Martyrs (2008)

Director: Pascal Laugier

Starring: Morjana Alaoui, Mylène Jampanoï

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: They did not finish to be alive...

Plot: A young woman's quest for revenge against the people who kidnapped and tormented her as a child leads her and a friend, who is also a victim of child abuse, on a terrifying journey into a living hell of depravity.

My Rating: 8

Would I watch it again? Absolutely

This is going to be brief. MARTYRS is different than any horror/torture film you have seen. HOSTEL is Mickey Mouse compared to this. It's a revenge film of sorts with lots of torture but the difference between this and HOSTEL, and others of it's like, is that the torture has absolute purpose to the story which builds to a very profound climax.

It's only in the closing short minutes do we understand why what has happened had to happen. It's easy to dismiss this as being another torture horror film but at least with MARTYRS, the torture has weight and meaning. This is not for the feint of heart. It will get under your skin and largely because you don't know the "why" until the very end. And even then you're likely to spend some time afterward trying to make sense of it all. This is great, fucked-up cinema. If you think you've seen it all...you haven't. WOW!

Let the Right One In (2008)

Director: Tomas Alfredson

Starring: Lina Leandersson & Kare Hedebrant

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: Eli is 12 years old. She's been 12 for over 200 years and, she just moved in next door.

Plot: Oscar, an overlooked and bullied boy, finds love and revenge through Eli, a beautiful but peculiar girl who turns out to be a vampire.

My Rating: 8.5/10

Would I watch it again? Does the Twilight saga suck?

I saw this on a double bill with MOON (2009) as the second feature. WOW! Finally, an intelligent, thought-provoking vampire film that doesn't suck or insult the viewer. Of course this didn't come from Hollywood (although the US remake is due soon) but from Sweden, the country that gave us the kick ass Nazi zombie movie, DEAD SNOW (2009).


LTROI is really about the relationship between two children, Oskar and Eli. Eli just happens to be a vampire. To really speak of the plot is to spoil it so there'll be none of that here. It's a beautifully quiet, serene and haunting picture that stays with you long after the credits have rolled. It pulls no punches when it comes to the gore and the relationship between the two leads is very tender and sweet. I'd LOVE to discuss the ending but then it's spoiler territory.


Fuck it.

MARK OF THE SPOILERS.....

I feel that while Oskar is completely taken with Eli, she is forward-looking, knowing that she needs a caretaker. She has been looking at Oskar almost from the beginning of the film as the successor for that role that she desperately needs to be filled. So it's a mutual love they share but it's quite lop-sided with Oskar not knowing his fate as he will likely spend his life serving her. It's a twisted take but that's what I took from it as I pondered the film in the days after seeing it.

END OF SPOILERS...YARRRRRRR!

So here's a great horror flick that doesn't insult its audience by leading it by the hand and spelling out every little detail, wrapping up in one nice, tight little package. It's thought-provoking and refreshing. We need more of these instead of the by-the-numbers Hollywood bullshit.

Moon (2009)

Director: Duncan Jones

Starring: Sam Rockwell & Kevin Spacey

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: The last place you'd ever expect to find yourself

Plot: Astronaut Sam Bell has a quintessentially personal encounter toward the end of his three-year stint on the Moon, where he, working alongside his computer, GERTY, sends back to Earth parcels of a resource that has helped diminish our planet's power problems.



My Rating: 9/10

Would I watch it again? So far...3 times and counting

Where do I fucking begin? It's brilliant. It's one of the most remarkable pieces of sci-fi cinema to come along in the past thirty years. It very much feels like the kind of science fiction that we got in the 1970s pre-STAR WARS. I first saw this late last year on a double bill with LET THE RIGHT ONE IN which just about blew my mind. Both films require your attention and they both deliver intelligent genre cinema in spades.

I LOVE the model work. It's has a brilliance and realism that we aren't getting with CGI...yet. Growing up in the 70s I long for movies these days to NOT use the computer so much and get back to real, hands-on models. Sure there's things that have to be CGI but there's something to be said about real in-camera special effects. And oh how I miss stop-motion animation. Sigh.

