Piranha 3D (2010)

Director: Alexandre Aja

Starring: Elisabeth Shue, Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd, Jerry O'Connell, Steven R McQUeen

More info: IMDB

Tagline: This Summer 3D Shows Its Teeth

Plot: After a sudden underwater tremor sets free scores of the prehistoric man-eating fish, an unlikely group of strangers must band together to stop themselves from becoming fish food for the area's new razor-toothed residents.

My rating: 6.5/10

Will I watch it again? Yeah, it'll be good with a group

So last night I re-watched the original 1978 PIRANHA and it wasn't as good as I remembered.
It lost a little something since seeing it less than three years ago. However, the remake is better than I had expected. When I saw a piece of an interview with the director where he said that his 3D movie is going to deliver the goods with lots of gore and lots of nudity, I knew that if he did that and made a somewhat entertaining movie around it, I'd be happy. I'm happy.

The gore is fantastic. There's TONS of it. Lots of kills from beginning to end. And the nudity? Well...let me give you an example. Imagine green tinted water. Add two large breasted, fully nude young women (one natural (Kelly Brook) and the other with implants (not Kelly Brook)), slow motion photography and a soothing, beautiful operatic aria for ambiance. Now have the women, for probably two minutes or so, frolic (in slow motion, mind you), fondle and kiss. It's to THAT degree that you know the film makers are unashamed and are going to hold nothing back.




If you've seen the trailer then you will recognize this image...


Sorry, but just like they did with PREDATORS, this scene is not in the film.

Best line in the whole movie? It's where one of the cast is attacked, pulled aboard a boat with his lower half in shreds and says in horror, "They took my penis." Great fun. The biggest surprise for me was Elisabeth Shue. I really dig this chick. She did a great job as the sheriff and seems like a good actress. Granted I've barely seen any of her films. It's hard to tell in movies like this sometimes but she shines here. I didn't recognize O'Connell as the "Girls Gone Wild"-esque film maker. He was great. Lloyd got a huge laugh out of me for yelling his lines much like he did in the BACK TO THE FUTURE flicks. He's essentially the same guy in this one whose only purpose is exposition.

And then there's Richard Dreyfuss resurrecting his character, Matt Hooper, from JAWS. That was fantastic. The 3D was better than anything I've seen so far with the exception of AVATAR. It's obvious that 3D does not allow for shaky cam or quick editing. In a way it's nice not having a constant barrage of images thrown at you. I long for the old days when the camera focused on something long enough for your eyes to soak everything in. Ahhhhhh...3D tits and blood...3D tits and blood...3D tits and blood...