Bad Ass (2012)

Director: Craig Moss

Writers: Craig Moss, Elliot Tishman

Composer: Todd Haberman

Starring: Danny Trejo, Charles S. Dutton, Patrick Fabian, Joyful Drake, John Duffy, Harrison Page, Richard Riehle, Winter Ave Zoli, Tonita Castro, Ron Perlman

More info: IMDb

Tagline: They messed with the wrong senior citizen.

Plot: A Vietnam veteran who becomes a local hero after saving a man from attackers on a city bus decides to take action when his best friend is murdered and the police show little interest in solving the crime.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again?  Yes.

I love it!  Trejo was almost 70 when he made this and he's kicking ass all over the place.  It's a little far retched but it's fun and a big part of that is on Trejo.  He's a lot of fun and he does a wonderful job.   The first act was great and that montage at the beginning was very touching and nicely handled.  After that first act, the picture could've gone a couple of ways.  One would be to continue as a crime drama with social commentary on aging/how seniors are treated as well as living in a poor community.  But they chose to go the revenge action route and I'm OK with that.  Besides Frank (Trejo) knocking the piss out of anyone who gets in his way without barely getting a scratch, the spot where it went off the rails into ridiculous territory was the bus chase.  It was over the top big time action movie cliche territory but it was fun just the same.  I even teared up a little at the end.  I wouldn't mind seeing this as a franchise but starting an action franchise in your late sixties isn't something you'd expect from anyone but then we're talking about Danny Fuckin' Trejo!

I'm just going to put this out there...  Somebody PLEASE cast Trejo as an ass kicking Fidel Castro, galavanting across South America righting wrongs and sparking revolutions or snuffing them out.  Please?

Bates Motel (2013) TV series

Creators: Carlton Cruse, Kerry Ehrin

Writers: Anthony Cipriano, Carlton Cruse, Kerry Ehrin

Composer: Chris Bacon

Starring: Vera Farmiga, Freddie Highmore, Max Thieriot, Olivia Cooke, Nestor Carbonell

More info: IMDb

Tagline: A boy's best friend is his mother.

Plot: A contemporary prequel to Psycho, giving a portrayal of how Norman Bates' psyche unravels through his teenage years, and how deeply intricate his relationship with his mother, Norma, truly is.

My rating: 8/10

Will I watch it again?  Yes.

I was very skeptical upon hearing they were making a TV show based on my favorite horror movie.  I was wrong.  It's excellent.  Norman and his mother (superbly played by Highmore and Farmiga) have been turned into two very engaging characters.  By the end of the first episode I acclimated to the old look of the show set in modern day.  It was strange at first but they've made it work so well.  Just about everything works for me from the actors, writing, score and so on.  It can be a little frustrating at how long the show is being dragged out but I'm mostly fine with that.  It's great fucking drama with a cast of characters I really dig.  There's a moment at the end of the last episode of season two (I think it's that one) where in seconds you see Norman from the show transform into the Norman from the Hitchcock picture and it made my skin tingle with glee.  It's so subtle and so brilliantly executed.  I'm made my way through season 3 and I need to plow through 4 with 5 hitting Netflix in hopefully a month or two.  I'm truly marveled with how good television has become over the past few years.  In that regard, it's a remarkable time to be alive.

Ralphie May: Imperfectly Yours (2013)

Director: Anthony Pierce

Writer: Ralphie May

Starring: Ralphie May

More info: IMDb

Plot: Ralphie May's 2013 stand up special.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

His delivery's there and his heart seems like it's into it but where's the funny?  I don't think I laughed once and I REALLY fuckin' dig this guy.  I can't recall not ever seeing him not funny but here it is.  Geez I hope this was an isolated incident.  He did one stand up special each year from 2012 to 2015 and this was the second one in that string.  Maybe he needed more time to work on the material instead of spreading himself thin.  HA!  Listen to me, spreading himself thin.  

Get Bruce (1999)

Director: Andrew J. Kuehn

Composer: Michael Feinstein

Starring: Bruce Vilanch, Whoopi Goldberg, Bette Midler, Robin Williams, Nathan Lane, Lily Tomlin, Raquel Welch, Michael Feinstein, Shirley MacLaine, Florence Henderson, Steven Seagal, Michael Douglas, Paul Reiser, Danny Harris, Jenifer Lewis, Roseanne Barr, Carol Burnett, Jeff Margolis, Billy Crystal, Marc Shaiman, Tim Curry, Traci Lords, David Copperfield, Margaret Cho, Beverly D'Angelo, Ali MacGraw, Lauren Bacall

More info: IMDb

Tagline: When the superstars have to be funny, they...

Plot:  Affectionate tribute to Bruce Vilanch, who writes material for celebrities who make public appearances, from Oscar hosts and award recipients to Presidents. We meet his mom and see photos of his childhood; in Chicago, he writes for the Tribune and then heads West. Whoopi Goldberg, Billy Crystal, Robin Williams, and Bette Midler talk with him and to the camera about working with Bruce, and we also watch Bruce help others prepare for Liz Taylor's 60th, Bill Clinton's 50th, and an AIDS awards banquet where the hirsute, rotund Vilanch lets his emotions show.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again?  Sure.

Bruce Vilanch is a remarkably funny guy.  Did you see the incredible amount of names that showed up to talk about him?  That says something right there.  He's quick witted and very, very funny.  Sure, his t-shirts are a size too small but the man's got talent.  You might not know the name but there's a good chance you've seen him somewhere.  I can see watching this again.

Caged Heat (1974)

Director: Jonathan Demme

Writer: Jonathan Demme

Composer: John Cale

Starring: Juanita Brown, Roberta Collins, Erica Gavin, Ella Reid, Cheryl Smith, Warren Miller, Barbara Steele, Crystin Sinclaire, Mickey Fox

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Women's prison U.S.A. - Rape Riot and Revenge! White Hot Desires melting cold prison steel!

Plot: In a women's prison, a group of inmates band together to combat the repressive and abusive policies of the warden.

My rating:

Will I watch it again?  No.

