Double Nickels (1977)

Director:  Jack Vacek

Writers:  Patrice Schubert, Jack Vacek

Starring: Edward Abrahms, Ed Abrams, Lynn Booker, Micheal Brennan, George Cole, Michael Cole, Larry Dunn

More info: IMDb

Tagline: When you want a car repossessed hire a pro!

Plot: Two highway patrolmen think they are working on the side repossessing cars. But eventually, they realize that they have been tricked and are actually stealing the cars.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

I'm not into cars so much but I'm totally into 1970s drive-in car flicks.  Jack Vacek (the cinematographer on GONE IN 60 SECONDS (1974)) wrote and directed this picture.  On movies like this the only thing you expect to be good are the car chases and stunts and he delivers.  The rest of the movie is OK, though, and not so bad that you're cringing every few minutes in between naps.  It's not a boring movie but it does drag sometimes.  The chases are pretty good and long (yay!).  There's one that has a cop chasing one of our main guys down a series of concrete stairs.  I was freaking out concerned about the muscle car not getting beat up.   I got a little into it for that scene.  It was cool.  The acting is alright, all things considered.  It kind of helped that a lot of these people weren't professional actors.  It added a little something real to the picture.  There were a bunch of these types of flicks during the decade and a lot of them get swept under the rug because they were too dumb.  This one has a decent story with all the trimmings for a fun night at the drive-in...except for nudity.  There isn't any and that's just sad. 

Gone in 60 Seconds 2 (1989)

Director: H.B. Halicki

Writer: H.B. Halicki

Starring: H.B. Halicki

More info: H.B. Halicki Wiki

Plot:  A man hijacks a semi and leads hundreds of cops on a destructive chase.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again?  Maybe (I've already seen it twice).


Since this is footage put together from a movie that was never finished, you just have to watch this as one long 30-minute car chase.  It's a good one.  There are times when you have to kick in your suspension of disbelief (like when the semi plows into 20 or more parked cars and doesn't slow down one bit) but that's not too much to ask I guess.  Halicki was a stunt master like no other when it came to cars.  His GONE IN 60 SECONDS (1974) is a masterpiece in car chases (don't watch the widescreen version where his widow replaced the songs and score with crap and also changed the original car sounds - you're better off with the original fullscreen VHS version).  He was in the middle of shooting this film when an unexpected accident took his life.  The chase is fun and Halecki and pals crash a shitload of cars and motorcycles.  That goes on for about twenty minutes when he switches vehicles and takes The Slicer out for a spin.  At first it's ridiculous and goofy looking but that only lasts a few seconds until you get to see what it's capable of.  Then it's pure badass.  Fans of car stunts shouldn't pass this one up.  It's not polished but don't let the low budget get you down.  Halecki tears some shit up and there are lots of get stunts that shouldn't go un-noticed.

Death Race 2 (2010)

Director: Roel Reine

Writers: Tony Giglio, Paul W.S. Anderson

Composer: Paul Haslinger

Starring: Luke Goss, Lauren Cohan, Sean Bean, Ving Rhames, Tanit Phoenix, Patrick Lyster, Deobia Oparei, Fred Koehler, Robin Shou, Danny Trejo, Joe Vaz

More info: IMDb

Tagline: 3 Days. 10 Killers, 20,000 Rounds of Ammo.

Plot: Explores the origins of the first "Frankenstein" car driver, Carl "Luke" Lucas, who died in a race at the beginning of the first film.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again? No.

I only watched this because of Bean, Rhames and Trejo.  It starts out pretty good but as soon as you get to prison and the first Death Match fight begins you can see why the camera moves a lot and the editing is quick.  The fights are half-assed.  Action-wise the car chase and stunts fare much better but I still hate the 3 edits per second bullshit.  It's not like that all through the race but there's enough of it to long for the days of the 70s when DEATH RACE 2000 (1975) showed you how it was done.  I understand the differences in these films and what they're doing but it's just a damn shame that you don't get a wider field of vision to soak in the culmination of all the hard work and talent that went into making these stunts work. There are quite a few moments of slow motion that work well and deliver some eye candy.  After DEATH RACE (2008) I wasn't sure where they'd go from there but it was a nice surprise that this is an origin story (prequel to the first film) of the race and the character of Frankenstein (the moment when he's 'born' is over-the-top cheesy as fuck).  Those two things alone go a long way of making this a better movie.  I watched the unrated version on the Universal DVD and I was surprised at the lack of any nudity.  It was certainly teased that there could be some but they failed to deliver.  Maybe there were a couple of extra "fucks" tossed in to justify it being unrated.  Whatever.  Since two of the three people in this come back for the third film I'll probably watch it at some point. 

