Friday, September 10, 2010

Hells Angels on Wheels (1967)

Director: Richard Rush

Starring: Adam Roarke, Jack Nicholson, Sabrina Scharf, Jack Starrett

More info: IMDB

Tagline: The violence, the hate, the way-out parties...exactly as it happens!

Plot: At first gas station attendant Poet is happy when the rockers gang "Hell's Angels" finally accepts him. But he's shocked when he learns how brutal they are - not even murder is a taboo to them. He gets himself in trouble when the leader's girlfriend falls in love with him - and he welcomes her approaches.

My rating: 3/10

Will I watch it again? Zzzzzzzzz.

#34 on Dusk to Dawn Drive-In Trash-o-Rama Show Vol. 1 (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)

#5 on 42nd Street Forever Vol. 2: The Deuce (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)

EDIT: After describing this to Jody, he came up with the best and most appropriate tagline for it - BORN TO BE MILD!

Goddamn! This was a snoozefest. It'd be two more years before EASY RIDER gave Nicholson his breakout performance that would take him away from these B pictures. This one's just dreadful. Roarke was by far the best actor in DIRTY MARY CRAZY LARRY (1974) and he does the same here.

There are really long stretches of boredom as they drive...and drive...and drive...and get into trouble. That party the trailer refers to, the orgy? High schoolers have wilder parties that this. Ooooooh someone's smokin' some doobies. Ooooooh.

OK, there's two things that are really cool in this flick (besides seeing Nicholson making a last-ditch effort in his acting career) and that's body painting...

and go-go dancing!

The ending is about the dumbest one I've ever seen. At no point does Nicholson and Roarke have any beef with each other. No lie, less than five minutes from the end Roarke suddenly doesn't like Nicholson macking on his girl (it was never a problem before) so now they're yelling each other and there's a fight. Roarke hops on his bike to run Nicholson over, barley hits him, his bike literally slows down and falls over and explodes. End of fucking story! WTF?

The score by Stu Phillips is about as gay as can be for a "macho" biker flick. It's so lame. And to think the real HA's lent their name to this for some bit parts. Woof. And if that tagline had any truth to it, being a biker in '67 must've been one of gayest things you could have been outside of being a male Ethyl Merman impersonator. There's just no way ANY gang would have been as ... aw fuck it. This movie stinks.

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