Hey, kids!  From the future director and cinematographer that made SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (1991), it's a mediocre but something a little different entry in the Women in Prison (WIP) genre.  It's Jonathan Demme's first film and Tak Fujimoto's third.  We all have to start somewhere, right?   This Roger Corman produced trashy picture has some social value besides the abundance of nudity and shower scenes.  What does it have to say?  That there's a lot of fucked up shit that goes down in prison.  It's especially hard on the helpless.  But you're not going to watch this for that mess, right?  You're here for the T&A and Demme (who also wrote it) made sure there was plenty of that.  He also added some action in and out of the prison.  The ending was nice.  Watching this, it probably didn't hurt my experience knowing who Demme and Fujimoto were.  That had me looking at it through a different filter of sorts.  But they still had to make a film that lived up to the promise of the genre even if they did sneak in a little more than boobs, bush and butts.

Better Call Saul (2015) TV series

Creators: Vince Gilligan, Peter Gould

Composer: Dave Porter

Starring: Bob Odenkirk, Jonathan Banks, Rhea Seehorn, Patrick Fabian, Michael Mando, Michael McKean

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Make the call

Plot: The trials and tribulations of criminal lawyer, Jimmy McGill, in the time leading up to establishing his strip-mall law office in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

My rating: 8.5/10

Will I watch it again?  Yes.

I was late to the dance on seeing BREAKING BAD (2008) and didn't start it until shortly after the series ended.  I loved it but if a spin-off was going to happen, Saul was a great character to do it with.  I love this show.  Odenkirk sells the shit out of his character, Jimmy (who will later change his name to Saul).  I've only seen the first two seasons but it's one of those shows I can't get enough of.  I can't say enough about how wonderful it is to have Jonathan Banks back in his BB role of Mike.  I think it was episode 6 (Five-O) that's all about Mike and his past.  It's brilliant and probably my favorite episode so far.  I'm really impressed with Gilligan and Gould for creating a series that breaks from its predecessor and does its own thing while still maintaining the hard drama and moments of humor that BB achieved.  Waiting on season 3 to drop on Neflix has me jonesing to run through BB again.   This is great television.

Showdown at Boot Hill (1958)

Director: Gene Fowler Jr.

Writer: Louis Vittes

Composer: Albert Harris

Starring: Charles Bronson, Robert Hutton, John Carradine, Carole Mathews, Fintan Meyler, Paul Maxey, Thomas Browne Henry, William Stevens, Martin Smith, Joe McGuinn

More info: IMDb

Tagilne: A weapon in his hand made him Big....Powerful!

Plot: A deputy marshal kills a murderer in a town that loved him, and when no one is willing to identify him, he can't collect any reward.

My rating: 6.5/10

Will I watch it again?  Maybe.

BRONSON'S AGE: 37
LEVEL OF BADASSICITY (10 being the highest): 7

Bronson is a badass!

Good flick.  Bronson's got a chance to stretch his legs as an actor.  He's a badass, an honest man and a lover.  He's got the law on his side but the townspeople won't let up on him.  There's a little bit of action here and there with Luke (Bronson) defending himself against everything from a young upstart to an angry mob to a man with a stick.  That ending though...  I would've given the film a 7 but the confrontation at the end was so weak and anticlimactic that it felt like the writer said screw it.  It could've been handled better and with a little more excitement.  I get where Luke wanted to be and he was done with violence but still.  The confrontation was over within a few seconds and then cut to the loving embrace of the gal he loves.  The End 50s style.

So how badass was Bronson?  You definitely wouldn't want to fuck with him in this film.  He and I are the same height at 5'8.5" and all through the picture people comment on how short he is.  He does too, and it's the reason why he got so good with a gun and at killing mother fuckers that needed dead.  Now I can't prove any of this but I'm willing to bet that all of the scenes where people made some crack about his being short were all done on the last day because he probably put each one of them in the hospital as soon as the director yelled "cut".  Don't believe me?  Have you ever seen a film he made after this where someone mentioned his height?  Exactly. 

A Life in Dirty Movies (2013)

Original title: The Sarnos: A Life in Dirty Movies

Director: Wiktor Ericsson

Writer: Wiktor Ericsson

Composer: Bugge Wesseltoft

Starring: Joseph W. Sarno, Peggy Steffans, Michael Bowen, John Waters, Giulia D'Agnolo Vallan, Annie Sprinkle, Michael Raso, Jamie Gillis

More info: IMDb

Plot: A documentary shot at the end of pornographer Joe Sarnos's life, which reveals his attempt to make one last film, as well as his relationship with his wife, Peggy.

My rating: 6.5/10

Will I watch it again? No.

Fans of exploitation pictures should watch this, not because of the quality of the man's pictures but to get a lot of behind the scenes stories of making those pictures and of the sexploitation industry as it existed before and after hardcore pornography hit the scene in the early 70s.  This isn't an exciting and necessarily fun documentary but it is informative.  And because it's rather dry and slow and quiet, there's little replay value.  I've seen a few of his pictures.  Some were bad and some were good.  My favorites (so far - the man made over a hundred pictures) are SIN IN THE SUBURBS (1964) and THE DEVIL'S PLAYTHING (1973).  They're both good and fun in different ways. If you're unfamiliar with his work, don't just start watching anything.  Start with those two or his stuff from the 60s.  At least that's a blast from the past and watching sexploitation from more than 50 years ago can often be a treat just because of the recent ancient history.  Plus 1960s boobs were HOT (and so where 70s and 80s.  After that, boobs were...just different).

The Battle of the Damned (1969)

Original title: Quella Dannata Pattuglia

Director: Roberto Biacnhi Montero

Writers: Roberto Biacnhi Montero, Arpad DeRiso, Giovanni Scolaro

Composer: Marcello Giombini

Starring: Dale Cummings, Maurice Poli, Herb Andress, Lex Monson, Maurizio Tocchi, Fabio Testi, Luciano Catenacci

More info: IMDb

Plot: After landing in North Africa in World War II, a group of soldiers led by Capt. Bruce Clay is assigned to attack an enemy position in order to destroy a large oil storage cellar in the desert.

My rating: 5/10

Will I watch it again? No.

