The Secret of the Loch (1934)

Director:  Milton Rosmer

Writers: Charles Bennett, Billie Bristow

Composer:  Peter Mendoza

Starring:  Seymour Hicks, Nancy O'Neil, Gibson Gowland, Frederick Peisley, Eric Hales, Ben Field, Hubert Harben, Rosamund John, Robb Wilton, Fewlass Llewellyn

More info:  IMDb

Plot:  A batty Scottish professor attempts to prove the existence of the Loch Ness Monster, but everyone thinks he's crazy. Meanwhile, a foolish young reporter attempts to get a scoop on the story.

My rating:   5.5/10

Will I watch it again?   No.

At 71 minutes long, this flick moves fast and that's evident in the first few minutes when there's a meeting of science-types poo-pooing Professor Heggie's (Hicks) claims that the Loch Ness Monster is real.  It quickly establishes that everyone thinks he's batshit crazy and it throws in some silly humor to let you know what kind of picture this is.  They don't tamp the brakes just yet because an unnaturally energetic young London reporter, Jimmy (Peisley), is freaking the fuck out because he's going to Scotland for the big scoop.  When he arrives he meets Professor Heggie's granddaughter, Angela (Gowland) by climbing into her bedroom window (instead of granddad) by mistake, whereupon he falls in love with her.  Hours later he's ready to marry her.  Ah, love...

Gimme some sugar, Baby!

He soon loses his job for no reason at all except to move the plot along faster.  Now the only way he can keep his job is to prove the professor is right.  If he can find the monster, he'll get to keep his job AND Angela agreed to marry him on that one condition.  Jesus, folks, this is right out of real life, huh?!  Of course it ends happily and the monster is a gila monster in slow motion made to look like it's underwater.   Did you expect more?  They had a budget to consider.  This silly little comedy has a few mild laughs but the pacing makes it go by painlessly enough.  There's not much of value here so it's OK to skip it.  I'm sure you can find this on YouTube or elsewhere free to watch.  There is one thing to note and that's that David "Mutha Fuckin' Lawrence of Arabia" Lean edited this picture!!!  Put that in your haggis pipe and smoke it!  Can you tell it's him?  Nope.  But it's an interesting piece of trivia nonetheless.