Piranha (1978)

Director: Joe Dante

Starring: Bradford Dillman, Heather Menzies, Kevin McCarthy, Keenan Wynn, Dick Miller, Barbara Steele, Paul Bartel

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: Then... you were shocked by the great white shark - Now... you are at the mercy of 1000 jaws!

Plot: When flesh-eating piranhas are accidently released into a summer resort's river, the guests become their next meal.






My Rating: 7/10
UPDATE 8/22/10: After seeing it again, it's not holding up as well. The slow spots have knocked it down to a 6.5/10.

Would I watch it again? Hell, yeah!
UPDATE 8/22/10: A slightly less enthusiastic yeah.

#185 on Drive-In Delirium Volume 1 (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)


If you've seen JAWS (1975) then you've seen PIRANHA. Substitute a river with a summer camp and resort along the way for the shores of Martha's Vineyard and killer fish for a shark and you've got PIRANHA. It's so blatantly a rip-off of JAWS (the references are all over the place) yet it's still a lot of fun.

Cheesy performances permeate this film like liquor on Lindsay Lohan. The two leads (Dillman and Menzies) are bad. I mean bad. Legendary character actors Keenan Wynn and Dick Miller (two of my favorites) are awesome as always. The scene where Wynn is telling his dog a story is a riot and Dick Miller just cracks me up in everything that he does. His role in the original LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS (1960) is a real gas. Kevin "INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (1956)" McCarthy satisfies his requirement of the crazy old coot scientist who created these mutated beasts. It's the heroes of the story that piss me off.

They're terrible and completely unlikable YET THEY'RE THE FUCKING HEROES? Especially the girl since it's entirely her fault that the piranha are released into the river and kill dozens of people including a bunch of children YET SHE'S THE FUCKING HERO? WTF? Keenan Wynn snuffs it and this bitch gets to keep breathing? Where's the justice in that? I could appreciate it if the whole idea was to make these two fucktards the heroes to go against the Hollywood grain but I really don't think the filmmakers were that advanced in their thinking in this. I love Joe Dante and I really enjoyed this picture but I mostly stayed to the end because I really wanted this bitch and her alcoholic love gristle to be fed to the fishes. They wasted a great opportunity for a truly upbeat and satisfying ending.

I know what you're saying. "Hey, Jim, what about the piranha?" That's what we're all in this for, right? It's a mixed bag. For a visual you get a spot in the water that is highly agitated by violent bubbles to let us know the fish are there. It's stupid as hell and it's far from reality but it works. What also works and is equally stupid and hell because it's entirely unrealistic is the cool sounds the piranha make. Then there's the quick movements of the (I assume) rubber fish (cool).

and the "what were they thinking" shots like this...


which are nothing more than pictures of piranha on a sheet of plastic being dragged through the water, swimming in unison like synchronized swimming at the Olympics.
The trailer is great. The movie is stupid cheesy fun and I'll watch it again with an audience. That helps. Pour a few cold ones and knock 'em back. I can't wait to see the sequel directed by James "TERMINATOR" Cameron. So how DO you improve on the original film? Easy. You make them fly. Get ready for PIRANHA PART TWO: THE SPAWNING (1981). Sweet. I'm there already.