Dogs (1976)

Director: Burt Brinckerhoff

Writer: O'Brian Tomalin

Composer: Alan Oldfield

Starring: David McCallum, Sandra McCabe, George Wyner, Eric Server, Linda Gray, Dean Santoro, Holly Harris, Sterling Swanson, Barry Greenberg

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Don't Pet Them ... Fear Them!

Plot: On the quiet campus of the remotely-located Southwestern University, something strange is happening. All of the dogs in the area, once loyal, gentle pets, are now banding together in wild packs and hunting down their former masters. Could the strange transformation have anything to do with the secret government experiments being conducted in the school's physics laboratory? More importantly, can the dogs be stopped before it's too late?

My rating: 4/10

Will I watch it again? Nope.

Some things I observed...George Wyner is always fun to see in a picture...

I've never seen David McCallum with a beard and it takes a while to adjust to that...

Really, when you sit down to watch a movie like this you want pretty much one thing and one thing only, ferocious fucking dogs killing folks.  Unfortunately, most all of the attacks and kills are at night, barely visible and give little screen time to the actual dogs except when the humans are rolling around with their arms wrapped around one. There are a couple of exceptions.  The best one was at a dog show but even that didn't amount to anything more than dogs growling and showing their teeth and everyone running away.

The other was a shower attack when this nice young lady (no nudity here, kids) gets attacked by a vocal, grinning doberman.  Hell, even the big battle between the dogs and humans doesn't give much screen time to the little guys.  Because the attacks are rather tame and unimaginative (I'm sure they did the best they could under the circumstances) it feels like it's about one step up from being a TV movie of the week.  That's the biggest let down of all.  This dog has no bite.  THE PACK (1977) came out the next year and it looks more like what this one should have been.  I'm going to watch that one tonight. Stay away from DOGS. It might bore you to sleep.

Dressed to Kill (1980)

Director: Brian De Palma

Writer: Brian De Palma

Composer: Pino Donaggio

Starring: Michael Caine, Angie Dickinson, Nancy Allen, Keith Gordon, Dennis Franz, David Margulies, Ken Baker, Susanna Clemm, Brandon Maggart, Amalie Collier, Mary Davenport

More info: IMDb

Tagline: The Latest Fashion In Murder

Plot:  A mysterious, tall blonde woman, wearing dark sunglasses murders one of a psychiatrist's patients, and now she goes after the high-priced call girl who witnessed the murder.

My rating: 7.5/10

Will I watch it again? Yes.

I haven't seen this since the late '80s but I remember really digging it.  What stayed with me was the mostly the style.  I LOVE how De Palma opens the picture with Pino Donaggio's lush theme (his score is fantastic, too) and Angie Dickinson masturbating in the shower that turns ugly.  What a way to start your movie.  Every picture should open with a wet and naked Angie Dickinson.  Maybe not so much now since she's into her 80s. She's perfect in this role, though.  She really nails an aging and disappointed wife.  Her scene with the stranger in the museum is outstanding and should be required viewing for anyone in film school.  We need more moments like these.  It's beautiful, mysterious and tragic.  Donaggio's music in this scene is particularly special.  Having Michael Caine in your flick only makes it better.  He's most always a lot of fun. This picture is full of nice surprises, like the one where Kate (Dickinson) finds out about her lover's, ahem, medical condition.  WOW!  And then there's the second part of the one-two punch that happens moments later. 

The only thing that really keeps this film from true greatness is the acting from Nancy Allen and Dennis Franz.  They share moments that are truly horrible and laughable.  how about their scene together at the police station halfway into the movie?  WOW!  It sounds like the first read through and it's far from polished.  Allen isn't giving nearly enough and Franz is for too much.  I really dig the transition from Dickinson's scene to Allen's. Great stuff.  And I LOVED the ending.  It'll keep you guessing to the last second before the credits roll.  This is really fun film but some of Allen & Franz's acting is too much.  I really like those two, too, like a lot but not here.  This is one of those great movies that De Palma has been riding off the success of for many years and deservedly so.

Dracula (1979)

Director: John Badham

Writers: W.D. Richter, Hamilton Deane, John L. Balderston, Bran Stoker

Composer: John Williams

Starring: Frank Langella, Laurence Olivier, Donald Pleasence, Kate Nelligan, Trevor Eve, Jan Francis, Janine Duvitski, Tony Haygarth, Teddy Turner, Sylvester McCoy, Kristine Howart, Joe Belcher, Ted Carroll, Frank Birch, Gabor Vernon, Frank Henson, Peter Wallis

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Throughout history he has filled the hearts of men with terror, and the hearts of women with desire.

