Monday, November 7, 2011

Barn of the Naked Dead (1974)

Director: Alan Rudolph

Starring: Andrew Prine, Manuela Thiess, Sherry Alberoni, Gyl Roland, Sheila Bromley, Gil Lamb, Al Cormier

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Captive young girls... chained... abused... by a Madman!

Plot: Three showgirls on their way to Las Vegas have car trouble and are stuck all night out in the desert. The next morning cheerful Andre offers them help in fixing their car. However, Andre is really a maniac with a lot of family problems; his mother ran out on him when he was a child so now he keeps kidnapped women chained up in his barn and trains them to perform circus tricks. Andre's father is still around of course, but because the old homestead is next to a nuclear test site he has been transformed into a raving homicidal mutant that Andre keeps locked up in a shed.

My rating: 3/10

Will I watch it again? Nooooop.

Man, I seem to have been drawn to a string of shitty 3/10 horror pictures. And here's another one that doesn't deliver half of what's on the poster. There is a barn so you barn fetishists out there can masturbate until the cows come home. There's literally less than 10 seconds of nudity and there are a couple of dead chicks but they're not naked so it doesn't really count.

BotND is not a complete waste of time if you like no budget movies with people who can't act. I have a soft spot for flicks like that IF their heart's in the right place or if they're really trying to make something different. It's got such a wacky idea it could've worked if...I hate to sound piggish but it's true in this had more sleaze and gore. It's mostly boring. Prine is fun but not enough to sustain about 90 minutes. Cut this down by half and you could enjoy yourself if only knowing that you'd be done soon.

The DVD has some extras that includes a 25 minute interview with Prine which is far more interesting the movie. There's also a near-60 minute collection of silly interviews with people like John Landis, Fred Olen Ray and a few others. I gave it 10 minutes and then skimmed through it. I can't recommend this one on any level unless you'd like to live out your days telling everyone you know that you actually watched a movie called BARN OF THE NAKED DEAD. If you can do that then you'll do almost anything. Wait, what does that say about me then?

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