Friday, May 6, 2011

Satan's Cheerleaders (1977)

Director: Greydon Clark

Starring: John Ireland, Yvonne De Carlo, Jack Kruschen, John Carradine, Sydney Chaplin, dumb bitches

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Funnier than "The Omen"... scarier than "Silent Movie."

Plot: The janitor at a local high school is actually the scout for a coven of Satanists on the lookout for a virgin to sacrifice. One day he kidnaps the cheerleading squad to use for their rituals. However, unbeknownst to the devil-worshipers, one of the cheerleaders is actually a witch, and has plans of her own for the Satanists.

My rating: 2/10 and that's generous

Will I watch it again? Aw, HELL, NO!

#67 on Dusk to Dawn Drive-In Trash-o-Rama Show Vol. 1 (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)

This is fucking horrible. Fucking. Horrible. The only thing that keeps this from being a 1/10 is that it's somewhat competently made and it's got Ireland, De Carlo, Carradine and Chaplin in it. This is most unfunny comedy I've ever seen. There is not god and there is no Satan. If there were, either one would have intervened to prevent me from seeing this awful, awful movie. The girls are annoying as hell and deserve to be slaughtered yet all of them escape unharmed. That's just wrong. You'd think by the title there'd be lots of gore and nudity but there's only a scant bit of skin and no gore. Utterly worthless. Director Clark's previous film was BLACK SHAMPOO (1976) which was far less polished and with less of a budget and talent but was considerably more entertaining than this picture. Avoid at all costs.

More proof there is no god...a SATAN'S CHEERLEADERS fansite.

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