Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Hitler's Last Train (1977)

Director: Alain Payet

Starring: Monica Swinn, Christine Aurel, Sandra Mozarowsky, Yolanda Rios, Erik Muller

More info: IMDb

Tagline: The incredible journey of a trainload of lovely young girls drafted by Hitler for the pleasure of the SS.

Plot: The SS puts a slutty nightclub singer in charge of a train car full of prostitutes whose "services" are reserved solely for German officers. Snoozing ensues.

Train sp├ęcial pour Hitler by apparitor

My rating: 3/10

Will I watch it again? NEIN!

This one comes courtesy of the French. So far the Nazisploitation has come from the USA, Germany and Italy with the lion's share. The French could have averted devastation 70 years ago by showing this film on the front lines. It would have put the Jerrys to sleep and the French could've marched all the way to Berlin instead of the other way around.

What is it again? A boot in the bush is worth two in the...ah, fuck it.

I was unfortunate enough to see the uncut version which runs 108 minutes. I would have preferred the 75 minute one although I would have wondered if I were missing anything besides an extra half hour of sleep.

Starring Steve Martin before he lost all his funny.

Prostitutes on a Nazi train. Really? Oh, that's original. The others were dreadfully boring and this one adds absolutely nothing to the genre except more nude women, boring love making and endless scenes that run far too long. I'm not against stealing plot lines and shit but at least try to at least make it entertaining. Woof.

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