Anyway, this is a tour-de-force for Rockwell and it's a fucking crime he wasn't even nominated for an Academy Award. Fuck. This film didn't receive a single nomination...AT ALL! I'm stupified. Just look at all of the other awards it has won. Oh, and Clint Mansell's score is pitch perfect. Duncan Jones (son of David Bowie) knocks this one out of the park. Here's hoping he can continue to deliver the goods in the proposed trilogy he's said he'd like to film.

Watchmen (2009)

Director: Zack Snyder

Starring: Billy Crudup, Jackie Earle Haley, Malin Akerman, Jeffrey Dean Morgan

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: This city is afraid of me. I've seen its true face.

Plot: In an alternate 1985 where former superheroes exist, the murder of a colleague sends active vigilante Rorschach into his own sprawling investigation, uncovering something that could completely change the course of history as we know it.

My Rating: 9/10

Would I watch it again? Yup!

I never read the graphic novel. Still haven't but I'm eager to. I had no idea what to expect walking into the theater. I was blown away.


The multi-level story is most interesting. The characters are diverse with more than a few that are so much fun they deserve their own separate franchise. Haley rocks as Rorschach. He's just a down-to-Earth-balls-out-do-what-has-to-be-done-regardless-of-what-anyone-thinks kind of guy. His prison scene bits are badass and hysterically funny.


Morgan as The Comedian is fantastic as well. He's a really nasty good guy. Despite being a rapist, murderer and an all 'round asshole, he's really likable and enjoyable to watch. It's a strange dynamic that really works well.


Everyone else in the cast does a super job with the exception of Akerman. Sure she gets points for walking around half nude through most of the picture, except when she's completely nude (gotta love superheroes that get naked), but her performance doesn't match the level of her co-stars. I'm sure she seemed like a good idea during casting but it's quite obvious once you see her in the midst of solid performances. But, hey. It's not nearly as bad as Keanu Reeves in BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA (1992)!

The ending is something of a downer but it's a downer that's kind of uplifting and it's certainly one that provides fodder to discuss at-length with friends. Compared to most folks, I watch A LOT of movies and I watch them for a variety of reasons. I like to be entertained, for sure, but when something like this that comes along that delivers the goods AND sneaks in some weighty commentary that turns my brain on, I relish in it.


One fine example is Dr. Manhattan. If you could do ANYTHING, would you stay on Earth? With the universe at your fingertips, would you care? Like a kid running free in a toy store I would expect your favorite toy would soon lose favor to something else. It's bound to happen. Manhattan's actions and dialogue seemed very rational for a 'person' in his state. Those around him may not see it or accept it but that's their issue, not his.

Cookies made for a recent WATCHMEN Blu-ray screening...Mmmmm...

The three hour and six minute director's cut is a lot to sit through. It's definitely a commitment but it's worth it. And some say I'm afraid of commitment. Ha!! In...your...face!

Seance on a Wet Afternoon (1964)

Director: Bryan Forbes

Starring: Kim Stanley, Richard Attenborough

More Info: IMDB

Plot: Myra, a self-styled psychic in London, concocts a scheme to gain celebrity. She convinces Billy, her weak-willed husband, to kidnap the young daughter of wealthy parents. She and Billy will demand money, and then she will go to the parents with extra-sensory messages that will help the police find the child and the ransom. The plan unfolds beautifully until...

My Rating: 8.5/10

Would I watch it again? You bet, Guv'nah!

I was not expecting this. But then again, I didn't know what to expect. WOW! Excellent film. The B&W widescreen photography is outstanding and it wouldn't have worked nearly as well in color.


