Rififi (1955)

Director: Jules Dassin

Starring: Jean Servais, Carl Mohner, Robert Manuel, Janine Darcey

More info: IMDb

Tagline: "Rififi"...means Trouble!

Plot: After five years in prison, Tony le Stéphanois meets his dearest friends Jo and the Italian Mario Ferrati and they invite Tony to steal a couple of jewels from the show-window of the famous jewelry Mappin & Webb Ltd, but he declines. Tony finds his former girlfriend Mado, who became the lover of the gangster owner of the night-club L' Âge d' Or Louis Grutter, and he humiliates her, beating on her back and taking her jewels. Then he calls Jo and Mario and proposes a burglary of the safe of the jewelry. They invite the Italian specialist in safes and elegant wolf Cesar to join their team and they plot a perfect heist. That was the easy part.

My rating: 8/10

Will I watch it again? Yes!

Excellent French film noir. I'm officially a huge fan of Dassin. Of the six films he directed from 1947 to 1955, I've seen five and they're all very, very good. The man certainly knew how to quietly build tension and then let it snap with devastating results. These aren't happy films; they're the harsh reality of broken dreams.


The heist itself takes a while to get to (just under the halfway mark of the film) and the job takes about twenty minutes of screen time with very little dialogue. The sweat dripping off their eager and frightened foreheads says everything you need to know.


What happens after the heist is pure gold. It's solid suspense. And when the shit hits the fan, just hope you're nowhere near the screen. It's damn good!

Horror of Frankenstein (1970)

Director: Jimmy Sangster

Starring: Ralph Bates, Kate O'Mara, Veronica Carlson, Dennis Price, Jon Finch, Bernard Archard

More info: IMDb

Plot: Academically gifted but arrogant and amoral, Victor Frankenstein will stop at nothing, not even patricide, to achieve his goal of recreating human life. When his handiwork turns out to have homicidal tendencies he is happy to use this to his own ends rather than realize he has gone too far.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again? Sure.

#41 on Hammer Horror (1957-1976)

In an effort to revitalize their Frankenstein franchise for the next generation (I guess they felt Peter Cushing was too old to appeal to the kids of 1970 - stupid studio execs) they cast Ralph Bates in the titular role. While I kind of like Bates, I'm not entirely sold on his performance. He's too reserved and not a good enough actor (like Cushing) to pull off the withdrawn genius who looks at the world in contempt while using it for his means. Bates has moments where he comes close but no cigar...at least not the box full.


The humor, albeit dry, is fantastic. Cushing had some choice lines throughout his tenure as the doctor but not as many in one picture as this. I laughed my ass off a few times and it's likely that's what's going to bring me back to it.

Victor Frankenstein (R): [Having not seen Alys since she was a child] You're looking remarkably well. You've put on weight in a couple of places.


Man, I'd sure like to have her as my housekeeper! I'm terribly sorry about that last comment. It was very improper of me to say such a thing about the talented Kate O'Mara. What I should've said instead was that I like the way she carries her tits.

One thing I like about the Hammer Frankenstein movies is that Frankenstein is not only a brilliant and dedicated scientist (which you see in every movie about the man) but what you don't see in most other productions and that's that he's so heartless in his dedication. Cushing pulled that off like nobody's business and Bates has plenty of opportunity to show that his version is no different.


Veronica Carlson is simply gorgeous as Frankenstein's would-be fiance, Elizabeth. I love what they did with her hair.


Dennis price was fun as The Grave robber.


Oh, we can't forget about the monster. David "Darth Vader" Prowse does the deed this time. Either they didn't have the money or the special effects team went to the pub the day they were supposed to design a monster because this one's pretty damn weak. And why do we have to have the mongoloidian forehead on these guys? How about bald with stitches? Anyway, it's when we're introduced to the monster that the movie starts to get a little less fun.

You're looking remarkably well.
You've put on weight in a couple of places.

And to think that this was released as the second half of a Hammer double bill with SCARS OF DRACULA (1970)! Despite these two flicks missing their potential, I did enjoy them to some degree and I would gladly pay to sit in a darkened theater with a big ole tub of corn. What a fun night that would be.

King Solomon's Mines (1985)

Director: J. Lee Thompson

Starring: Richard Chamberlain, Sharon Stone, Herbert Lom, John Rhys-Davies, Ken Gampu

More info: IMDb

Tagline: The Adventure of a Lifetime

Plot: Allan Quatermain is a fortune hunter who is convinced by Jesse Huston to help her find her father, who's been lost somewhere in the African jungle during his last exploration.