The first three and a half minutes is stock WWII footage.  Then it's people hanging around an Army base mixed in with people talking in meetings and Col. Bruce Clay (wow, that name doesn't roll off the tongue, does it) getting all romancy with his woman.  25 minutes our small group of soldiers is on the move in Jeeps across the desert for their mission.  Some things happen that delay them from reaching their target and that's an hour in when they get there.  Twenty three minutes to go.  It's a very slow watch and it's the pacing that killed it for me.  The characters are cliches and there's nothing done with them that makes me care about them or even like them more than I'd like any other humans.  They're the good guys so I'll like them for that reason but I'd switch sides if the Jerrys had nice personalities.  The action is of the run and gun type which is all mediocre.  It's average with nothing much to offer.

Making a Murderer (2015)

Directors: Moira Demos, Laura Ricciardi

Writers: Moira Demos, Laura Ricciardi

Starring: Dolores Avery, Steven Avery, Ken Kratz, Brendan Dassey

More info: IMDb

Plot: Filmed over a 10-year period, Steven Avery, a DNA exoneree who, while in the midst of exposing corruption in local law enforcement, finds himself the prime suspect in a grisly new crime. Viewers are taken inside a high-stakes criminal case where reputation is everything and things are never as they appear.

My rating: 8/10

Will I watch it again?  Yes.

At about ten hours total, this is a lot of watching but every episode is compelling true crime drama, the kind of which makes it hard not to watch it for hours at a time.  It's really good stuff.  I'm willing to take what the film throws out at face value but there were times that I questioned them.  It wasn't much.  The filmmakers did a fabulous job creating a narrative not only for an entire ten hours but also within the constraints of a one hour episode.  I was most impressed at how compelling the entire series was.  That had to be one tough nut to crack.  When it was all over, my take is that Steven Avery probably did it but he definitely and purposefully did not receive anything close to a fair trial and that Brendan Dassey was wrongfully coerced by the cops and his civil rights were horribly violated.  Season 2 is expected by the end of this year.  I wrote this nearly two months ago so here's hoping..

Barbarian Queen (1985)

Director: Hector Olivera

Writer: Howard R. Cohen

Composer: Christopher Young

Starring: Lana Clarkson, Katt Shea, Frank Zagarino, Dawn Dunlap, Susan Traverso, Victor Bo, Armando Capo, Andrea Barbieri

More info: IMDb

Tagline: No man can touch her naked steel

Plot: Set during the days of the Roman Empire. A simple village is raided by Roman troops, and most of the people are whisked off to be slaves or killed. Three women survive and set off to liberate their people. When they arrive at the Roman city, they team up with the local underground to seek vengeance and liberation of the slaves.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

Some old former warrior: We fight together.
Amethea: Until there's freedom enough...for all of us!
Crowd:  YAY!!!!

If you're reading this then I'm already dead.  Not really but if you are reading this then you can already tell what kind of flick you're in for.  It's cheesy 80s cornball CONAN wannabe territory with attractive women kicking ass and getting naked...a lot of naked.  It's just bad enough to be fun on that level yet it's surprisingly entertaining.  The nudity helps a lot but the pacing movies along nicely so as not to get bored (which surprised me) and there's plenty of action to satisfy that crowd.  What I dug, besides the borderline excessive amount of nudity, was the score by Christopher Young.  There's also music from James Horner borrowed from another picture but Young's score elevates this picture to something...less corny and it feels like the people who made this movie cared even though they knew they weren't making art.  Film score nerds will appreciate the theme that sounds way too much like one of the themes Jerry Goldsmith wrote for THE BLUE MAX (1966).  That's the kind of thing Horner did all the time so I'm going to attribute that one to him.  I have higher respect for Young to assume he ripped of Goldsmith so blatantly.  If you're looking for something on a Friday or Saturday night to watch with the gang and some beers, this is good entertainment.  Plus it's only 72 minutes long.  The director knew exactly what he was doing.

House of Cards (2013) TV series

Starring: Kevin Spacey, Robin Wright, Michael Kelly, Justin Doescher, Derek Cecil, Nathan Darrow, Mark Falvo, Jayne Atkinson, Lamont Easter, Mahershala Ali, Paul Sparks, Gary Ayash, Neve Campball, Gerald McRaney, Campbell Scott, Patricia Clarkson

More info: IMDb

Plot: A Congressman works with his equally conniving wife to exact revenge on the people who betrayed him.

My rating: 8/10

Will I watch it again?  Yes.

Seriously, watch the first five minutes and that's all you need to see if you're going to like this or not.  Those few minutes define what you're in for with such ease that it's brilliant.  This is great political drama.  It crosses the line every once in a while and challenges my suspension of disbelief but it's mostly grounded in what feels like reality.  Frank and Claire (Spacey and Wright) behave in ways that we suspect our elected politicians do but hope they don't.   The writing, acting, score, etc. are superb and except for one big thing, and all of that is consistent throughout the series (I've seen the entire show).  SPOILERS...  The show is at its best until Frank becomes President.  Then instead of his and Claire's hunger to do whatever it takes to get the top job, they now have to do whatever it takes to keep it.  That changes the dynamic and things get stranger and more complicated and, as a casualty, less interesting.  I guess you can attribute that to being "it's the journey, not the destination".  It's still a very good show and worth staying through to the end.

I wrote this up (and scheduled ahead) a couple of months ago, days after Spacey's sexual assault allegations went public.  Netflix suspended production of season six, the final season.  Netflix severed ties with Spacey.  It seems as if the show is dead but I'm optimistic they are simply taking a breather to regroup, re-write season six without Frank and continue for that final (or more) season.  The way season five ended it wouldn't be that difficult to have Frank killed off.  I can see a scenario where that could actually work to the show's benefit.  Or it could all be over just like that and five seasons is all we get.  Regardless, I still have the two seasons of the UK show this is based on plus three great seasons of this version and two very good seasons on top of that...and that's good.  Fuck you, Kevin Spacey, for being so good at your job and so horrible of a human being!

Who Saw Her Die? (1972)

Original title: Chi l'ha Vista Morire?

