Horror Express (1972)

Director: Eugenio Martin

Starring: Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, Telly Savalas

More info: IMDB

Tagline: Can it be stopped?

Plot: An English anthropologist (Lee) has discovered a frozen monster in the frozen wastes of Manchuria which he believes may be the Missing Link. He brings the creature back to Europe aboard a trans-Siberian express, but during the trip the monster thaws out and starts to butcher the passengers one by one.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again? Yup.


It's pretty safe to assume that any movie with both Cushing & Lee is going to be worth watching. Twenty minutes into this one and I was beginning to wonder if this would be the exception. Ultimately, I was wrong...dead wrong.


You can't blame me too much, really, as there was some real batshit stuff going on here. The creature comes alive and hypnotizes people and takes their eyes or something fucked up like that. Once on the train, the creature reaches out the crate, finds and bends a nail and picks the lock with it!!! WTF? So you can see how easy it was for me to dismiss this bizarre bit of nonsense.

"I've heard of evolution. It's...immoral."

"It's a fact and there's no morality in a fact!"

Suck on that, creationists!


OK, so then a little while later Lee examines some blood from the creature or something and guess what they see? The last thing the creature saw - an image of one the victims! W...T...F??? See what I mean?

More juicy dialogue...

FATHER PUJARDOV: Are you going to kill me?

INSPECTOR MIROV: There's nothing in your head of any use.

Oh, snap!

So we're an hour into it and who should show up and make this a party? Uncle Telly! This guy is so over the top and wacky it's laughable. But I really like Savalas. He's got charisma in spades. I would have loved to hang out with the guy, drinking, hearing his tales of badassery. He seems like he'd be a larger than life guy in real life. Anyway, he's having a ball as a Cossack who's hopped on board to solve these brutal murders.


Remember all that crazy shit with the creature picking the lock and doing shit that a missing link shouldn't outta be doing? Yeah, well it's because when he eats your eyeballs or something he absorbs everything you've ever seen or whatever. That explains why he was able to pick the lock after killing the thief. So only NOW does it make any fucking sense to me. I spent most of the movie thinking I was either losing it or this movie was completely FUBAR. It is fucked up, alright, but it's deliciously fucked up.