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

Director: George Miller

Writers: George Miller, Brendan McCarthy, Nick Lathouris

Composer: Junkie XL

Staring: Tom Hardy, Charlize Theron, Nicholas Hoult, Hugh Keays-Byrne, Josh Helman, Nathan Jones, Zoe Kravitz, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Riley Keough, Abby Lee, Courtney Eaton, John Howard, Richard Carter

More info: IMDb

Tagline: What a lovely day.

Plot: In a stark desert landscape where humanity is broken, two rebels just might be able to restore order: Max, a man of action and of few words, and Furiosa, a woman of action who is looking to make it back to her childhood homeland.

My rating: 8/10

Will I watch it again? Yes.

Wow.  It's hard to think that it's been 30 years since MAD MAX: BEYOND THUNDERDOME (1985).  I'd like to have had one sooner but better late than never.  It's a really fun flick that keeps the action going almost non-stop.  Seriously, it's practically a two-hour car chase and the action is fantastic.  I loved that Miller went with is much on-camera practical effects as he did.  The quality shows and it feels more grounded in real life for as much as these stunts look and feel like they're real.  Some of the CGI is obvious but I don't care.  Oh, and there are a nice number of neat and unexpected deaths.  It's a great, fun Summer ride and I'm glad I caught it on the big screen first (in 2D and it looks great...I can't see how 3D would help it much).  Theron gives a good performance.  I've got so much respect for her.  For being one of the most beautiful actresses (and talented) out there, she has no problem making herself look weathered and beaten.  Aside from all of the great stunts and barren desert location shooting, there are a couple of things worth pointing out.  Tom Hardy doesn't have nearly enough to do to the point of wondering about calling it a Mad Max movie.  He does fine in the role I guess but there's not much room for acting for him in this picture.  There were a few moments where he had that look that would fit right in as Indiana Jones.  The role of Max was close to generic as so much as there are a slew of actors that could have done the role and it wouldn't have mattered much.  I would've liked to have seen more Max.  Still, despite those minor nit picks, it's a thrilling ride that comfortably fits into the Mad Max universe.  If you're wondering where it fits in the scheme of things, it's not as good as MAD MAX 2: THE ROAD WARRIOR (1981), one of the greatest action movies EVER, and it's a damn sight better than THUNDERDOME.  One thing that would've made this picture better is having Mel Gibson back in the role despite his age and shitty racist comments.  That would have been fucking awesome!

Powder Keg (2001)

In 2001, BMW produced a series of 8 short films starring Clive Owen as The Driver.  They were made with the top action directors and various famous actors to showcase the performance aspects of various BMW cars.

Director: Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu

Writers: David Carter, Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, Guillermo Arriaga

Composer: Harry Gregson-Williams

Starring: Clive Owen, Stellan Skarsgard, Lois Smith

More info: IMDb

Plot: January 13, 2001. Times war photographer Harvey Jacobs is wounded while witnessing a massacre at Nuevo Colon by terrorists. In a desperate effort, the United Nations sends a vehicle to get him out, a BMW driven by the mysterious Driver.

My rating: 8.5/10

Will I watch it again? Probably not.

Wow.  The bit at the checkpoint was intense.  The film is only 11 minutes but it packs an emotional punch.  This is the extended version (about 3 minutes longer, I think) that's on the DVD with the other 7 short BMW films.  It rounds out the disc and it's a great one to go out on.  Highly recommended.  Good score, too, by Harry Gregson-Williams.

