Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Great White (1981)


Director: Enzo Castellari

Starring: James Franciscus, Vic Morrow, Joshua Sinclair

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: A quiet, restful summer in the lazy coastal town of Port Harbor is abruptly about to end.

Plot: An enormous and angry 35 foot Great White Shark takes revenge on humans when they build a beach just for swimmers by a coastal town. After several shark attacks, and the Mayor does nothing to stop it, James Franisscus and Vic Morrow sail in pursuit to stop it.



My Rating: 5.5

Would I watch it again? Once was plenty.

#2 on Dusk to Dawn Drive-In Trash-o-Rama Show Vol. 1 (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)

There's something about great movies and their subsequent knockoffs that fascinate me. Maybe it's the hope that the knockoff will come close to being a great, fun movie like its originator. JAWS (1975) is one of the all-time greats and there will never likely be another as good.


PIRAHNA (1978) is easily the best of the JAWS clones I've seen. Sure, it's blatant in its inspiration but it's also a helluva good time. It doesn't take itself too seriously and it's low budget is stretched more than Heidi Fleiss's meat curtains. GREAT WHITE takes a simpler, less creative approach in that it's just saying, "Hey, remember Jaws? We saw it, too!"

Soooo we're gonna put up a shark fence...HERE!

There's nothing really special here because everything it's attempting was done better in JAWS. Morrow's got the unenviable role of playing Robert Shaw's counterpart. Shaw was Welsh and Morrow is Scottish (although his accent wanders all over the place). They're both shark hunters and they both die by the shark. OK, I will give GREAT WHITE a huge round of applause for Morrow's death scene. Well, it's not his death scene so much as it's his contribution to the shark's death scene. That was pretty fucking cool. More on that later.




Considering what it is, it's quite a well-made film, technically speaking, of course. If you're a fan of director Castellari like me (INGLORIOUS BASTARDS (1978) and a string of good spaghetti westerns and exploitation films in the 60s, 70s and 80s), you'll definitely want to check this one out.

Vote for me 'cause I used to be a 70s porn star!

Same story as JAWS. Shark terrorizes a coastal town, local politician doesn't heed the warnings and lots of people die. They both have mechanical sharks (and this one didn't look that bad, surprisingly). But JAWS didn't have underwater shots like this:


"One thing's for sure, it wasn't a floatin' chainsaw."

After the Mayor fucks up by thinking they can protect the race contestants with a shark-proof fence and snipers on the ready...

He pulls the biggest WTF moment out the picture and goes after the shark with a helicopter! Trolling a large chunk of meat on a hook, Mayor McStupid thinks he can catch it. Sheer brilliance. Here's how it turns out for the Darwin Award Honorary Inductee:













TONS of stock shark footage of varying quality and of different breeds of shark that are supposed to be the same one.

So Morrow dies earlier by getting caught up in a cable that the shark is also tangled in. When the shark takes off, so does Morrow which eventually kills him. Now Morrow had an explosives belt around his waist with a detonator. After he's been long gone he shows up (still dead) when Benton (James Franciscus) could really use some help, stranded on this floating pier debris. Benton watches as the shark devours his already dead buddy, screams, "DAMN YOU!", dives very stylishly into the water and presses the detonator which, in affect, blows up the rubber shark.









I'd be likely to give it a better score but that the film makers didn't give a shit about ripping off many scenes and situations from the first two JAWS films, I can't really do that. They really tried to make a serious shark attack movie hoping that audiences will have either forgotten the original or remembered it and thought it would be just as good. What makes it worse is that GREAT WHITE came 6 years after JAWS!!! I'm betting they were hoping audiences had forgotten. I'll bet further still that they were wanting to forget this one. They got their chance because Universal successfully sued to have this pulled from theaters days after its release.


Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Journey to the Far Side of the Sun (1969)


Director: Robert Parrish

Starring: Roy Thinnes, Ian Hendry, Patrick Wymark, Lynn Loring, Herbert Lom

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: You will meet yourself face-to-face when Earth meets its duplicate in outer space!

Plot: A planet is discovered in the same orbit as Earth's but is located on the exact opposite side of the sun, making it not visible from Earth. The European Space Exploration Council decide to send American astronaut Glenn Ross and British scientist John Kane via spaceship to explore the other planet. After a disastrous crash-landing Ross awakes to learn that Kane lies near death and that they apparently have returned to Earth, as evidenced by the presence of the Council director and his staff. Released to the custody of his wife, he soon learns things are not as they seem.