Plot: When a ship is wrecked off Whitby, the only survivor, Count Dracula, is discovered lying on the beach by the sickly young Mina Van Helsing, who is visiting her dear friend Lucy Seward. Lucy, her fiancé Jonathan Harker (a solicitor), and her father Dr. Jack Seward (who runs the local asylum) try to make the Count feel welcome to England. The Count quickly takes the life of Mina, and proceeds to romance Lucy, with the intention of making her his greatest bride. Soon after the death of Mina, the Sewards call her father Dr. Abraham Van Helsing to come to their home. As Lucy falls deeper under the spell of the Count, Dr. Van Helsing almost immediately comes to understand that his daughter fell prey to a vampire and discovers the culprit to be none other than the Count himself. Dr. Van Helsing, Dr. Seward, and Harker work together to foil the Count's plans to take Lucy away to his native Transylvania.

My rating: 7.5/10

Will I watch it again? Yes.

When it comes to Dracula movies, I don't have a problem with how loose the film makers play with the source material or tropes of what has become expected for films about this fanged dude of the night.  For my money, THE reason to watch this is for John Williams' outstanding score.  This was during that period where he could do no wrong and his scores were filled with wonderful themes and orchestrations.  The picture's got a great cast.  Pleasence is fun as usual.  Olivier feels like he's giving way more than he needed to.  I've seen that man give incredible performances but in the 70s he seemed to dial back on the quality sometimes and go too far.  Anyway, the love scene is nicely handled.

Combine that with Williams' beautiful, sinister theme and you've got what's likely the best that any Dracula love scene has been handled, before or since.  Drac's death scene is badass cool, too, and kind of tragic.  Overall, it might be a tad too slow for some but I really enjoy it.  It often gets overlooked when folks talk about Dracula pictures but it's worth checking out.  Fans, like me, of Coppola's BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA (1992) will get a kick out of seeing a couple of scenes in this one that he used for inspiration on his flick.

Stephen Romano Presents Shock Festival (2010)

Director: Stephen Romano

Writer: Victor Bonacore

Composer: Mars Homeworld

Starring: Diana Baisley, Jessica Baisley, Alexandra Cipolla, Jennifer English, Alan Rowe Kelly, Mike Lane, Ruby Larocca, Jamie Mayhem, Mike Mistake, Sarah Nicklin, Chi Orengo, Jude Pucillo, Michael Reed, Sybelle Silverphoenix, Joey Smack, Brenna Gwyn Snowe

More info: IMDb

Tagline: if you think you've seen it all...

Plot: Take a wild journey through the exploitation movie scenes of the 1970s and 1980s with this collection of hundreds of actual previews of coming attractions, television commercials and radio spots for the sleaziest, sexiest most off-the-wall films ever made - all digitally re-mastered from original film elements. This is the ultimate collection of classic exploitation and horror trailers, TV ads and radio spots. This 3-disc set includes new audio and video tribute media, collectable poster and full-color liner notes.

My rating: 10/10

Will I watch it again? It's a trailer compilation, of coures!

This trailer comp is different than any other in that it's got 34 minutes of made up trailer for movies that don't exist.  Nearly all of them strive to look like 60s/70s grindhouse trailers in the way they look and feel but you soon discover that it takes a lot more than adding scratches, cutting frames and grading to achieve that.  Some are pretty good and others not so much but they're all worthy efforts.  This is the kind of thing I've been wanting to do myself for many years.  Someday I guess...  Each fake trailer has it's own movie poster (and they look fantastic!) and optional audio commentary. Here's a breakdown of the new trailers on disc 1.

Attack of the Sadistic Killer
Tentacles in a Twisted Death Dream
Toolshed of the Livind Dead
Girl Killer
The Ghost of the Raven
Evolver
Devil Sister
Dark Night of the Demonhouse
Warpmonster
Dead Bugs On the Carpet
I Hate Your Guts!
Dead Bugs On the Carpet 2
They Made Me
Thinking Man's Gun

The rest of disc 1 has real trailers and there are some beauts, too.  My favorite is probably Gone with the Pope.  I loved that movie.  Where's the fucking DVD, guys?  All of these have an option commentary with Stephen Romano and another with "Uncle Creepy"

Treasure of the 4 Crowns
Vice Squad (1982)
Cornbread, Earl and Me
Black Samurai (1977)
Grimm's Fairytales
Flesh Gordon (1974)
Conquest
Delirium
Amazon Jail
Beyond Atlantis
Sadomania
Challenge to Be Free
Venom
Raw Force
Gone with the Pope (1976/2010)
Black Heat
Starstruck
Last Days of Man On Earth
1990: The Bronx Warriors (1982)
The Late, Great Planet Earth
Avalanche Express
Cinderella 2000
Titillation
Flesh and Lace
Mysterious Island
Circle of Iron (1978)
Smithereens
Fantastic Planet
The Loveless
The Sexy Dozen
2069: A Sex Odyssey
Raiders of Letye Gulf
Scum of the Earth
Venus In Furs
The Female Animal
7 Dwarves to the Rescue
The Fighting Rats of Tobruk
Fight for Your Life
Fast Company
Grand Slam (1967)
Space Raiders
The Final Countdown
Captain America
Cannonball
Killer Force
King Kong vs. Godzilla
Africa Blood and Guts

Disc 2 offers up more trailers but in the horror genre. Each trailer has optional commentaries as on disc 1.