Star (2001)

In 2001, BMW produced a series of 8 short films starring Clive Owen as The Driver.  They were made with the top action directors and various famous actors to showcase the performance aspects of various BMW cars.

Director: Guy Ritchie

Writers: Joe Sweet, Guy Ritchie

Composer: No score, just Song 2 by Blur and Wagner's The Ride of the Valkyries theme

Starring: Clive Owen, Michael Beattie, Toru Tanaka Jr., DTeflon, Troy Aguayo, Madonna, Woon Young Park

More info: IMDb

Plot: The Driver now carries an arrogant rock star who is visiting a major city (not Pittsburgh as earlier believed). Played by Madonna, this title character wants to get away from her bodyguards in the Driver's BMW. He soon gets tired of her and decides to have a bit of fun.

My rating: 9.5/10

Will I watch it again? YES!!!

Hilarious.  Would you believe that Madonna could be so convincing as a royal cunt?  I know, right?  Clive Owen looks like he's having a blast with that smirk on his face.  As soon as he left the parking garage I just knew it was going to be insanely fun and it was.  I also really dig who put him up to it.  This and the Tony Scott one, BEAT THE DEVIL (2002) with James Brown, are my two favorites and they're both going to get repeat viewings at parties.  Great fun.

Chosen (2001)

In 2001, BMW produced a series of 8 short films starring Clive Owen as The Driver.  They were made with the top action directors and various famous actors to showcase the performance aspects of various BMW cars.

Director: Ang Lee

Writer: David Carter

Composer: Mychael Danna

Starring: Clive Owen, Mason Lee, Sonom Gualson, Brian Smyj, Jamie Harris, Jeff Jensen, Jarrod Bunch, Artie Malesci, Kevin Catucci, Losang Gyatso, Satoru 'Sat' Tsufura

More info: IMDb

Plot: The Driver is carrying an East Asian child who has been chosen for a strange rite. He must drive him through a dark night in the city to get to a monk's house, while eluding several U.S. cars out to get the child.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again? No.

What you're likely to come away from this with is the interesting choice the score is.  It's performed by a string quartet that's periodically augmented with other instruments. It felt weird at first but it grew on me by the end and I really dug it when it was all said and done.  It's one of the cuter entries in to this 8-film series.  It's funny that The Driver receives a gift from the passenger in the way of a bandaid with The Hulk on it.  Lee would go on to direct THE HULK (2003) two years later.  Cute inside joke. 

Ambush (2001)

In 2001, BMW produced a series of 8 short films starring Clive Owen as The Driver.  They were made with the top action directors and various famous actors to showcase the performance aspects of various BMW cars.

Director: John Frankenheimer

Writer: Andrew Kevin Walker

Composer: Michael Wandmacher

Starring: Clive Owen, Tomas Milian, Franklin Dennis Jones

More info: IMDb

Plot: The Driver is a shadowy BMW driver who serves as a chauffeur. On a dark night, he is carrying an elderly old Cuban. They are startled by a van full of armed terrorists, demanding a cache of diamonds stolen by the passenger. At first the Driver is willing to give it up, but when he learns that his cargo actually swallowed the diamonds, he decides to do the right thing.

My rating: 6.5/10

Will I watch it again? Nah.

I was shocked to see that it was Tomas Milian in the backseat.  Holy crap does he look different.  This is the first of teh BMW short films and it was just about the last thing Frankenheimer directed before his death the following year.  This guy knows how to film a car chase.  If you've ever seen RONIN (1998) then you know what I mean.  This film is really short at 6 minutes when you remove the opening and end credits.  It's good but it's not all that memorable or exciting.  The coolest thing about it was seeing Milian.  I don't think I've seen him in anything outside of the Spaghetti Westerns and Italian crime films of the 60s and 70s.

Beat the Devil (2002)

In 2001, BMW produced a series of 8 short films starring Clive Owen as The Driver.  They were made with the top action directors and various famous actors to showcase the performance aspects of various BMW cars.

