Machete Kills (2013)

Director: Robert Rodriguez

Writers: Kyle Ward, Robert Rodriguez, Marcel Rodriguez

Composers: Robert Rodriguez, Carl Thiel

Starring: Danny Trejo, Mel Gibson, Demian Bichir, Amber Heard, Michelle Rodriguez, Sofia Vergara, Charlie Sheen, Lady Gaga, Antonio Bandaras, Walton Goggins, Cuba Gooding Jr., Vanessa Hudgens, Alexa Vega, Marko Zaror, Tom Savini, William Sadler, Jessica Alba

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Trained to kill. Left for dead. Back for more.

Plot: The U.S. government recruits Machete to battle his way through Mexico in order to take down an arms dealer who looks to launch a weapon into space.

My rating: 7.5/10

Will I watch it again? Yes.  Consider the Blu-ray purchased already.

Don't forget to take your red/blue 3D glasses.

Did you FUCKING LOVE the first MACHETE (2010) as much as I did?  And you couldn't fucking wait for the sequel that was promised back when GRINDHOUSE (2007) hit the scene?  Well, it's FINALLY here.  Hold your horses.  It's not as good as MACHETE but it's still a fucking great ride...when it works.  The only problem I have with KILLS is that it takes forever for Machete to get to the border with Mendez and there's not much interesting that happens for a good half hour during that sequence. It's hit and miss at best.  The reason why that section is slow because the picture opens with a bang, the slow bits happen and then Mel Fucking Gibson makes the scene and it's fucking on from then until the end.  The shit that goes down is off the charts.  Gibson is having the time of his life and, as a consequence, so are we.  There are some GREAT STAR WARS references (and a STAR TREK one, too) which are fucking hilarious.

The character El Camaleon is fucking hilarious.  It starts with Walton Goggins and continues through a few familiar faces.  DO NOT look at the IMDb page before seeing the picture if you want to stay spoiler free.  I'm glad I went into this fresh except for seeing the trailers.  Everyone does a great job and there are a ton of laughs and great kills.  Pay close attention to the trailer that precedes the feature for MACHETE KILLS AGAIN...IN SPACE.  Not only is it fucking hilarious as well, it plays a part in the fun of KILLS.  You're going to love the trailer.  There is so much to like about this film but the only, and I mean ONLY drawback, is that slow section mentioned earlier. Sheen fucking owns the Presidency, by the way.  This flick might improve on a repeat viewing but I'm going to save that for the Blu-ray.  I watched GRAVITY (2013) earlier the same day and that's going to be a definite repeat at the theater.  It's fucking intense.  That said, I can't wait another three years for Machete in space.  I need it next year, Mr. Rodriguez, and there's a crisp twenty dollar bill in it for you if you can deliver it that soon.