I really dig how this is initially treated innocently as a married couple discussing what seems like their mundane lives until you discover that they're talking about the kidnapping of a small girl. Now this is my kind of movie, taking something horrible and looking at it from the rational (to their way of thinking) viewpoint of the criminals. Without spoiling anything I will say that it plays out with a balance between innocent/well-intentioned and sinister. There are quite a few tense moments (I seem to be encountering more and more films with moments like these lately - very nice) that will have you on the edge. Watch this one in the dark with no interruptions, please.



Nice score by a long-time favorite, John Barry. Underplayed at times and very effective.

Myra: Why did I ever marry you, Billy?
Billy: I don't know, Dear, why did you?
Myra: Because you're weak...and...because you need me.
Billy: Well, those are two good reasons.


We hear about a child that the two principles had that died young. Myra talks about him frequently and the conversations they have (as a psychic she speaks to the dead). At times I couldn't help but be reminded of WHO'S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF? (1966) which explores a similar theme but in a different way. And like WOOLF, the performances here, notably Stanley and Attenborough, are outstanding. As the film progresses your perceptions of the two leads change, culminating in a nice climactic finale.


SEANCE feels very much like a stage play and it could easily be adapted to one. If you like your thrillers on the "blanket pulled up to throat" variety, this one will serve you well. It's a pleasant deviation from the other stuff Hollywood puts out and you'd do very well by giving this one a go. I'm certainly glad I did.

Equilibrium (2002)

Director: Kurt Wimmer

Starring: Christian Bale, Sean Bean, Taye Diggs, William Fichtner, Emily Watson, Angus Macfadyen

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: In a future where freedom is outlawed outlaws will become heroes.

Plot: In a futuristic world, a strict regime has eliminated war by suppressing emotions: books, art and music are strictly forbidden and feeling is a crime punishable by death. Cleric John Preston (Bale) is a top ranking government agent responsible for destroying those who resist the rules. Whe he misses a dose of Prozium, a mind-altering drug that hinders emotion, Preston, who has been trained to enforce the strict laws of the new regime, suddenly becomes the only person capable of overthrowing it.

My Rating: 9/10

Would I watch it again? Shit, yeah!

Lousy tagline. Great movie.

I've repeatedly heard this compared to THE MATRIX. Why? I don't know. I just watched this for the fourth or fifth time and I just don't see it. Maybe it's the look of the film and that the main characters wear black. The poster art doesn't help distinguish it. If anything it's more related to FAHRENHEIT 451 (1966) than anything else. And that's just because it's a futuristic tale where emotion has been suppressed by the government. Outside of that we're looking at a major contribution to a bleak future where humans are more robotic than human. It ain't pretty, folks.


Bale makes this picture. If you stuck 'Ole Woodenhead (Keanu Reeves) in this it would be retarded. Bale is surrounded by a great cast and crew. There are several HOLY SHIT moments in this that it will beg you for more viewings. The special effects are fun and unique, the new fighting style of Gun Fu is neat and the ending is a jump up and scream kind of climax. Mmmmmm.

Klaus Badelt's score works great, too. Emily Watson is either miscast or her look is off. I'm too tired to give it much thought.


One thing I REALLY like about this movie is the action/fight scenes are cut in such a way that YOU CAN FREAKIN' SEE WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! I'm so tired of modern films using the shaky cam/quick edits to cover up the lack of talent and skill of the film makers. With this picture you're allowed to see every move and soak in the experience without sacrificing its effectiveness. Nicely, nicely.


Now, I liked the first MATRIX movie A LOT (the sequels were terrible) but EQUILIBRIUM is even better. Highly recommended.

The God Who Wasn't There (2005)

Director: Brian Flemming

Starring: Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris and a bunch of Religiosos

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: A Film Beyond Belief

Plot: Did Jesus exist? This film starts with that question, then goes on to examine Christianity as a whole.

My Rating: 9/10

Would I watch it again? Fire up the simultinis and let's go


This is a scream. Fleming (who also narrates) is FUNNY...AS...HELL! At right about 60 minutes TGWWT flies with more laugh-out-loud moments than Bill Clinton's "I Did Not Have Sex With That Woman" speech.


