Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Barbarian Queen (1985)

Director: Hector Olivera

Writer: Howard R. Cohen

Composer: Christopher Young

Starring: Lana Clarkson, Katt Shea, Frank Zagarino, Dawn Dunlap, Susan Traverso, Victor Bo, Armando Capo, Andrea Barbieri

More info: IMDb

Tagline: No man can touch her naked steel

Plot: Set during the days of the Roman Empire. A simple village is raided by Roman troops, and most of the people are whisked off to be slaves or killed. Three women survive and set off to liberate their people. When they arrive at the Roman city, they team up with the local underground to seek vengeance and liberation of the slaves.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

Some old former warrior: We fight together.
Amethea: Until there's freedom enough...for all of us!
Crowd:  YAY!!!!

If you're reading this then I'm already dead.  Not really but if you are reading this then you can already tell what kind of flick you're in for.  It's cheesy 80s cornball CONAN wannabe territory with attractive women kicking ass and getting naked...a lot of naked.  It's just bad enough to be fun on that level yet it's surprisingly entertaining.  The nudity helps a lot but the pacing movies along nicely so as not to get bored (which surprised me) and there's plenty of action to satisfy that crowd.  What I dug, besides the borderline excessive amount of nudity, was the score by Christopher Young.  There's also music from James Horner borrowed from another picture but Young's score elevates this picture to something...less corny and it feels like the people who made this movie cared even though they knew they weren't making art.  Film score nerds will appreciate the theme that sounds way too much like one of the themes Jerry Goldsmith wrote for THE BLUE MAX (1966).  That's the kind of thing Horner did all the time so I'm going to attribute that one to him.  I have higher respect for Young to assume he ripped of Goldsmith so blatantly.  If you're looking for something on a Friday or Saturday night to watch with the gang and some beers, this is good entertainment.  Plus it's only 72 minutes long.  The director knew exactly what he was doing.

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