Director: Aldo Lado

Writers: Francesco Barilli, Massimo D'Avak

Composer: Ennio Morricone

Starring: George Lazenby, Anita Strindberg, Adolfo Celi, Dominique Boschero, Peter Chatel, Piero Vida, Jose Quaglio, Alessandro Haber, Nicoletta Elmi

More info: IMDb

Plot: A young girl is brutally murdered somewhere in France. Sometime later, the same thing happens to the daughter of a well-known sculptor. This time the parents (the sculptor and his wife) start investigating, and soon find they are in way over their head. Meanwhile, the body-count keeps rising as the killer now starts butchering all those who find out too much...

My rating: 6.5/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

Sweet!  George Lazenby starring in a Giallo (thriller) from '72!  Oh, wait, his voice was dubbed by someone else.  Damn it!  It's still a good flick.  Thanks to Ennio Morricone's unsettling main theme, this high body count whodunit set in Venice with a fine cast is more enjoyable than a lot of this genre that I've seen.  It's not a genre I'm fond of only because of the high rate of bad to mediocre films.  I'm getting picky with the ones I watch these days.  Anything with Lazenby is going to get shown in the Scorethefilm house.  Like a good Giallo, you get knifings, black gloves and nudity.  You also get a long list of suspects that get killed off one by one so you keep adjusting who you think the killer is until it's whittled down to a tight short list.  Don't look for greatness but you'll find a worthy entry into the genre.  Great score.  It's going to take a while to shake that reverb theme out of my noggin.

The Trojan Horse (1961)

Original title: La Guerra di Troia

Director: Giorgio Ferroni

Writers: Giorgio Ferroni, Ugo Liberatore, Giorgio Stegani, Federico Zardi

Composers: Mario Ammonini, Giovanni Fusco

Starring: Steve Reeves, Juliette Mayniel, John Drew Barrymore, Edy Vessel, Lidia Alfonsi, Warner Bentivegna, Luciana Angiolillo, Arturo Dominici

More info: IMDb 

Tagline: The World's Mightiest Man In The Mightiest Spectacle Ever Filmed.

Plot: A retelling of the events leading to the use of the Trojan Horse, to bring down the great city of Troy.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again? Probably not.

This Italian Sword & Sandal picture is pretty good.  It's got good production value plus it never hurts to have Steve Reeves as the ass-kicking lead badass.  There's A LOT of action in this flick.  It takes a while for the Trojan horse to make its way into the story (and even longer before you know what happens) but there's plenty to like up until then.  The battle scenes are smart enough to break up the massive amounts of soldiers slinging swords to include lots of close ups on some of them doing other things other than hand-to-hand combat.  I'm so used to seeing Reeves as a shirtless Hercules or whomever that it's weird seeing him spend most of the film with clothes on but he's still got that manly as shit beard plus, you know, the kicking everybody's ass stuff.  It's a good flick and I can see watching this again someday but not before revisiting some of the better films of the genre that's littered with mediocrity. 

The Seven Dwarfs of Auschwitz (2013)

Director: Ursula Macfarlane

Starring: Warrwick Davis, Perla Ovitz

More info: IMDb

Plot: Warwick Davis presents the story of the Owicz family and their ordeal during WWII. From a successful musical act to being tortuously experimented on by Dr. Josef Mengele in a concentration camp. This story might have been lost to history if it weren't for the family's diminutive size, which made them both a novelty as well as an inspiration.

My rating: 5/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

I'm only giving this a 5 because this documentary shed light on something of the Holocaust I was unaware of.  Otherwise I'd give it much less.  Why?  When watching a documentary I don't need to know how the narrator feels about the subject.  It's not Warrwick Davis's fault.  It's the filmmakers.  The subject is the Owicz family of seven dwarfs who were sent to Auschwiz to die.  Their ultimate fate is surprising to say the least. Far too much time is spent with Davis (serving as the narrator) as he journeys from one place to another discovering what he can about the family before, during and after the war.  Unfortunately we see Davis A LOT.  There's one point where he's being shown documents of the family's time in the camp and the camera is on Davis begging for a shot of him looking sad.  That's horrible and pathetic.  We learn more about Mengele and other things that aren't the family that it makes me wonder if the filmmakers really cared that much about the family instead of using them almost as a gimmick to frame a show around.  All of the time should've been spent talking about the family.  What's more, there's enough time not talking about them that you wonder if this is a two-parter (which it isn't).  I'm obviously very disappointed with this episode of PERSPECTIVES.  And I get it that the show's gimmick is that each episode is hosted by a well known celebrity as they talk about one topic that's close to them.  That's not lost on me.  I've not seen any other episodes but I can only hope that they don't have the same M.O. as this one as it focuses too much on the celebrity leaving less time to focus on what's really important.  Color me pissed.  I'm going to have some wine now if you'll excuse me...

Cave of Forgotten Dreams (2010)

Director: Werner Herzog

Writers: Werner Herzog, Judith Thurman

Composer: Ernst Reijseger

Starring: Werner Herzog, Jean Clottes, Julien Monney, Jean-Michel Geneste, Michel Philippe, Giles Tosello, Carole Fritz

More info: IMDb

Plot: Werner Herzog gains exclusive access to film inside the Chauvet caves of Southern France and captures the oldest known pictorial creations of humanity.

My rating: 7.5/10

Will I watch it again?  Yes.

Werner Herzog documentaries are something special.  His voice is very soothing and he tells interesting stories with his words and his camera.  This picture is gorgeous to watch and listen to.  Being inside these caves is special.  The ancient drawings are something to see.  That's the main attraction but they also explain a lot about the caves, the drawings and the people who made them.  It's a nice, quiet and meditative film about our ancient history.  I would love to see this in a huge theater.

God Bless America (2011)

Director: Bobcat Goldthwait

Writer: Bobcat Goldthwait

Composer: Matt Kollar

Starring: Joel Murray, tara Lynne Barr, Melinda Page Hamilton, Mackenzie Brooke Smith, Rich McDonald, Maddie Hasson, Larry Miller, Mo Gaffney

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Taking out the trash, one jerk at a time.

Plot: On a mission to rid society of its most repellent citizens, terminally ill Frank makes an unlikely accomplice in 16-year-old Roxy.

My rating: 8/10

Will I watch it again?  Yes.

