Satan's Children (1975)

Director: Joe Wiezycki

Starring: Stephen White, Eldon Mecham, Joyce Molloy, Kathleen Marie Archer, Roesmary Orlando, Bob Barbour, Robert C. Ray II, John Edwards

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Devil worshipping has changed them into ...

Plot: Bobby is a gangly, redheaded teen living Cinderella-style with a sexy, teasing stepsister and a cruel stepfather who makes him do yard work. He runs away, unsure of where to go, and is abducted and gang-raped by a group of macho, beer-swilling homosexuals. They dump him off (in his underwear, which is all he wears for the rest of the film) on the side of the road, where a group of long-haired, volleyball-tossing Satanists discover him and take him back to their commune to nurse him back to health. This causes a schism in the leadership of the group since homosexuality is looked down on as disgusting and weak by Satan, so several hangings ensue and the girl who has fallen for poor Bobby (who is in too much pain to move from the bed) is buried up to her neck and covered with ants. It's up to Bobby to find the inner strength to escape the Satanists and then return to save his lady love; in the process he exacts gory revenge against all who have abused him and begins a new life worshipping under the shadow of the Lord of This Earth.

My rating: 5.5/10

Will I watch it again? The more I think about it the more I just might.

You know how there's a group of assholes in America that believe "God Hates Fags"? Well, apparently Satan hates them, too. That was the strangest thing that came out of this picture. It's not like they mentioned it once or something. They bring it up a lot. Very bizarre. Anyway, here's one of those low budget horror pictures that sort of works because of it.

Meet Bobby and his bitch of a step-sister, Janis.

Simon (seated), much like Satan, hates the gays (standing)!

There's a surprising lack of music throughout most of the picture which hurts it. What little there is is pretty groovy. Our hero, Bobby (White), is in his underwear for just about the entire film. Simon (Ray) is Satan's mouthpiece and he's got as much charisma as that thing you put on the underside of a chair leg to keep it from scratching your good floor. Bobby's step-sister, Janis (played beautifully evil by Joyce Molloy) is a real bitch and his asshole step-father (Mecham) get what's coming to them but you'll have to wait for the wonderfully explosive ending to find out what happens. (OK, Bobby kidnaps Janis and Satan's gang crucify her in the final shot...AND IT'S FUCKING AWESOME!!!).

(that's not Janis, btw)

There's a good forty minutes in the middle that get pretty slow (which isn't helped by the lack of music) with dragging out scenes and making Bobby's escape and chase much longer than it needed to be (but there are some really fun things happening in that sequence). Overall it's a fun ride but don't get too excited. It comes on a Something Weird double feature with a lesser film, William Girdler's ASYLUM OF SATAN (1972), along with the 30-minute flick, SOUL SNATCHER (1965), lots of appropriately themed trailers and a B&W striptease dance called, SATAN'S DANCE. The sum of all of its parts makes for a fun night but only once you get past the dreadfully dull AoS.