Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare (1987)

Director: John Fasano

Starring: Jon Mikl Thor, Jillian Peri, Frank Dietz, David Lane, Teresa Simpson, Adam Fried, Denise Dicandia, Jesse D'Angelo

More info: IMDb

Tagline: When you raise Hell ... the Devil must be paid - in full!

Plot: At an old farmhouse, a family mysteriously disappears at the hands of evil. Years later, hair metal band The Tritons come to the farmhouse, whose barn now features a 24-track recording studio. Lead singer John Triton gets the band to perform their first night in the farmhouse after dinner, weird little beasties suddenly appear, and strange things start to happen. The band members (and their tag along girlfriends) begin to act strangely and vanish one by one. Soon, only John Triton remains, and he holds a secret. Finally, the evil shows itself and a battle between heaven and hell ensues.

My rating: 5.5/10

Will I watch it again? No.

Oh how this could have been so much better in more qualified hands.  It's only an hour and eighteen minutes long (plus another five for the end credits) but it feels like twice that.  Some of the line deliveries are so bad that I'd pay a hefty price to see the ones they didn't use.  The sex scenes are clumsy and show very little nudity, if any.  There are some music numbers thrown in by the band to pad the time and there's some fun(ny) puppet effects that feel out of place sometimes.  If you could trim this down a bit this might be more easily watchable.  I watched it with a bunch of friends and that can only help so much but the movie's biggest downfall is the stretches of boredom.  Cut this picture in half and it's so-bad-it's-good.  As it stands it's just sporadically so-bad-it's-good and dull.  It's more like ROCK 'N' ROLL NAPTIME.

If you want some great Thor action, then check this out.  I've watched this countless times and it never gets old.  I'd love to have seen this guy's act from 35 years ago.  That would be epic.

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