Director: Tony Scott

Writers: David Carter, Greg Hahn, Vincent Ngo

Composer: Harry Gregson-Williams

Starring: Clive Owen, James Brown, Gary Oldman, Marilyn Manson, Danny Trejo, Tony Wilson, Tomirae Brown, Judge Bradley

More info: IMDb

Plot: Decades ago, the legendary James Brown sold his soul to the devil for fame and fortune. Now he wishes to renegotiate. Hired to take Mr. Brown to a rendezvous with the devil (Gary Oldman), the driver soon finds himself entangled in fiendish plans.

My rating: 10/10

will I watch it again? FUCK & YES

The Devil's (Oldman) entrance is hilarious.  Hell, this whole short is hilarious.  James Brown.  Love that guy and he was a perfect choice as a guy who sold his soul to the Devil in his youth in exchange for wealth and fame.  That it's got Oldman in over-the-top land as the Devil and Danny Trejo as his driver who goes wheel to wheel with Brown's driver (Owen) is the crack cocaine icing on the heroin cake.  The race is both exciting and fun as shit.  The ending is great and the use of James Brown's classic "HEY!" is used to great effect.  Then there's the tag with Marilyn Manson.  I'm only 3 into the 8 films and I can't imagine any of the rest being better than this.  Fantastic.

Ticker (2002)

In 2001, BMW produced a series of 8 short films starring Clive Owen as The Driver.  They were made with the top action directors and various famous actors to showcase the performance aspects of various BMW cars.

Director: Joe Carnahan

Writers: Joe Carnahan, Joe Sweet

Composer: Clint Mansell

Starring: Clive Owen, Don Cheadle, F. Murray Abraham, Clifton Powell, Bruce A. Young, Jimmy Ortega, Eli Danker, Ofer Samra, Amir Aboulela, Deron Cordero, Carlo Cordero, Tynan Grierson, Sean Barry-Weske, Ben Bray, Dennis Haysbert, Ray Liotta, Robert Patrick

More info: IMDb
 
Plot: The Driver finds himself in a dangerous, yet highly political situation; this time being pursued by a helicopter gunship while carrying a passenger with a suitcase... the contents of which will decide the fate of a nation.

My rating: 7.5/10

Will I watch it again? Maybe.

It's amazing how much they pack into this short as well as the amount of great actors.  The first half soars with action and intrigue and the second gives us the emotional weight.  Not bad for 9 minutes.  The action is good but you've also got the great acting chops of Don Cheadle and that's what makes this one better for me.

The Hostage (2002)

In 2001, BMW produced a series of 8 short films starring Clive Owen as The Driver.  They were made with the top action directors and various famous actors to showcase the performance aspects of various BMW cars.

Director: John Woo

Writers: David Carter, Vincent Ngo, Greg Hahn

Composer: Steve Jablonsky

Starring: Clive Owen, Maury Chaykin, Kathryn Morris, Darius McCrary, Gerry Becker, James MacDonald, Robert 'Rock' Galotti, Lyon Reese, Gina Briganti, Christopher Gilbertson, Shannon Holzer, James D. Dever

More info: IMDb

Plot: The driver races to locate a kidnapped victim locked in the trunk of an abandoned car somewhere on the water's edge. Linked to her only by cell phone, the driver narrows in on her location in a desperate race against time and tide.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again? Nah.

The great thing about these short films is that they're short.  This one is expertly directed by John Woo and it's very stylish and 'Hollywood cool'.  It's also totally retarded and unbelievable once The Driver races like mad to save The Hostage (Morris) from drowning in the trunk of a car that's sinking in the bay.  Fucking retarded. How did the car get in the water to begin with when The Kidnapper was miles away?  In this world it takes several minutes for a car to sink.  AHHHHHH!  Shit like this pisses me off.  They were doing so well up until that point.  Other than that, it's fun.

Death Race (2008)

Director: Paul W.S. Anderson

Writer: Paul W.S. Anderson

Composer: Paul Haslinger

Starring: Jason Statham, Joan Allen, Ian McShane, Tyrese Gibson, Natalie Martinez, Max Ryan, Jason Clarke, Fred Koehler, Jacob Vargas, Justin Mader, Robert LaSardo, Robin Shou, Benz Antoine, David Carradine

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Get ready for a killer ride.