Fuuuunnnnny!  I'm diggin' what Bobcat Goldthwait is doing with his pictures in the past few years.  The guys making movies I want to see.  This dark comedy has some of those odd moments that make movies delicious.  He's visualizing what a lot of us are thinking about.  Just shoot the mother fuckers that annoy you and live your life.  Enjoy yourself.  Have a Coke and a smile.  It's well paced and the jokes are plenty.  I don't recall seeing him before but Joel Murray (younger brother of Bill) is fucking hilarious.  He nails it.  It's an outrageous movie with a crazy silly premise but it works well.  I'm looking forward to seeing this again. 

Peep Show (2003) TV series

Creators: Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain, Andrew O'Connor

Writers: David Mitchell, Robert Webb, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain, Andrew O'Connor

Composer: Daniel Pemberton

Starring: David Mitchel Robert Webb, Matt King, Olivia Colman, Neil Fitzmaurice, Isy Suttie, Paterson Joseph, Sophie Winkleman, Jim Howick

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Welcome to the private world of Jeremy and Mark - two very ordinary weirdos.

Plot: Mark and Jez are a couple of twenty-something roommates who have nothing in common - except for the fact that their lives are anything but normal. Mayhem ensues as the pair strive to cope with day-to-day life.

My rating: 9.5/10

Will I watch it again?  And again, and again...

I don't have enough words to describe how much I love this show.  It was only a few short years ago that I got turned on and I never want to tune out.  It was hilarious from episode one.  The gimmick, if you can call it that, is that it's filmed in first person (hence Peep Show) but it's not just a gimmick.  Very quickly you get used to the filming style.  The comedy and chemistry between Webb & Mitchell takes care of that.  All of the characters on the show are wonderfully funny and creative.  Outside of M&W, two of my absolute favorites, though I love them all, are Matt King as Super Hans and Paterson Joseph as Alan Johnson.  I've never seen characters like them and what those actors bring to the characters is priceless.  When Season 9 debuted in November 2015 I was so pleased and I've been hoping for a season 10 ever since.  But, when on YouTube looking for a suitable clip for this post, I found a video from two years ago of an hour long interview with the two guys saying season 9 was the last one.  Now I'm sad.  At least I've got 54 episodes (27 hours) of fun whenever I'm ready.  I've already watched it at least twice through and I'm about ready to start again.  I'm just sad that there probably won't be any further adventures of the El Dude Brothers.  Here's hoping for a special every once in a while.

Frankenstein's Army (2013)

Director: Richard Raaphorst

Writers: Richard Raaphorst, Miguel Tejada-Flores, Chris W. Mitchell

Composer: Reyn Ouwehand

Starring: Robert Gwilym, Hon Ping Tang, Alexander Mercury, Luke Newberry, Joshua Sasse, Mark Stevenson, Andrei Zayats, Karel Roden, Klaus Lucas, Cristina Catalina

More info: IMDb

Plot: Toward the end of World War II, Russian soldiers pushing into eastern Germany stumble across a secret Nazi lab, one that has unearthed and begun experimenting with the journal of one Dr. Victor Frankenstein. The scientists have used the legendary Frankenstein's work to assemble an army of super-soldiers stitched together from the body parts of their fallen comrades -- a desperate Hitler's last ghastly ploy to escape defeat.

My rating: 5.5/10

Will I watch it again? No.

I love the concept but jesus fucking christ, stop it with the fucking shaky cam already.  The film is graded dark and it's at its worst in the first twenty or more minutes until the Rooskies leave the dreary landscape to the underground bunker where all the goodness starts.  The creature effects are outstanding.  They are freaky as shit.  There's lots of gore, too.  There's a lot of first person footage which gets old very fast.  It's not until minutes from the end did the camera stand still for a while.  That was welcome but the movie was almost over.  I dug the ending but it's the usual thanks but you're too late.  I already checked out.  I REALLY wanted to like this.  It could've been so much better but I'm one of these guys that's getting tired of the shaky cam and grading the color darker.  And the thing is, it didn't have to be that way.  Not for this one.

The Search for General Tso (2014)

Director: Ian Cheney

Writer: Ian Cheney

Composer: Simon Beins

Starring: Ian Cheney

More info: IMDb

Plot: Who was General Tso, and why are we eating his chicken? This feature documentary explores the origins and ubiquity of Chinese-American food through the story of an iconic sweet and spicy chicken dish.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again? No.

Would you believe that there is someone out there that is a lifelong collector of Chinese takeout menus?  That's just one of many curious things you'll learn from this documentary.  So who is General Tso?  Some general in 19th Century China who was against letting the West (Europeans, Americans) into the country.  So how hilarious is it that this most popular chicken dish is named after him.  I can appreciate that.  Once the film answers that question the mission is not to find out who created the dish and how did it permeate Western Chinese restaurants so widely and quickly.  They trace the development of Chinese restaurants in the US and how its popularity grew.  I like the dish but only when it's done with a lighter and spicier touch.  There's only one place in my town that I'll eat it.  It's not good anywhere else.  I'm sure a lot of us have asked the question of who Tso was and what his relationship is with fried small chunks of chicken then this is the picture for you...and you won't have the desire to see it again two hours after you watch it.  But seriously, it's an entertaining film that gets a lot from its subject and has fun with it.

The Homesman (2014)

Director: Tommy Lee Jones

Writers: Tommy Lee Jones, Kieran Fitzgerald, Wesley A. Oliver, Glendon Swarthout

Composer: Marco Beltrami

Starring: Tommy Lee Jones, Hilary Swank, Grace Gummer, Miranda Otto, Sonja Richter, Jo Harvey Allen, Barry Corbin, David Dencik, William Fichtner, John Lithgow, Tim Blake Nelson, James Spader, Hailee Steinfeld, Meryl Streep

More info: IMDb

Tagline: The untold story of The West.

Plot: Three women who have been driven mad by pioneer life are to be transported across the country by covered wagon by the pious, independent-minded Mary Bee Cuddy, who in turn employs low-life drifter George Briggs to assist her.

My rating: 8/10

Will I watch it again?  Yes.

