Friday, November 25, 2011

Dynamite Johnson (1978)

Director: Bobby A. Suarez

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Mightier and stranger than KING KONG...Faster than the SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN...Deadlier than the BIONIC WOMAN...More powerful than the SUPER-SONIC JET FIGHTER and ATOMIC BATTLESHIP combined!!!

Plot: The real name of the title character is Johnson Yap, previously the star of the Philippine actioner The Bionic Boy. Young Mr. Yap is, not surprisingly, part machine; fortunately his bionic mechanisms are in his legs, enabling him to outrun the battalions of villains he confronts throughout the film. The main heavy is a disenfranchised Nazi who plans to--all together now--RULE THE WORLD. To do this, he creates a device that paralyzes one's mind. A battle with a fire-breathing dragon is but one of the highlights of Dynamite Johnson, which also travelled under such titles as The New Adventures of the Bionic Boy and The 12 Million Dollar Boy.

My rating: 4/10

Will I watch it again? Nanananananana NO!

This picture is nowhere near as fun as the above clip. Did you see that? "If you end upside down, you die" and when they spin her she ends upside down, the henchman turns her so she's upright and then the guy says, "You are lucky this time." The hell? AKA THE RETURN OF THE BIONIC BOY, this is inept goofiness made for kids.

The action is OK at best but there's lots of it. You don't even get to see the villain until 40 minutes in...AND THERE'S STILL AN HOUR LET TO GO!!! That's the biggest issue. I can only take so much cheese but 100 minutes is really pushing the limits. I know what you're saying, I should've watched the first movie, BIONIC BOY, before going to the sequel. Maybe all of the secrets lie in that film, secrets that would make this one less of a chore to sit through. Nah, that's total bullshit. Watch this one at your own risk. 30 minutes of this is digestible but an hour and forty is painful.

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