Plot: Ex-con Jensen Ames is forced by the warden of a notorious prison to compete in our post-industrial world's most popular sport: a car race in which inmates must brutalize and kill one another on the road to victory.

My rating: 6.5/10

Will I watch it again? Probably not.

Here's another picture I face palmed when I heard they were remaking.  The original DEATH RACE 2000 (1975) is so fucking fun that it's hard to believe giving it a bigger budget and bigger stars would improve it.  Now, having watched it finally, I'm rather impressed.  I thought that it would be dumb as hell taking a cross country road race and confining it to a prison was retarded.  It's not that bad.  Sure, you've got to check your brains at the door but if you watch it for what it is, it's fun.  Statham is Statham and I'm perfectly fine with that.  I dig the guy.  Ian McShane is a badass.  Having him and Joan Allen in this picture is a big plus.  It gets silly and stupid when Anderson makes the girls' entrance look like a music video but then again, when so much of the movie has the feel of a well-produced video game, it makes more sense. You also get some stupid things like ejector seats.  Why would there be ejector seats in these cars in the first place?  Oh yeah, to help Ames (Statham) win the race.  Oops.  Spoilers.

The race is in 3 stages which means 3 races.  You just know the final race ends with Ames breaking out of the prison, and it does.  The races are fun but only to a point.  There are 3 of them (not including the one that opens the film with an AWESOME voice cameo by the original film's Frankenstein, David Carradine) so after a while they start to look alike and there's not much variation in the moves or the way they're filmed.  That everything is greyish doesn't help, either.  The ending feels kind of a cheep way out but it's fine for what it is.  I wouldn't be all that keen to see the sequel but it's got Sean Bean, Ving Rhames and Danny Trejo in it so now it's a given. Shit.  Now I see that Rhames and Trejo are in the third picture.  Now there's another one I'll have to watch.  It probably sucks 30 pounds of balls but it's Rhames and Trejo, man!

Death Proof (2007)

Director: Quentin Tarantino

Writer: Quentin Tarantino

Composer: None.

Starring: Kurt Russell, Zoe Bell, Rosario dawson, Vanessa Ferlito, Sydney Tamiia Poitier, Tracie Thoms, Rose McGowan, Jordan Ladd, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Quentin Tarantino, Eli Roth, Omar Doom, Michael Parks, James Parks

More info: IMDb

Tagline: A White-Hot Juggernaut At 200 Miles Per Hour!

Plot: Two separate sets of women are stalked at different times by a scarred stuntman who uses his "death proof" cars to execute his murderous plans.

My rating: Theatrical cut 8/10, Extended cut 7/10

Will I watch it again? Theatrical cut, yes.

I caught this opening night as GRINDHOUSE (2007).  I loved the fuck out of the entire double bill with fake trailers.  The theatrical cut was 87 minutes but even that felt like there could have been a little more trimming involved.  It's sure as shit better than the extended cut that I finally watched that runs just over a half hour longer.  The problem is, I liked a lot of the scenes added to the longer version but when you take it all in as a whole, it's way too fucking long which diminished the impact of that balls-out amazing final half hour with that fuck-me-sideways great car chase. Kurt Russell is the fucking man.  When he looks at the camera shortly before we see the first kill, I'm in hysterics with laughter.

Like in every QT film, the performances are great and fun. The big surprise of the show is stuntwoman, Zoe Bell playing herself.  She's amazing.  Having her do her own stunts really sets this apart from just about every other movie with great car stunts and chases.  She needs to have my babies.  She's awesome enough to kill any dingos that try to take them, too...and with her bare hands!!!  Tarantino continues to pick great songs and film music cues to fill his movies with.  I always enjoy hearing his eclectic soundtracks.  Watching the extended cut was nice and all but so many of the scenes (no matter how much I enjoyed them) felt like they would be better serving the picture as extras but it's nice to have them both ways.  I think I'm going to have to bite the bullet someday and pick up the GRINDHOUSE (2007) Blu-ray and relive that wonderful experience I had all those years ago.

