Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Chain Gang Women (1971)

Director: Lee Frost

Starring: Robert Lott, Michael Stearns, Linda York and Barbara Mills

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: Chained like animals - treated like trash - even the filth and sweat couldn't stop their primitive cravings!

Plot: Two boring MALE convicts escape a chain gang. Yawning ensues.

My Rating: 3/10

Would I watch it again? jesus, no.

#5 on Dusk to Dawn Drive-In Trash-o-Rama Show Vol. 1 (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)

First of all, the title is misleading...unless you're George Luca$ (you know, that whole "from a certain point of view" thing?). This is NOT a Women In Prison picture like the title, or even the poster, suggests. Nope. Not even close. At best, it's a low-rent COOL HAND LUKE.

"We broke out." Well, fucking DUH! You're in prison uniforms and you're chained at the feet. Christ on rubber crutches, this movie is dumb!

Southern California fills in for what's supposed to be Georgia. Starting out in a prison, Harris, a drug dealer working in the prison library, has only six months left on his sentence and he's being transferred to a chain gang where he's teamed up with Weed, an convicted killer. Chained at the feet, they escape and make their way to Anne's place, Harris' girl.

Wait. I'm getting way ahead of myself. 30 minutes into the picture...NO WOMEN! In fact, it's nothing but dull prison/chain gang shit for 40 FUCKING MINUTES!!! It's a god damned sausage fest!

It's not until 43 minutes into the thing that we see the first woman!

Chain gang woman #1

Harris and Anne bang one out. Weed wants in on the action so he tells Harris to go out and buy him some clothes (see, he's taller than Harris and can't wear his clothes). While he's out, Weed rapes Anne. Harris is back and they're off to Atlanta...only the coppers have checkpoints set up on every road leading out of town so they find a farmhouse occupied by an old man and his 17-year-old wife!!! Hey, it's The South.

Chain gang woman #2

They tie the old man up and Weed rapes the wife. After he's done he relieves Harris on guard duty. The wife invites Harris into her bedroom and tells him, in her nakedness, that she wants to get away from her husband that beats her when he drinks and that she'll do anything to go with them when they leave in the morning...and she does.

They come across another checkpoint and there's a minor chase with the three eluding the fuzz and making their way back to the farmhouse. The old man has untied himself and chokes Weed to death while he sleeps, taking his rifle and killing Harris. This moldy turd ends with the old man telling his wife that everything's back to normal and it's going to be just like it was before. THE...FUCKING...END!

So, let me get this straight. You justify the title because there's a chain gang and you technically have 2 women in the film? Whatever. This picture is dull and lifeless and the only thing I came away from it with is that I don't think I've ever seen the split screen technique used more poorly and for a film shot in 1:33 (at best this might be 1:66 but likely closer to 1:33).

You have been warned. Oh, and for what it's worth? This is on a double bill DVD titled Welcome to the Grindhouse. It's paired with THE HELLCATS and it plainly says on the cover, "DOUBLE THE BIKERS DOUBLE THE TROUBLE." BULLSHIT! The other film is a biker flick but this one isn't. Oh, wait. I get it. They're following the lead set by the film makers. There IS a motorcycle in this picture. My bad. I still claim bullshit!

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