My rating: 5.5/10

Will I watch it again? Very doubtful.


This is nothing more than a cash grab trying to pick up the leavings behind the first two Indiana Jones pictures. Allan Quatermain IS Indiana Jones only with more jokes. I can't blame Chamberlain for doing it. Hell, I would, too. Free trip to Africa, ya get to play with guns, fart around in the jungle, maybe get to second base with Sharon Stone. What's not to like? Well, it's trying too hard to be a lighter version of an Indiana Jones movie. It's not that bad, actually. I rather enjoyed it but only up to a point. That point being the excessive silliness and stereotypes that you'd think would have died out by this time. It's embarrassing.


Jerry Goldsmith's score is outstanding and exemplifies high adventure. It's almost as good as John Williams's for the Indy films and that's saying something. It's easily the best part of the picture. Next to that has to be Richard Chamberlain as Quatermain. He really is having a great time and he's very likable. Stone was fine but after seeing how strong of a character Karen Allen's Marion was in RAIDERS, it's tough to get on board with anyone less than that. It's neat that they got John Rhys-Davis and he's playing the opposite of what he did in RAIDERS. That was fun. Also fun was Herbert Lom.


As a huge Indy fan I had to see this in the theater and the sequel the following year. I'm a sucker for this kind of shit. I only wish it had been better. But as far as Indiana Jones knock-offs go, it's probably the best of the bunch. I'll say this, though, it really gets me in the mood to watch the 1950 version with Stewart Granger. Five'll get ya ten it's a much better flick.

Temple of a Thousand Lights (1965)

Director: Umberto Lenzi

Starring: Richard Harrison, Luciana Gilli, Wilbert Bradley, Daniele Vargas, Andrea Scotti

More info: IMDb

Plot: Richard Harrison stars as Alan Foster, a notorious bank robber from NYC hiding out in India. He get the bright idea to steal the "Mountain of Light," a large diamond encased in the forehead of a 20 foot religious Buddha. The bad guys in power and the people want it back.



My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again? Well, it's so so-so that I'm going to have to pass and watch the gazillion other movies on my watch list instead.


I love movies that take place in India. We'll forget that this one was filmed in Malaysia pretending to be India. I also love movies that take place in Malaysia. It's the exotic locales, architecture and people that make these places interesting. TEMPLE works for me on that level. Richard Harrison is likable as an adventurer, automatically giving it an Indiana Jones kind of vibe. The picture doesn't lack action but it could be more exciting. The heist of the diamond takes about 20 minutes which wouldn't be so bad if the tension and danger had been handled better. And then there's this piece of bullshit.

I had to re-watch that scene to make sure I wasn't going crazy. Yep. They cheated. I'm not sure why but it smacked to me of poor screenwriting and poor direction. Surely someone could have gotten Lenzi to handle that better. I like Lenzi but this is inexcusable and clumsy. I was having a decent time watching the movie and then suddenly I'm cheesed because of how clunky that escape was handled. It's not a deal killer but it just cheapens the thing, ya know?


Harrison puts the jewel back, gets a commendation by the state or something and he's already thinking about his next heist. It's a decent adventure film that I kind of recommend, especially the gorgeous print I saw, but prepare yourself to want more after your 88 minutes are up. Maybe I should slap in a 1960s widescreen Tarzan picture to make it all right.

Strike Commando (1987)

Director: Bruno Mattei

Starring: Reb Brown, Christopher Connelly, Louise Kamsteeg, Luciano Pigozzi, Alex Vitale

More info: IMDb

Tagline: A one man war machine!

Plot: While operating behind enemy lines, Sgt. Mike Ransom learns of a Russian presence in North Vietnam. Ordered to obtain proof of this discovery, Ransom returns to enemy territory but is captured and subjected to a variety of tortures. Eventually he escapes to continue his mission despite being hampered by a traitor in his own ranks.

My rating: 4/10

Will I watch it again? No.

STRIKE COMMANDO is an obvious RAMBO II (1985) clone through and through. There's not much different about these two flicks...except the quality. STRIKE is a 'so bad it's good' kind of movie, at least potentially, only it's not good. It would be if you truncated it by half but there's an awful lot of boring to pad the laughably horrid scenes like this one.