My Rating: 8/10

Would I watch it again? Oh, yeah.

What a pleasant surprise this was. I really love a good science fiction movie, especially the kind that involve outer space. This one freakin' delivers. And even though it might have a little that 1960s optimism that can seem naive and silly, it delivers the 'gee whiz bang' special effects and model work. And we haven't even talked about the great story.



JOURNEY (know as Doppelganger in the UK where it was made) has a great plot and twist, the kind that feels at home in The Twilight Zone. But MAN, OH, MAN the model work is fucking awesome!


It's plenty talky, building up the conflict of the secretive mission, enough to maybe turn some folks off but the great 60s Ken Adam-esque (he did the set design for most of the Bond pictures of the 60s and 70s) sets keep your eyeballs popping. Yeah, it's 45 minutes into the picture before we finally take off into space but that's OK by me.

Ooh. Cool! A Space Bed!

And a Space Car? AWESOME!!!

What the deuce? Space Cleavage? I sooo want to be an astronaut when I grow up.


JOURNEY is great fun through and through and I may enjoy it even more with a second viewing (which is certain to happen soon). I really dig sci-fi of the 60s and 70s and it's such a treat to discover a good one that I haven't seen. Loads of fun. Check it out. The DVD looks great!

The Abandoned (2006)


Director: Nacho Cerda

Starring: Anastasia Hille

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: Death never runs out of time.

Plot: Upon hearing that her birth mother has died, an American woman (Hille) who was raised by adoptive parents travels to her Russian homeland to take over the family farm she inherited. But almost immediately, she senses something's wrong. The plot thickens when she discovers she's not alone -- and seeing ghosts takes on a whole new meaning.
My Rating: 7/10



Would I watch it again? Yeah

I quite like this film. It's essentially a ghost story. A ghost story done right which gives you loads of atmosphere. The isolation of the farmhouse, the gloomy, overcast weather, the dampness and the cold...it's all there.


I like that the setting is on the other side of the world and not localized. It feels reminiscent without being comfortably close, if that makes any sense. Very good camerawork and framing and a good score that establishes mood without bringing attention to itself. Good performance from Hille, too.



THE ABANDONED is a slow burn so it's not for everyone. But then it doesn't overstay its welcome at only 99 minutes. It's a Spanish film (in English) and it appears to be writer/director Cerda's only feature fiction film to date. Too bad. There's some real talent at work here and I'm definitely up for more. If you like the 'creeps under your skin' kind of slow-paced and atmospheric horror, this one's got your name on it...just don't leave it behind. Ahahahahaha.



Sunday, April 11, 2010

Bare Knuckles (1977)


Director: Don Edmonds

Starring: Robert Viharo, Sherry Jackson, Michael Heit, Gloria Hendry and John Daniels

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: Zack Kane - Manhunter Coming At You!

Plot: A bounty hunter in Los Angeles sets out to track down and stop a masked serial killer who murders women.



My Rating: 5/10

Would I watch it again? Nope. Nnnnnno!

OK. So I had this great idea to check out every movie on a particular trailer compilation (MORE ON THAT HERE). Well it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Robert Viharo (playing tough guy, Zachary Kane), looking like Gabe Kaplan of WELCOME BACK KOTTER fame and is about as tough, just doesn't make much of an action lead. Sorry, Bub. His acting style involves a lot of waiting as if the 'cool' is oozing out of him and it's going to bitch-slap us at any moment. Billy Dee Williams, he ain't!


The dialogue is in the 'so bad it's good' category. Check out this choice exchange...

JENNIFER: Who are you?

ZACK: A local wine merchant.
JENNIFER: I don't even know your name.
ZACK: It's Kane.
JENNIFER: Kane?
ZACK: Mmmhmm.
JENNIFER: As in Abel? As in candy? As in citizen?

ZACK: As in blind man's.
JENNIFER: You scare the hell outta me. What do you do?
ZACK: The best I can.

JENNIFER: You could hurt me, ya know?
ZACK: I wouldn't do that.
JENNIFER: Not the me on the outside...the me on the inside; the one nobody sees.

ZACK: I wouldn't do that.

That's the type of thing you get through the entire picture. Kane enlists the help of his friend, Black, who is, uh, um, well...black. He helps Kane out for about 20 or so minutes and then he's gone for the rest of the film. The thing is is that he's set up to be a main character and just vanishes when the plot no longer needs him. WTF??? I know.

"I'm Black...that, too, but it's my name motherfucker!"