Moonshine County Express (1977)

Director: Gus Trikonis

Writers: Hubert Smith, Daniel Ansley

Composer: Fred Werner

Starring: John Saxon, Susan Howard, William Conrad, Morgan Woodward, Claudia Jennings, Jeff Corey, Dub Taylor, Maureen McCormick, Albert Salmi, Len Lesser, Bruce Kimball, Candice Rialson, E.J. Andre

More info: IMDb

Tagline: 100 proof women runnin shine cross the county line!

Plot:  When a moonshiner is murdered, his three daughters take over the family business.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again? No.

This one's loaded with some familiar faces - Saxon, Conrad, Jennings, McCormick and one of my all time favorite character actors, Dub Taylor.  He's not in it much but the shit that spews from his mouth is funny.  It's a better than average drive-in hicksploitation picture that does a lot of what's come before but Gus Trikoni and co. were able to make this into a pretty fun flick.  Unlike a lot of movies in this genre it's not loaded with completely stupid and incompetent police.  Conrad plays the heavy that's got the town and the sheriff under his control and Howard and her sister's recently murdered pappy has a secret stash of some incredible hooch but Saxon is the only man who can come to their rescue.  There's a moment in the picture where one of the girls exclaims they need a man to help them.  Not just anyone but a man.  It's laughable and sad at the same time.  There are a few car chases and some action but the lack of any nudity keeps this on the family-friendly side of things.  It sure would have been fun to see this at a drive-in.  The funniest part for my money is when J.B. (Saxon) and Dot (Howard) are at a spacious bar.  There's a band playing, The Tom and Dink Show, and they're singing a song called, Fireman's Ball.  I couldn't understand the beginning of the lyrics but the rest of this hilarious country tune goes like this, "...the dog has rabies. The cesspool's overflowing and it looks like rain. Grandmaw's got syphilis and grandpa's de-ranged and all of their children had their sex changed."

Smokey and the Bandit (1977)

Director: Hal Needham

Starring: Burt Reynolds, Sally Field, Jerry Reed, Jackie Gleeson, Mike Henry, Paul Williams, Pat McCormic

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Meet Bo Darville, aka, "The Bandit." Smokies (Cops) hate him. Guys dig him. And even girls can't get enough of him!

Plot: Bandit and Cledus are two truck-driving southerners who accept a dare from big-shots Big and Little Enos to pick up a truckload of beer from Texas and return it to them within a specified amount of time. Picking it up is simple enough, but as they are leaving Texas, Bandit unwittingly picks up Carrie, a hitchhiking bride-to-be who just left her groom, Junior, at the altar. Junior, however, is the son of Sheriff Buford T. Justice. And when Buford and Junior discover what has happened, they go on a "high-speed pursuit" across the Southeast to catch the bandit.

My rating: 8/10

Will I watch it again? Yes.

Like CANNONBALL RUN (1981), this is another picture I grew up on.  Burt was the shit for a few years and this movie solidified it.  It's been decades since he was the shit but there's no denying that SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT was the the one that made him a superstar.  Anyway, it's a classic and in no small part to the director, Hal Needham, the great cast lead by Reynolds (the god of mustaches), Jackie Gleason (who shows us why he was called The Great One), Sally Field (was she ever cuter?), Jerry Reed (patron saint of Rednecks everywhere), Pat McCormick (tall AND funny) and Paul Williams (short AND funny) and then there's the great tunes by Jerry Reed, fun car chases and stunts.  Yeah, there are times where the music is Mickey-Mousey and embarrassing as all get-out but it's everything else in the picture that's just so much damn fun I quickly dismiss it, pull my face out of my palm and move on.  I saw the first sequel thirty years ago and that's it.  It's time for another visit.  By the way, did you know that Burt wore a girdle?

Now you do.

The Cannonball Run (1981)

Director: Hal Needham

Starring: Burt Reynolds, Roger Moore, Farrah Fawcett, Dom DeLuise, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Jack Elam, Adreienne Barbeau, Terry Bradshaw, Jackie Chan, Bert Convy, Jamie Farr, Peter Fonda, George Furth, Michael Hui, Bianca Jagger, Mel Tillis

More info: IMDb

Tagline: You'll root for them all...but you'll never guess who wins.