The highlight (besides the hilarious finale) is the story of Jesus told in 6 minutes or less. Don't believe me?


See. 6 minutes or less. This guy's a riot and I can't wait to see what he does next. 86 crispy fans can't be wrong, can they?

Funny Games (1997)

Director: Michael Haneke

Starring: Germans

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: Ein Alptraum. (English translation: A Nightmare)

Plot: Two psychotic young men take a mother, father, and son hostage in their vacation cabin and force them to play sadistic "games" with one another for their own amusement.








My Rating: 9/10

Would I watch it again? As sure as Britney Spears will do something kooky

This movie should be titled, "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!", 'cause that's the most common phrase heard by anyone who watches it. And I thought the Japanese had the marked corned on brutality and torture. The Germans, apparently, never lost their touch - they just kept it in storage for a couple of generations.

I cannot avoid talking about this without spoilers so THERE WILL BE SPOILERS...YARRRRR

It's great watching this one for the second time knowing the outcome. As the film unfolds the unsuspecting family meets their killers by being introduced to them by their neighbors. We later find out that the neighbors were killed shortly thereafter and the new family ends up introducing the killers to their friends and next victims after they themselves are killed. NICE! The two boys are pitch perfect in their care free torturing, murdering ways. In fact all of the acting is great. The family in captivity do a fantastic job in delivering very believable performances. The two killers are in complete control and it's obvious that they're not new at this and know exactly what they're doing. The mind-fucks these guys dish out are extraordinary. They are able to exact whatever they like from their victims albeit reluctantly at first.

2ND WARNING OF MAJOR SPOILAGE...YARRRR

In one of the most daring and challenging scenes I have ever seen the boys have just blown the son's head off with a shotgun. There is blood all over the immediate area of the kids' former head. We are forced to watch this scene...


It easily lasts a full minute or two with no moving whatsoever until the mother finally gasps in horror that her son is dead. It's gripping, startling, emotionally piercing. It's one of the fucking ballsiest shots by a filmmaker EVER. EVER! You're forced to soak it in. In other films the kid is killed, we mourn for a few seconds and it's onto new business. Haneke holds the audience captive and makes us slowly digest what just occurred. Fucking brilliant.

What follows is a long drawn out quiet section where the mother and father are taking advantage of the suddenly empty and quiet house by deciding on what to do. His leg is broken so he stays. She leaves to find help. The boys are nowhere to be found but they find her. Just when you think you've seen all that can be shown Haneke gives us a few more shocks. Dad is stabbed multiple times and mom is bound with tape at her feet, hands and mouth. They take a nice little sail across the lake, push mom overboard and proceed to the cottage of the family's friends they were introduced to earlier in the film where the process of taking over this new family begins. OH FUCKING YEAH!!!

END OF SPOILERS...YARRRR

The use of hardcore thrash metal music hits all of the right notes, so to speak. It's a remarkably jarring technique which plays up the tone of the film to a tee. Other than that I don't recall any music at all and that's a good thing. A score would have removed some of the shock value and would have lessened the impact by the shots and performances. Sometimes the lack of music can work and this is definitely a case for it.

One technique I particularly enjoyed was the main killer's point of breaking the fourth wall. That's where a character in some way acknowledges the audience. Here he turns and looks (and sometimes speaks to) the camera. It's actually amusing as the director implicates us in the crimes because we are watching it happen. VERY effective. And what the character says is
sickeningly funny. The final shot of the film will forever be burned into my memory. It's gloriously fucked up.

I L-O-V-E movies with raw, fucked-up endings. I enjoy films that pick you up by the short hairs and smack you around a bit before they kick you to the curb without any money or idea of who you are and why you're there. If you're having trouble breaking up with your girlfriend, just invite her over for a movie night double feature with MAN BITES DOG (1992) and follow it up
with FUNNY GAMES. She'll probably leave quietly and never look back and all you did was show a couple of films. If she stays and asks for more then send her over to my place. THAT'S my kinda gal.