We do get not one but TWO montages! And both within the first twenty minutes! The first one shows Kane working out at the gym doing push-ups, sit-ups, punching a bag with a hippie, running and finally he's playing a flute!


Three things of note: he fucking loves those bluejeans as he's in them throughout the entire montage. He's not jogging but running/sprinting (in bluejeans!!!). And the sound you hear during his flute solo is a synthesizer!!!

I was totally on board at this point. The next montage has Kane doing the tedious leg work it takes in trying to locate someone who's gone missing. It was nicely done and I really felt this could be one of those hidden gems you come across every once in a while. Nope, because once he's on the hunt you get a few poorly staged action set pieces (the car chase was an exception, being that it wasn't that bad in comparison) and lots of waiting, it's boring and I found myself reaching for the remote to tell me how much more of this I have to endure.


One really bizarre scene shows Devlin (the serial killer Kane's after) having breakfast with his mother that ends with him kissing her full on the lips. WOW. Did not see that comin'!


Now, the fist fights (hence the title) are slow and clumsy. They could have EASILY fixed that in post with tightening up the editing and adding some crisp contact foley. What a missed opportunity. What they give us feels too loose and silly. The aforementioned car chase comes at the end before the big mano-a-mano fight. Devlin's on a motorcycle and Kane's in a car. Devlin slides and falls off his bike while Mister Kot-taire rolls his car, runs from it, the engine explodes and then the trunk explodes. It's funnier than it is stupid. I loved it. Oh, and they managed to hit every stack of dust-filled cardboard boxes in a ten-mile radius.

...Oh, alright...I'll stick around for the rest of the picture I guess...



KANE: How you doin', Reno?
RENO: What do you want, Kane?
KANE: Is Black in?
RENO: You got a piece?
KANE: Yeah.
RENO: I'll take it.
KANE: You'll have to. (and....wait...)

She sooooo needs to have my babies.

Great stuff but it's not enough to make this that re-watchable, unfortunately. Seriously, I'm having more fun talking about it 24 hours later than I did watching it. Maybe with a few friends this could bump up to a fun 7/10. Take out about a half hour of the shit that just lays there and you've got a flick that's great stupid, cheesy and fun. Otherwise it's just a lot of waiting for a little something every few minutes. I need a bit more to chew on than that. Don't want my M&Ms one at a time and only when someone feels like passing 'em around. Just gimme the bowl.


Dusk to Dawn Drive-In Trash-o-Rama Show Vol. 1 (19??)


I...LOVE...trailer compilations! Over the past twenty or so years I've collected probably a hundred or more. They're fun. I've got spaghetti western trailer comps, giallo, EuroSpy, horror, sci-fi, nudie cuties from the 50s & 60s, martial arts and on and on and on. Back in 80s Something Weird Video started putting out VHS tapes of trailer comps in a series called Dusk to Dawn Drive-In Trash-o-Rama Show. To the best of my knowledge they had ten volumes, each was a mishmash of genres, mostly action and horror from the 50s-70s. Lots of outrageous stuff.

When it comes to trailer compilations, it's really tough to not like any of them. I've certainly never watched one I didn't enjoy. True, some are better than others. In an ideal world where I have cloned myself and had tons of time for all of the me's to do what I want, I'd make my own trailer comps making the ultimate in entertainment for me and my friends. Unless there's just a string of dull trailers, just about all trailer comps are going to rate a 8/10 - 10/10 because they're just so much damn fun.

For years I thought how fun it would be to take one of the trailer comps I have and watch every film represented. It'd be a huge undertaking but it could be a total gas. A few days ago I came across someone who is doing just that. He created a page (I'd list it here but it's on a site for members only and therefore it would not be accessible to just about everyone...sorry) which lists all ten volumes of this series with every single film whose trailer is contained on them and which ones he's seen. I've waited long enough. But rather than just watch any of the films, I'm going to watch them in order beginning with this series and volume 1. It's a tremendous undertaking which will take me the rest of 2010 to accomplish but it's sure to at least be a fun ride. I have most of these films already and it looks like I should be able to get my hands on nearly all of the rest. Some I've already seen since I started the blog and there are some others that I haven't seen since in over 20 years.

So let's dig into it. Here's the complete list of all of the films on volume 1 which link to their trailers on YouTube as well as links to the reviews on this site as I see them. It's worth noting that many of these films have many alternate titles and the ones represented (in the trailers themselves) may not be the title you would know. For example, The Jezebels is MUCH better known as Switchblade Sisters.