Great flick.  Tommy Lee Jones delivers the goods in spades.  He shows the West how harsh it was and it was a hell of a lot harsher on the women.  Jesus they had it rough.  I like his no nonsense approach, letting the film casually unfold into a calm wave of uneasiness.  Jones brings a little humor to his role just by being an ornery old bastard.  Something happens two thirds in that kicked me in the guts.  If it hadn't been for everything that was so carefully built up to 'till then it wouldn't have had the same impact.  The cast is superb, especially to Swank and Jones.  Wow!  Just wow!

Death and Diamonds (1968)

Director: harald Reinl

Writers: Gustav H. Lubbe, Rolf Schulz, Christa Stern

Composer: Peter Thomas

Starring: George Nader, Heinz Weiss, Silvia Solar, Claus Holm, Marlies Drager, Karlheinz Fiege, Gunther Schramm, Dieter Eppler, Kathe Haack

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Vorsicht Jerry, sonst gehst du hoch

Plot: Agent Jerry Cotton infiltrates a big crime syndicate that is planning a major diamond heist.

My rating: 6.5/10

Will I watch it again? No.

George Nader is charismatic and I can see why this series lasted 8 films.  This is the 5th.  It's by no means a classic but with a bouncy score, good camerawork and Nader as the suave badass FBI super agent you end up with something that's pretty fun.  The plot serves the picture well enough but it's not reaching for stars with great dialogue or an egotistic super villain.  The bad guy here is just a super criminal wanting to steal some diamonds but in a ridiculously crazy way.  The action is sprinkled throughout and not once was I bored but there was one time where I about lost my shit.  Watch this!

Holy shit, right!  There's a big car chase at the end and that scene is just the beginning.  It's a good looking picture and it plays better than some Eurospy movies.  I'm thinking Eurospy because Cotton is a super agent going undercover.  This also qualifies for Eurocrime.  These over the top pictures were all the rage in the 60s.  I rather like them.

Soul Soldier (1970)

Original title: The Red, White, and Black


Director: John 'Bud' Cardos

Composer: Stu Phillips

Starring: Robert DoQui, Issac Fields, Barbara Hale, Rafer Johnson, Lincoln Kilpatrick, Isabel Sanford, Janee Michelle, Robert Dix, Byrd Holland, Cesar Romero

More info: IMDb

Tagline: SABER CHARGE was the cry of the Black Cavalry

Plot: They were black troopers who fought and killed the red man for a white government that didn't give a damn about either one!

My rating: 3/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

Jesus this movie is dreadful.  The trailer actually looks great compared to the movie.  It's bad, from the acting, script, pacing and on and on.  It doesn't take long at all to notice how amateurish this is.  What surprised me most is how Cesar Romero got roped into this.  I was hoping for something historical but it's nothing but a cheap, shoddy production that ruins an opportunity to show audiences what the real men faced.  Director Cardos wasn't known for quality pictures.  This was his first film.  I submit to the court exhibit A.

Video Games: The Movie (2014)

Director: Jeremy Snead

Writer: Jeremy Snead

Composer: Craig Richey

Starring: Sean Astin, Zach Braff, Wil Wheaton, Chris Hardwick, Max Landis and tons of people in the VG industry

More info: IMDb

Plot: Learn how video games are made, marketed, and consumed by looking back at gaming history and culture through the eyes of game developers, publishers, and consumers.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again?  I doubt it.

As a fan of video games and having played them since the 70s, this was fun.  It's by no means complete and it was odd how many consoles weren't discussed like one of my childhood favorites, the Commodore 64 plus some of the systems pre NES that aren't the Atari 2600.  That's my biggest complaint.  For some that's probably enough to call bullshit.  I realize you can't cover everything in an hour and forty minutes but they could've at least spent a minute on each.  There's enough material that you could make a feature length documentary on every single console made.  I'd watch all of them.  Despite those oversights, I still enjoyed it.  At the very least it was a nostalgic trip and it's fun seeing some games I haven't played in decades.  You clearly can't get too deep into a vast industry that's been around for more than forty five years but it's good enough that you may find some enjoyment and not feel like your time was wasted...like, you know, playing video games.

The Station Agent (2003)

Director: Tom McCarthy

Writer: Tom McCarthy

Composer: Stephen Trask

Starring: Peter Dinklage, Paul Benjamin, Jase Blakfort, Paula Garces, Josh Pais, Richard Kind, Bobby Cannavale, Patricia Clarkson

More info: IMDb

Plot: When his only friend dies, a man born with dwarfism moves to rural New Jersey to live a life of solitude, only to meet a chatty hot dog vendor and a woman dealing with her own personal loss.

My rating: 7.5/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

When I saw this a couple of years ago it was the first performance I'd seen of Dinklage outside of GAME OF THRONES (2011) and it was right after that I found out he was American.  The crap you learn in weird ways.  This independent film is delightful.  It's rather quiet and relaxing to a degree for a lighthearted drama.  I appreciate the casual pacing and tone.  Dinklage plays Finbar with such reserve.  Cannavale is a hoot.  Good flick.

No No: A Dockumentary (2014)

Director: Jeff Radice

Composer: Adam Horovitz

Starring: Dock Ellis, Larry Demery, Ron Howard

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Just Say No No!

Plot: In the 1970s Dock Ellis pitched a no-hitter on LSD and his outspoken style courted conflict and controversy, but his latter years were spent helping others recover from addiction.

My rating: 7.5/10

Will I watch it again?  Yes.

Knowing nothing about Ellis or his pitching a no-hitter while hopped up on LSD, just hearing about that one thing was enough for me to give this a shot.  I like sports but I don't watch them or follow them but this is a fascinating film about an equally fascinating subject.  It's funny, shocking and very emotional.  I was a bit of a mess by the end but with happiness, not sadness.  Check this one out.  It's still on Netflix after more than two and a half years.  I know because that's how far I'm behind in writing about the shit I've seen since then.

My 5 Wives (2000)

Director: Sidney J. Furie

Writers: Rodney Dangerfield, Harry Basil

Composer: Robert Carli

Starring: Rodney Dangerfield, Andrew Dice Clay, John Byner, Molly Shannon, Jerry Stiller, John Pinette, Rob deLeeuw, Fred Keating

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Never has one man had to do so much with so little.

