The Six Million Dollar Man (1973)

Director:

Starring: Lee Majors, Barbara Anderson, Martin Balsam & Darren McGavin

More Info: IMDB

Plot: After an astronaut/test pilot is catastrophically mutilated in a test plane crash, he is rebuilt and equipped with nuclear powered bionic limbs and implants.

My Rating: 6/10

Would I watch it again? I suppose but it's just not necessary.


I was 4 when this aired. I don't remember seeing it (if I did in fact ever saw it) but I did see the weekly TV series this spawned the very next year. This is the first of three TV movies that were made before the series hit. I was a HUGE fan of the series as just about every kid in the USA was at that time. I had a shit ton of SMDM toys...




The back pack was badass as it has wires with roach clips that you attached to metal (I hooked mine up to the backyard chain link fence) and you could listen to AM radio. That was the fucking shit back in '75! I had the board game, the action sets, the works. I was a hardcore SMDM kid.


That was 35 years ago. So you can image how excited I was to re-visit an important part of my childhood. While it was nice, despite not recalling if I had even seen this TV movie, it didn't/couldn't live up to my expectations. You see, this is the first appearance of Steve Austin, the origin story of how he became the world's first cyborg.

Ahhh, the 70s, back when men like us were encouraged to show off our hairy chests!

There are little bits of action but it's more of a drama than what came later with the action adventures with the series. Lee Majors is a major badass. He's tough and very charismatic. You can't help but like him. He's one of those guys where every woman wants him and every man wants to be him (and there are some who want him, too, I suppose). His character, Steve Austin, spends a lot of time dealing with the psychological aspects of what he's going through - a NASA astronaut who's in an accident piloting a test vehicle loses both legs, his right arm and left eye. The government wants to use him as a guinea pig to replace his missing bits with high tech machinery. They make him better, stronger, faster. Now he's a super badass.



That's all fine and good but it's not quite what the series was and that's where my memories lie (kind of like how it wasn't until the 3rd Bond film, GOLDFINGER, that they discovered the formula that would last throughout the Bond series). Also not present is the kickass theme tune with the badass narration. There's also none of the "nanananananana" when Steve's in slo-mo mode using his super strength and no Oscar Goldman. Instead of the Goldman character we have Oliver Spencer, played despicably well by Darren McGavin. He's the cold, matter of fact govt. man that puts the program in motion that rebuilds Steve. Balsam is great to see as the down to Earth, sympathetic friend of Steve's who does the operation.


Steve fights the transition to bionic badass as well as struggles with the aftermath but by the end of the movie, after being betrayed by Spencer who put him in mortal danger just to see if he would pass the "test", accepts his assignment as the government's bionic bitch. I filled in the blanks of his seemingly speedy acceptance by figuring he actually enjoyed the danger and the uniqueness of his super human bits. Based on the Martin Caidin novel, CYBORG, I'm sure there's a bunch of stuff that was lost between the source material and the film that would explain this better. My nostalgia has just kicked in and forced me to purchase the novel on ebay for ten bucks and bid on some SMDM toys.


So even without the familiar theme, sound effects and tons of action, I still enjoyed it. It's interesting starting from the beginning and working my way into the series. There's still two more TV movies to watch before the series began so maybe one of those has the elements I remember. Now that the origin story has been told, that's more likely to happen.