01) REVIEW - TRAILER - Bare Knuckles (1977)
02) REVIEW - TRAILER - Great White (1981)
03) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Black Connection...Run Nigger Run (1974)
04) REVIEW - TRAILER - Hell's Chosen Few (1968)
05) REVIEW - TRAILER - Chain Gang Women (1971)
06) REVIEW - TRAILER - Sugar Hill (1974)
07) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Amazing World of Psychic Phenomena (1976)
08) REVIEW - TRAILER - Wild Riders (1971)
09) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Brute and the Beast (aka Massacre Time) (1966)
10) REVIEW - TRAILER - Crazy Mama (1975)
11) REVIEW - TRAILER - Tidal Wave (1973)
12) REVIEW - TRAILER - Circle of Iron (1978)
13) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Great Hollywood Rape-Slaughter (1971)
14) REVIEW - TRAILER - The 3 Dimensions of Greta (1972)
15) REVIEW - TRAILER - Werewolves on Wheels (1971)
16) REVIEW - TRAILER - Korean Connection (1974)
17) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Killer Breed (1967)
18) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Groove Tube (1974)
19) REVIEW - TRAILER - Pets (1974)
20) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Godfathers of Hong Kong (1974) (UNABLE TO FIND - please help)
21) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Night of the Assassin (1970)
22) REVIEW - TRAILER - The House That Vanished (1973)
23) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Evil (1978)
24) REVIEW - TRAILER - Don't Go in the House (1980)
25) REVIEW - TRAILER - Something is Out There (1977)
26) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Hot Box (1972)
27) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Born Losers (1967)
28) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Female Bunch (1969)
29) REVIEW - TRAILER - Naked Rider (1973)
30) REVIEW - TRAILER - Kill Squad (1982)
31) REVIEW - TRAILER - Matilda (1978)
32) REVIEW - TRAILER - Digby, the Biggest Dog in the World (1973)
33) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Mysterious Monsters (1976)
34) REVIEW - TRAILER - Hells Angels on Wheels (1967)
35) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Glory Stompers (1968)
36) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Mutations (1974)
37) REVIEW - TRAILER - Flesh Gordon (1974)
38) REVIEW - TRAILER - Luana (1968)
39) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Jezebels (1975)
40) REVIEW - TRAILER - Scream Baby Scream (1969)
41) REVIEW - TRAILER - Gay Liberation (1978) (UNABLE TO FIND - please help)
42) REVIEW - TRAILER - Squirm (1976)
43) REVIEW - TRAILER - Zebra Force (1976)
44) REVIEW - TRAILER - Savage Sisters (1974)
45) REVIEW - TRAILER - Johnny Firecloud (1975)
46) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Swiss Conspiracy (1976)
47) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Bull Buster (1973) (UNABLE TO FIND - please help)
48) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here! (1972)
49) REVIEW - TRAILER - Vampyres (1974)
50) REVIEW - TRAILER - Women for Sale (1969) (UNABLE TO FIND - please help)
51) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Rape Killer (1974)
52) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Girl in Room 2A (1973)
53) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Teacher (1974)
54) REVIEW - TRAILER - Liz (1976) (UNABLE TO FIND - please help)
55) REVIEW - TRAILER - Eve (1968)
56) REVIEW - TRAILER - Superchick (1973)
57) REVIEW - TRAILER - Women in Cages (1971)
58) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Big Bird Cage (1972)
59) REVIEW - TRAILER - Sins of Rachel (1972)
60) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Cat Ate the Parakeet (1972) (UNABLE TO FIND - please help)
61) REVIEW - TRAILER - Mother (1970)
62) REVIEW - TRAILER - Nazi Love Camp 27 (1977)
63) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Captive Female (1973)
64) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Love Thrill Murders (1971)
65) REVIEW - TRAILER - Night of the Lepus (1972)
66) REVIEW - TRAILER - Cannibal Girls (1973)
67) REVIEW - TRAILER - Satan's Cheerleaders (1977)
68) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Vampires' Night Orgy (1973)
69) REVIEW - TRAILER - Simon, King of the Witches (1971)
70) REVIEW - TRAILER - Black Belt Jones (1973)
71) REVIEW - TRAILER - Curse of the Headless Horseman (1974)
72) REVIEW - TRAILER - Carnival of Blood (1970)
73) REVIEW - TRAILER - The Warriors (1979)
74) REVIEW - TRAILER - Chrome and Hot Leather (1971)
75) REVIEW - TRAILER - Point of Terror (1971)