Plot: A wild, illegal, and popular cross-country car race is organized, and the eccentric entrants will do anything to win, including low-down, dirty tricks.

My rating:8/10

Will I watch it again? YES!

I grew up on this picture.  Back in the late 70s/early 80s Burt Reynolds was THE MAN.  This flick's got so much to like.  Sure, it's ridiculous but it's fun.  The huge, eclectic cast is priceless.  Any time you've got Burt & Dom working together it's special.  Seeing Dean & Sammy together has magic, too.  Classic.  It's neat seeing Jackie Chan in one of his first (if not the first) non-Hong Kong picture. Jack Elam's ugly mug cracks me up every time.  But for my money, it's seeing Roger Moore have an absolute blast playing with his James Bond persona.  Let's not forget about the cars, chases and stunts.  The 70s through to this movie relished in this shit.  If Hal Needham only ever did two things in his life, this picture and SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT (1977), the world public should pay him an annual tribute.  I don't know who's idea it was to have outtakes during the end credits but they should be given valuable prizes as well.  Sometimes when I see a shitty flick at the theater I'll imagine what the end credits would have been like if Burt & Dom suddenly showed up and cracked each other up as the names roll by.  Try it sometime.  It'll make the TWILIGHT saga easier to swallow for three and a half minutes.  Giggidy.

Redline (2007)

Director: Andy Cheng

Starring: Nathan Phillips, Nadia Bjorlin, Angus Macfadyen, Eddie Griffin, Tim Matheson, Jesse Johnson, Barbara Niven, Denyce Lawton

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Fear Nothing. Risk Everything.

Plot: A gorgeous young automobile fanatic--and front to the hottest unsigned band on the West coast--finds herself caught up in illegal drag-racing competitions organized by exotic car fanatics.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again? No.

Looking at the IMDb rating and reviews, and Rotton Tomatoes where it has a 0% score, you'd think this was a moldy turd of a movie.  That obviously didn't stop me.  Normally I'd stay clear of a picture of this type - car racing with a bunch of pretty people.  It sounds lame, typical and boring but because I'm a big fan of Tim Matheson, I gave it a shot and it's not that bad.  There's a little bit of use of split screen during one of the races but they never used that technique again which is too bad because I dig it when directors throw that into their pictures (when it's used to good effect, of course).  The songs that Natasha sings are incredibly cheesy and tongue-in-cheek.  The lyrics are all car metaphors and they're hilarious.

As far as everything else, it's OK.  The acting is fine for what this is, the story serves it's purpose, the soundtrack is loud and upbeat, and it ends as you would expect.  No one has reinvented the wheel, here, which is just like most every other movie.  It's a formula picture that's completely harmless and not all that bad.  Oh, and Tim Matheson has a sizable role and he's a lot of fun.  There are plenty of movies at your local theater right now that are worse than this.  Don't listen to the reviews...even this one.

Bullitt (1968)

Director: Peter Yates

Starring: Steve McQueen, Jacqueline Bisset, Robert Vaughn, Don Gordon, Simon Oakland, Norman Fell, Robert Duvall

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Steve McQueen As 'Bullitt'

Plot: Frank Bullitt is selected by Chalmers, a politician with ambition, to guard a Mafia informant. Bullitt's friend is shot and the witness is left at death's door by two hit men who seem to know exactly where the the witness was hiding. Bullitt begins a search for both the killer and the leak, but he must keep the witness alive long enough to make sure the killers return. Chalmers has no interest in the injured policeman or the killers, only in the hearings that will catapult him into the public eye and wants to shut down Bullitt's investigation.

My rating: 8.5/10

Will I watch it again? Yes.

Great flick. The car chase is classic but, after more than 40 years of car chases that built on this, it's difficult feel the impact that it had upon its release. I'd love to see this in a theater. Anyway, it's a no nonsense action crime drama that takes the time to show the tedious parts of police work. A modern film maker would probably chop a good 20 minutes out of it for fear of losing the audience to boredom but not Peter Yates. Hats off to sticking more closely to realism. McQueen is great as the titular character partly because he's so serious about the job. Cop movies these days have wisecracking detectives with something quirky about them. Not here. McQueen is a badass and one who is deeply focused on his job and seeing to it that justice is done. It's refreshing to watch a well-constructed action movie that doesn't rely on nonsense to earn its audience.