The Stuff (1985)
Pieces (1982)
Snuff (1976)
Beyond the Gate
Pranks
Burnt Offerings (1976)
Dead and Buried
Blood Spattered Bride (1972)
The House By the Cemetery
Great White (1981)
Cat O 9 Tails
Saturn 3 (1980)
God Told Me To (1976)
The Crazies (1973)
Toolbox Murders (1978)
Q
Grizzly
Don't Look In the Basement
Hell Night
Satan's Black Wedding
Black Belly of the Tarantula
Invasion of the Bee Girls
Maniac (1980)
Banana Monster
Dead of Night
Carnival of Blood
Curse of the Headless Horseman
Mark of the Devil (1970)
Bloodsucking Freaks
Deep Red (1975)
The Curse
Autopsy
Daughters of Darkness
Shock Waves (1977)
The Illustrated Man
The 5th Cord
7 Doors of Death
Blood of Ghastly Horror

Disc 2 continues with a section called TELEVISION SPECTACULAR which is tons of trailers made to air on TV. 

Cry of a Prostitute
The Wrestler
Seven Blows of the Dragon
Don't Open the Window
The Pyx
Mondo Cane
The Killing Machine
Dracula vs. Frankenstein
Old Dracula
The Last Survivor
Angel's Wild Women
The Last Man On Earth
The Crimson Cult
Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde (1971)
The Shape of Things to Come
And Now the Screaming Starts
Four Flies on Grey Velvet
Eye of the Cat
The House That Dripped Blood (1971)
Berserk
The Devil's Rain (1975)
Rollerball
Massacre at Central High
JD's Revenge
Evil In the Deep
Rabid (1977)
Tentacles
Suspiria
Beyond the Door 2
Shock Waves (1977)
Slithis
The 5th Floor
The Brood
The Changeling (1980)
Comin' At Ya!

The trailers keep on comin' with The Trailers of Independant International Pictures which includes an interview with IIP President Sam Sherman.

Mad Doctor of Blood Island
Brides of Blood
Blood-O-Rama Shock Festival
Satan's Sadists
Angel's Wild Women
Horror of the Blood Monsters
Girls for Rent
Naughty Stewardesses
Brain of Blood
Blazing Stewardesses
Blood Drinkers

The disc is rounded out with an image gallery featureing all-new images with music by Dead House Music.  This 7 minute slideshow has the mock posters to the new trailers on disc one plus a whole lot more.  The retro style of the posters is fantastic.  None of these movies exist but I'll be damned if I didn't want to see every one of them.  This is really good stuff.

The third and final disc is nothing but audio; 312 MP3s of 30 and 60 second radio spots.  I haven't had a chance to go through these yet but I've heard some of them before.  It's the kind of thing you'd want to listen to on a trip.  There is a shitload of great titles on this disc that will have you in stitches with laughter.  Some of them get really creative when you don't have the visual to connect to and they're usually loaded with great taglines.

This is a great set and it's obvious the folks behind this have a true love for 70s/80s era genre trailers plus they've added so much more than any other compilation I've ever seen and I've got over 200 DVD of just trailers!  Right now you can get it on Amazon for $12.96 and free shipping (for Prime members).  It's a no brainer.  Even if you don't like the fake trailers, there are still hours and hours of fun in this set.  Simply outstanding.

Yellowstone 3D - America's Greatest Wonder (2013)

Director: Donald Young

Writer:  N/A

Composer: N/A

Starring: Buffalo and trees

More info: Amazon

Plot: The Yellowstone National Park is the oldest national park in the world. It was established in 1872 and protects an idyllic landscape with thick pine forests, lakes and rivers from exploitation by humans. The park, which is also the largest national park in the United States, offers shelter for many endangered animal species like bears, elk, cougars, lynx, wolves and bison on the high plateau in the Rocky Mountains. Experience this unforgettable natural wonders in real 3D pictures!

My rating: 3/10

Will I watch it again? Hell & No.

Here's an idea of the quality you can expect from this 3D Blu-ray.  There are just four names in the end credits.  Four.

