Sunday, March 6, 2011

Nazi Sex Experiments (1973)




Director: ???

Starring: Jerry Delony

More info: IMDb

Plot: Dr. Cock-Luv performs lame-ass sex experiments on prisoners during WWII.

My rating: 5/10

Will I watch it again? Nah.






It starts out with the doc getting a blow job. OK, so I guess this is 70s porn. She accidentally bites him so he sends her away. Then he starts going off about Hitler and his experiments to his assistant, Fritz, who is clearly played by a woman.


Minutes later Fritz announces to the doc that they have some female prisoners on which to experiment. He's ecstatic.




Cut to a guard forcing a torture victim to blow him. He's very encouraging to her while she performs saying things like, "You are vunderbar!" (I know it's not spelled that way but you really need the sense that this actor doesn't know shit for German except for one or two words).


"Fritz, are you ready to explode her libations?"

Ah, his first victim. Cue the lovely Debussy-esque orchestral piece and some psychedelic visuals...



The doc's first experiment!




I can't watch. It's too horrific. The history books are right. Those Nazis were cruel sons-of-bitches!


The doc makes one of his guards have sex with the prisoner (SURPRISE!). The victim's a real trooper, too.


"Fuck Germany! Fuck Hitler and greater Germany! Come on big boy, I'll show you how we do it in Texas. Yeeee hahhhh!"

It's her thick Texas accent that turn the words into poetry!


The doc makes a remarkable discovery and calls for Fritz to bring in another victim.




Left with one girl to watch, the guard's just got to get it on with her, right?





There's something purely hilarious watching a fuck scene with a rousing German march playing in the background.

Experiment #2! Test the vibrations!


"Now is the time to test the patient with natural reflex!"



OK, I know they're just kissing here but this looks gross.



Can you guess what they're doing now? Hey! Who let Fellini behind the camera?



You should see this kaleidoscope technique for the money shot...wait, no you shouldn't.


"Heil, Hitler!"

Prisoners helping each other out...













The solidarity of female POW's is a sight to behold! Someone should write a book about it. No! An entire series of books!



"Guard! Remove the dirty one! We must continue with the proper experiments!"


Now insert some actual WWII battle footage. Do you get the impression we're supposed to think that the Americans are right outside the door ready to bust in at any time?



Yup.





The war is over and, thankfully, so is this 59 minute movie. Typical low budget 70s porn with a Nazisploitation slant. It's mild on the torture and experiments (something you expect with this genre) and heavy on boring, hairy sex and bad acting, although the guy that played the doctor was pretty damn funny and his German pronunciations were mostly right on the money and the movie's kind of fun when there's no fucking.

The company that released this on DVD, After Hours, added some shit to the beginning and end of the film that didn't need to be there and does nothing but detract from the film, if that's possible. They also changed the name to SLAVE GIRLS OF THE SS. I've heard the original version of the film was released by Something Weird Video and that's the one you should buy if you need to own this. I'm giving my copy away to some unsuspecting friend.

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