Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

Director: Tobe Hooper

Starring: Dennis Hopper, Caroline Williams, Jim Siedow, Bill Moseley, Bill Johnson, Ken Evert

More info: IMDb

Tagline: After a decade of silence... The buzzz is back!

Plot: A radio host is victimized by the cannibal family as a former Texas Marshall hunts them.

My rating: 3/10

Will I watch it again? No.

#209 on Drive-In Delirium Vol. 1 (Part of the Trailer Trash Project)

How could someone make something so wrong as a sequel to something that was so right? This was embarrassing. If I just took this on the merits of a standard horror movie from the 80s I'd probably just give it a 5/10. As a sequel to one of the greatest horror movies ever made, it's no more than a 3/10. WTF, Tobe? It's painful from start to finish...especially the beginning. The two lowlife preppies take FOREVER before they're killed. Hooper labors the point that they need to die and then takes forever to kill them.

Dennis Hopper's character is too silly for words. Hell, the only person I dug was Williams as the radio DJ (who turns out to be Hopper's illegitimate child!!! Why? Beats the fuck out of me.) She was good. The music is just horrible. Listen for yourself...

It's ridiculous. There must be 85 themes in the opening credits alone, as if some kid with a severe case of ADD was farting around with a Casio keyboard. UGH! If I didn't know better I'd think this was made by Troma. I'm just stupefied that this is all Tobe Hooper could muster up for a sequel to his original film. I know it's nearly impossible to best it but at least he could have done ANYTHING besides this and it most certainly would've been better. And to think I paid $3 for this at Big Lots. Oh, the humanity. At least Tom Savini's makeup effects were great.

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