This is just awful.  The only thing it's got going for it is that there are several pretty images of the park.  But then there are a long list of WTFs like the most famous geyser in the world and pretty much THE number one reason people have been visiting the park for more than a hundred years and that's Old Faithful.  Not only do they not show it, they don't even mention it.  Chew on that for a minute.  Then you've got the grossly repetitive and irritating music, the computer generated narration that even mispronounces common words and even goes so far as to mispronounce Yellowstone (at least once) as "Yee-lowstone".  Any number of people should have caught basic errors like that before it went into production.  The 3D looks good most of the time but there are many shots where there is barely an effect.  The camera does not move but there is movement withing the shot in the way of bubbling pools or the rare animal in motion. The Blu-ray case says it's 62 minutes but it's really only 50.   Over the past 35 years, I've been to Yellowstone park only three times.  It's a beautiful place and I highly recommend that everyone try and make it there someday.  It's breathtaking and it deserves something better than this.  I only hope I can at least recoup some of my money by putting this in my garage sale next week.

Inseminoid (1981)

AKA: Horror Planet

Director: Norman J. Warren

Writers: Nick Maley, Gloria Maley

Composer: John Scott

Starring: Robin Clarke, Jennifer Ashley, Stephanie Beacham, Steven Grives, Barrie Houghton, Rosalind Lloyd, Victoria Tennant, Trevor Thomas, Heather Wright, David Baxt, Dominic Jephcott, John Segal, Kevin O'Shea, Robert Pugh, Judy Geeson, Nick Maley

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Somewhere in the Depth of Space ... A Horrific Nightmare is About to Become a Reality.

Plot:  A crew of interplanetary archaeologists is threatened when an alien creature impregnates one of their members, causing her to turn homicidal and murder them one by one.

My rating: 6.5/10

Will I watch it again? Maybe.

I love ALIEN (1979) clones but the problem with them is they're usually really, really bad.  I doubt we'll ever see one that approaches the original in any area. Surprise, surprise.  This one's not bad.  The acting and dialogue are so awful sometimes that it's so-bad-it's-good.  I'm certain there's a good drinking game to be found in here somewhere. The American actors (especially the lead actress...I think it's the girl that plays Holly (Ashley)) are inferior to the British ones.  The Brits tap dance around the Yanks like mad.  They've got skills.  The line readings from the lead American broad has some laughably bad ones.  It's great.  But we're not watching this for the overblown acting.  Nope.  We're watching it because we want to see the money shot, the insemination from alien to human!

The picture doesn't stray too far from ALIEN's story except for some minor details like it's a woman instead of a man that the alien is gestating in and it's the pregger mom to be that's going around and killing off the crew one by one instead of a badass alien.  But hey, they've got a fraction of the budget to work with.  What they do with it is pretty damn impressive. The atmosphere is good and the special effects and gore effects are pretty good.  But make no mistake, it clearly doesn't look or feel like a bigger budgeted, major release.  The one area that I would have like some money spent on is John Scott's score. I really dig this guy's orchestral work but the cheap synthesizer sound keeps the picture from elevating beyond what it is.  This is the kind of flick that's good to watch with a group and have fun with.  It's not a start to finish funfest but there are some unintentional laughs with the acting and dialogue and lots of neat things along the way to entertain you.

Sundance Film Festival 2014 Summary

Well, it didn't look like I was going to be able to go this year but at least I had last year. Sundance 2013 was an amazing experience.  If I only had one chance to go, that would satisfy me.  27 films was quite a feat. This year I was late to the dance but I still caught 12 fantastic films, some of which I'll see again and a small handful I'm dying to show my friends.


Day 1 - Let the movies begin & party with Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon!

Day 2 - Why a romance between a 28 year old and a 14 year old isn't as bad as it sounds and hanging out with future celebrities at the cast & crew party!

Day 3 - Killer cheerleader sex/murder scandal and the return of Nazi zombies!

Day 4 - The day I get a cold...oh, plus dope-addicted jazz pianists and serial killers make the best pals.

Day 5 - Kevin Smith is soooooooooooo awesome!!!

Day 6 - Awards, the day I got a second opinion & sci-fi dust!

Day 7 - Three films that made sweet, sweet love to me ending with the biggest climax I've had in a long time!

Overall and final thoughts: For my second time here, it's been fantastic. The people were friendly, the 1,800+ volunteers were amazing, the weather was fantastic (sunny skies and barely a breeze the entire time I was there) and the movies were even better than last year. There wasn't a stinker in any of the 12 films I saw (less than half of what I caught last year) and the last film of the last day (for me) was the best. I really hope some of these make it out to the public in the coming months. They need to be seen and several of them are screaming me to come back. It's been one hell of a great film ride this year. Bring on 2015!