, I'm glad I saw it. It does have a certain charm and silliness to it that can be appealing. And, as you can see, there are some gorgeous bodies on display. But I've saved you the trouble of tracking this down. You've basically seen the picture at this point.'s a great title and story, huh?

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