Plot: Monte Peterson, a rich real-estate developer, is going through his third divorce. His friend Ray has found a good site for a ski resort in Utah, and Monte comes to bid on the land, competing with local banker Preston Gates. Monte knew that, in order to take possession of the land, he would have to convert to the local religion, a sort of cross between Mormonism and Amish (no smoking, no drinking, bigamy and simple living/dressing encouraged). What he didn't know was that the deed to the land also included the three wives of the deceased former owner. He also buys another plot, and the two wives that come with it, in part because they are much better cooks. Gates, meanwhile, wants the land to build an Indian casino, and is mixed up with some mobsters. There's a trip to Las Vegas, a female-empowerment seminar, a jailbreak, and other complications too absurd to mention.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again?  Probably not.

I think if you're a fan of Dangerfield then you're likely to watch this regardless of how bad it looks and it's because of him that this is at least worth a look.  He's great as always.  Some of the jokes write themselves but when it's Rodney delivering them I'm going to laugh every time.  That man was comedy gold.  It doesn't hurt that you've got a great cast that includes Clay, Byner, Shannon, Stiller and Pinette.  They're all worth a lot of laughs.  It's a silly story and the comedy is cheap but then it's Rodney and he'll get a pass for doing dumbass movies every time.  Having said all of that, who's idea was it to turn this into 100 minutes?

Hell on Wheels (2011) TV series

Creators: Joe Gayton, Tony Gayton

Composer: Kevin Kiner

Starring: Anson Mount, Colm Meaney, Robin McLeavy, Phil Burke, Christopher Heyerdahl, Dohn Norwood, Common, Kasha Kropinski, Tom Noonan, Dominique McElligott

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Blood will be spilled. Lives will be lost. Men will be ruined.

Plot: Cullen Bohannon, a former soldier and slaveholder, follows the track of a band of Union soldiers, the killers of his wife. This brings him to the middle of one of the biggest projects in US history, the building of the transcontinental railroad. After the war years in the 1860s, this undertaking connected the prospering east with the still wild west.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

I wanted to like this.  I really did.  Being a HUGE fan of Westerns, getting a high budget TV series felt like it was my birthday...until I watched it.  I wanted to stop after the first couple of episodes but I kept going and gave up after the sixth.  The characters did nothing for me.  Cullen (Mount) is the guy I'm supposed to be rootin' for but he and several of the others were so bland I couldn't get behind them.  I've heard the show is good until season three when it went off the rails and it was all downhill from there but I can't even get that far.  Does the second half of season one get better?  I'd still like to believe that it does because I REALLY dig this kind of shit but not this show.  

Stitches (2012)

Director: Conor McMahon

Writers: Conor McMahon, David O'Brien

Composer: Paul McDonnell

Starring: Ross Noble, Tommy Knight, Shane Murray-Corcoran, Gemma-Leah Devereux, Thommas Kane Bymes, Eoghan McQuinn, Roisin Barron, Hugh Mulhern, Tommy Cullen, Jemma Curran

More info: IMDb

Tagline: You'll Die Laughing

Plot: A clown comes back from the dead to haunt those who took his life during a fatal party mishap.

My rating: 7.5/10

Will I watch it again?  Yes.

The first twelve minutes is utterly amazing.  It's hilarious, tragic and cring-inducing...and then hilarious again.  And when you've got dialogue like when an outside clown tells the kid, "...a clown who doesn't finish his party act can never rest and a joke is never funny the second time 'round.".  It's even funnier when that scene pops up.  It's another half hour before Stitches is back but this time he's got a score to settle.  From here on out he picks off victims one by one and with hilarious results.  There is a lot of great gore with dismemberments, explosions, scooping out brains and demented tricks.  The kills are great and the ending is just as fun and funny as what came before it.  If there's one Irish clown horror comedy you'll see before you die, make it this one.  I'm really surprised there hasn't been a sequel.  McMahon's only made one feature since this picture and that was three years ago?  What the hell, bub?  This guy's got talent and I'm surprised no one is taking advantage of it. 

Challenge of the MacKennas (1970)

Original title: La Sfida dei MacKenna

Director: Leon Klimovsky

Writers: Pedro Gil Paradela, Leon Klimovsky, Edoardo Mulargia, Antonio Viader

Composer: Francesco De Masi

Starring: Robert Woods, John Ireland, Annabella Incontrera, Roberto Camardiel, Mariano Vidal Molina, Daniela Giordano, Giovanni Cianfriglia, Attilio Dottesio, Sergio Mendizabal

More info: IMDb

Plot: An American drifter becomes involved in a deadly family dispute. A powerful Mexican rancher orders the killing of his daughter's boyfriend. Jones earns the wrath of the father when he finds the body and buries it.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

This above average Spaghetti Western stars two prolific lead actors of the genre, Robert Woods and John Ireland.  Everyone does a fine job.  I kind of dug Ireland's character, Jones.  He's got that I don't give a shit attitude that's kind of fun.  He's got no place to go so this place is as good as any.  He's washed up and he's just biding his time.  That is until shit drags him into the middle of it and he's forced into a corner.  He still maintains that attitude but he provides action when he needs to.  I also liked his relationship with Barbara (Molina), at least I think that was her name.  The ending was nice, leaving Jones in the same position he was in 90 minutes earlier.  Francesco De Masi's score is standard issue Spaghetti Western music, neither bad nor memorable but serviceable.  It's just a slow go throughout much of the picture. 

Lawless (2012)

Director: John Hillcoat

Writers: Nick Cave, Matt Bondurant

Composers: Nick Cave, Warren Ellis

Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Tom Hardy, Jason Clarke, Guy Pearce, Jessica Chastain, Mia Wasikowska, Dane DeHaan, Chris McGarry, Tim Tolin, Gary Oldman, Lew Temple

More info: IMDb

Tagline: When the law became corrupt, outlaws became heroes.

