Tuesday, September 30, 2008

1990: The Bronx Warriors (1982)

Director: Enzo G. Castellari

Starring: Vic Morrow, Fred Williamson, and a SHITLOAD of cheesy, gay costumed gangs

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: A Heavy Metal Journey Into An Urban Hell Where Everything Was Done Wrong!

Plot: In a post-apocalyptic New York City, a policeman infiltrates the Bronx, which has become a battleground for several murderous street gangs.

My Rating: 4

Would I watch it again? Not likely

Featured on Stephen Romano Presents Shock Festival (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)

Well, if you like your post-apocalyptic movies loaded with Italian cheese then this might be right up your alley. Every gang in this picture has it's own theme song and they all suck. The gangs are all dressed horribly bad, nothing like real gangs would dress like, and they're all so fucking lame. There's even one gang that look like they're all Bob Fosse impersonators! You half expect some West Side Story music to drop and everyone suddenly breaks out into dance for the big fight. Vic Morrow's picking up a paycheck on this one, that and a case of whiskey. Fred Williamson somehow manages to look silly. How do you get Fred "Badass" Williamson to look gay? Put him smack in the middle of this movie and wait. The poster'll give you a hint.

I digs me some Italian trash but this one just didn't entertain me enough to recommend. It tried. I tried. We both failed. But it's still a fuckmore entertaining than SGT. PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND (1978).

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