Amazing. Absolutely amazing. Did this guy study with Stella Adler? Wow. Now THAT scene is hilarious. Too bad this picture isn't filled with a crapload more of 'em. I really don't have much to say except the trailer got me so excited to see a great dumb ride and then I watched it. It's a great trailer and I would much prefer to watch that 30 times than ever sit through the movie. Mattei followed this masterpiece up with a sequel the very next year. Somehow he managed to get Richard Harris to be in it. STRIKE COMMANDO 2? I'm there. I am so there.

Battle for the Planet of the Apes (1973)

Director: J. Lee Thompson

Starring: Roddy McDowall, Claude Akins, Natalie Trundy, Severn Darden

More info: IMDb

Tagline: The final chapter in the incredible Apes saga. The most suspenseful showdown ever filmed as two civilizations battle for the right to inherit what's left of the earth!

Plot: After conquering the oppressive humans in "Conquest for the Planet of the Apes", Caesar must now keep the peace among the humans and apes. Gorilla General Aldo views things differently, and tries to cause an ape civil war. In the meantime, other human survivors learn of the ape city, and decide they want to take back civilization for themselves, thus setting the stage of warring ape factions and humans.

My rating: 5/10

Will I watch it again? Begrudgingly

#46 on SCI-FI TRAILERS VOLUME 9 & 10 (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)

For my money, it's the first APES picture that's the best, then 3 (ESCAPE), 2 (BENEATH) and 4 (CONQUEST) in no order and finally this one. BATTLE has the lowest budget of all of them and it shows. In fact it looks like a TV show. Fox even made a short lived series not too long after this. I remember watching it back in the 70s as a kid and liking it...but then I was all of 5. There's a lot of stuff that doesn't make sense like how the apes have suddenly learned to talk! It's only been 10 years since the last movie so I guess we're going to have to take one of dozens of leaps of faith that have been expected throughout the series. The funny thing is, I can do that with the APES pictures. I guess it's because I like the concept and it's neat sci-fi.


The thin budget really shows at the climax when we get the battle. It's silly and anemic. There are so few participants that it looks like a backyard excursion. And the humans driving a school bus as part of the onslaught is hilarious not to mention the guy on the motorcycle going so slow that Dennis the Menace could have picked him off with a slingshot. Hell, the motorcycle guy drove right into battle without a weapon. His weapon I guess was the slow-moving bike.


If it weren't for Roddy McDowall's participation this would almost be completely worthless. It's a sad theatrical close to an otherwise fun and interesting series. And to think this was directed by J. Lee "GUNS OF NAVARONE (1961) & CAPE FEAR (1962)" Thompson. My how the mighty have fallen. If only the movie were as good as the poster.

Corruption (1968)

Director: Robert Hartford-Davis

Starring: Peter Cushing, Sue Lloyd, Noel Trevarthen, Kate O'Mara

More info: IMDb

Tagline: This is not a woman's picture! No women will be allowed in alone!

Plot: A surgeon discovers that he can restore the beauty to his girlfriend's scarred face by murdering other women and extracting fluids from their pituitary gland. However, the effects only last for a short time, so he has to kill more and more women. It is ultimately a killing spree which ends with considerable death and disaster.

My rating: 5/10

Will I watch it again? No.

#7 on 42nd Street Forever Vol. 1 (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)

For the most part I was digging this until the last 20 minutes when a gang of teens showed up and kind of ruined it. It seemed to be going alright until then. Then again, the plot was pretty thin to begin with. That Cushing and his wife Lloyd were perfectly fine killing young women to keep Lloyd's face looking beautiful was a stretch. She was going to give up modeling anyway to marry him. I can understand wanting to maintain your good looks I guess but that seemed far too easy for them to kill for a couple of weeks of not seeing the burn marks on your cheek. Regardless, Cushing is ALWAYS fun to watch. The kills are OK. The version I saw was from TNT and was edited, apparently, cutting out any nudity and some gore. Anything would have helped.

Bill McGuffie's jazz score was kind of cool at times and at others kind of funny. Funny like in the chase scene above. I think if the picture had finished on its own without having to introduce a few characters in the last 20 minutes I would have liked it better, plus having a more convincing motivation for the killings. How about that horribly sexist tagline on the poster and trailer? They should've changed it to "Corruption is not anyone's picture!"