Plot: Set in Depression-era Franklin County, Virginia, a trio of bootlegging brothers are threatened by a new special deputy and other authorities angling for a cut of their profits.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

What the hell is up with Guy Pearce's accent?  This might be the first time I didn't like Pearce's performance.  And I didn't care for Hardy, LaBeouf or Chastain.  Oldman was good, though.  It's an OK movie but it felt like a missed opportunity all the way around.  This era is so rich with history and aesthetic that it's a shame to let something potentially compelling get cocked up by bland acting (when folks aren't overacting) and the director's fondness for the color brown (including the overuse of grading the film in shades of brown as if the world was transitioning from black and white on it's way to color by way of sepia tone).  It's a shame this was so disappointing.  I wanted to like this.  I expected more from the creative team who brought us the brilliant THE PROPOSITION (2005).  That reminds me I haven't seen that in years.  It's time to dust of the Blu-ray.

Swearnet: The Movie (2014)

Director: Wareen P. Sonoda

Writers: Mike Smith, John Paul Tremblay, Robb Wells

Composer: Blain Morris

Starring: Mike Smith, John Paul Tremblay, Robb Wells, Patrick Roach, Tom Green, Scott 'Carrot Top' Thompson, Mishael Morgan, Sarah Jurgens, Shannon Leroux, Dana Michael Woods, Sebastian Bach, John Dunsworth, Tom Green

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Because people f#@king swear.

Plot: Fed up with being censored in their post-Trailer Park Boys lives, the out of work stars/world-renowned 'swearists', Mike Smith, Robb Wells and John Paul Tremblay decide to start their own uncensored network on the internet.

My rating: 8/10

Will I watch it again?  Yes.

I fucking LOVE THE TRAILER PARK BOYS and this picture is the first thing I've seen the guys in where they weren't playing their characters from TPB.  It's fucking hilarious.  There are a lot of laughs and wild shit.  And the ending is piss in public funny as shit.  It's a little jarring seeing the boys out of character, especially Mike Smith as Bubbles.  Tom Green and Carrot Top are a lot of fun.  If you're not familiar with TPB then I can't say how much you'd dig this but it's a Netflix movie and so is the show so check out the first season first.  I love spending time with these guys and I hope they never stop doing whatever it is they want to do. 

Atari: Game Over (2014)

Director: Zak Penn

Composer: Stephen Endelman

Starring: Zak Penn, Joe Lewandowski, Robert Rentschler, Paul Sanchez, Manny Gerard, Nolan Bushnell, Seamus Blackley, Howard Scott Warshaw, Son Huffmon, Pat Magill, Mike Mika, Susie Galea, Andrew Reinhard, Raiford Guins, Ernest Cline, George R.R. Martin, Gary Whitta

More info: IMDb

Tagline: 32.886668 N, 105.967336 W

Plot: A crew digs up all of the old Atari 2600 game cartridges of "E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial" that were tossed into a landfill in the 1980s.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again?  I doubt it.

In short, what good there is in this documentary is the history of Atari up to the point the E.T. game came out and it's aftermath without touching on the consoles other than the 2600.  Hearing from the people that made that company and created the games was such a joy for this kid of the 70s and 80s who played on their machine like a fat kid loves cake.  I ate these portions up.  I really wasn't concerned much if the filmmakers were going to find the rumored dump spot where thousands of games might have been buried thirty years ago.  And I certainly didn't care about any of the people in the film that journeyed to AZ to find out.  A just over an hour long, I would've preferred two hours of an in-depth look into how Atari came to be and about everything they did without being bothered by the fluffy stuff at the landfill.  All of that said, video game fans, especially those who played on Ataris as a kid, should watch this.  About a half hour of it brings back a rush of memories.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)

Director: Rian Johnson

Writer: Rian Johnson

Composer: John Williams

Starring: Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Andy Serkis, Domhnall Gleeson, Gwendoline Christie, Billie Lourd, Laura Dern, Oscar Isaac, Benicio Del Toro

More info: IMDb

Plot: Having taken her first steps into the Jedi world, Rey joins Luke Skywalker on an adventure with Leia, Finn and Poe that unlocks mysteries of the Force and secrets of the past.

My rating: 6.5/10

Will I watch it again?  Yes.

NO SPOILERS HERE

In a word?  Disappointment.  After the copious cribbing THE FORCE AWAKENS (2015) took from STAR WARS (1977) regarding major plot points, I was worried they'd do the same thing with this one but with THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK (1980).  They didn't.  There's a silly scene in the beginning of this picture that feels out of place in a STAR WARS movie and more at home with something like SPACEBALLS (1987) and that bothered me.  It didn't take long before I realized that this film isn't thinking about fans like me who were there in '77 but more about the much younger fans.  It hurts in some small way but such as life.  Some of the funny business in this film works and some of it doesn't.  If you've seen it then you might know what I'm talking about.  Like in JUSTICE LEAGUE (2017), which I saw yesterday, some of the humor is forced and it doesn't fit in naturally.  That's only one problem this film has.

Two characters take a side mission that ultimately could've been handled in seconds in what took them many, many minutes.  The movie is two and a half hours long, the longest in the franchise, so the only logical reason that little adventure existed was to give so and so something to do.  It also allows Maz Kanata to show up for a couple of minutes for an unnecessary cameo.  For as much time as Luke has on screen I wanted so much more.  He's got some nice moments but ultimately he's underused.  I get that Rey and Kylo are the focus but it's almost disgraceful how little the top brass at Lucasfilm care about Luke and Leia in what they've been relegated to become in this new trilogy.  I've got so much more to say and I'd love to talk to someone about it.  I didn't expect to see it tonight and it was practically a last minute thing.  I'd already obligated myself to see it with some friends and also with Mrs. Scorethefilm so I've got two more views coming my way.  I hope it's like how it was with AWAKENS in that I found it more enjoyable on repeat viewings.  The weakest link in the film is the screenplay.  It's got too much filler, comedy and some unusual language that doesn't feel at home in this universe (count how many times characters say "snuffed out" and "godspeed").  And too many things happen only because "this will look cool".  Remember how EMPIRE didn't rely on any of that?  I still don't own a copy of that movie and I don't plan on getting this one.

Oh, and I almost forgot.  In one of the funniest moments of the film, there's actually a great HARDWARE WARS (1978) reference.  I'd like to shake whoever's hand who came up with that one.