The Transporter (2002)

Directors: Louis Leterrier & Corey Yuen

Starring: Jason Statham, Qi Shu, Matt Schulze, Francois Berleand, Ric Young, Doug Rand, Didier Saint Melin

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Rules are made to be broken

Plot: Ex-Special Forces operator Frank Martin lives what seems to be a quiet life along the French Mediterranean, hiring himself out as a mercenary "transporter" who moves goods--human or otherwise--from one place to another. No questions asked. Carrying out mysterious and sometimes dangerous tasks in his tricked-out BMW, Frank adheres to a strict set of rules, which he never breaks. Rule One: Never change the deal. Rule Two: No names--Frank doesn't want to know whom he's working for, or what he's transporting. Rule Three: never look in the package. Frank's newest transport seems no different from the countless ones he's done in the past. He's been hired by an American known only as "Wall Street" to make a delivery; but when Frank stops along the route, he notices his package is moving. Violating Rule Three, Frank looks inside the bag, finding its contents to be a beautiful, gagged woman. Frank's steadfast adherence to his other two rules--which make up his basic code of survival--also quickly fails, hurtling him and his new companion on a road leading to shocking secrets, deadly complications, and the last thing that Frank ever expected to come to believe: that rules are made to be broken.

My rating: 6.5/10

Will I watch it again? Maybe to no.

I was disappointed when I saw this several years ago and I'm disappointed with it now. On one hand you've got a badass character doing badass things and on the other he does stupid shit that makes no damn sense. But let's forget all of that. This is a live action comic book and that's that. Frank Martin (Statham) defies logic and physics and delivers some great action scenes. Statham plays this character all the time and I like it. I hope he doesn't stop. He's really good at being Jason Statham. His co-star, Qi Shu (playing Lai) has moments of 'she can't act' but then I remember I'm watching a comic book where shit doesn't have to make sense. The bottom line is this is a goofy action movie that delivers a lot of over the top thrills, kills and explosions. It's not supposed to be remotely serious but I wish they had at least tried. It's a B-picture waffling back and forth to an A-picture. Pick your destiny and just go with it. Although I'm not entirely satisfied with this film I will give the two (so far) sequels a spin.

Used Cars (1980)

Director: Robert Zemeckis

Starring: Kurt Russell, Jack Warden, Gerrit Graham, Frank McRae, Deborah Harmon, Joe Flaherty, David L. Lander, Michael McKean, Alfonso Arau, Al Lewis

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Trust us.

Plot: Used car salesman Rudy Russo needs money to run for State Senate, so he approaches his boss Luke. Luke agrees to front him the $10,000 he needs, but then encounters an "accident" orchestrated by his brother Roy, who runs the car lot across the street. Roy is hoping to claim title to his brother's property because Roy's paying off the mayor to put the new interstate through the area. After Luke disappears, it's all out war between the competing car shops, and no nasty trick is off limits as Rudy and his gang fight to keep Roy from taking Luke's property. Then Luke's daughter shows up.

My rating: 8/10

Will I watch it again? YES!

JESUS PALOMINO! I laughed my fucking ass off! Hell, I've known about this picture since it came out yet I somehow never got to it until now. HOLY SHIT!

"It's too...fucking...high!" Classic.

I expected 90 minutes of two neighboring competing used car lots trying to one-up each other to get customers but I had no idea it would be a near-two hour comedy goldmine loaded with car stunts and outrageousness. EVERYONE is hilarious from Kurt Russell, to Jack Warden, the always reliably funny Frank McRae to Al Lewis (as a take-no-shit judge that'll leave you howling). This movie is goddamn hysterical from start to finish.

Stunts, you say? The last 20 minutes has got some kick ass car stunts and with some very daring shit done by Russell. You don't see actors doing real shit like that these days. This was made at the tail end of the 70s, a decade that pushed the envelope in car chases and stunts and there's some amazing work in this one.

One minor thing I got a kick out of was how many people in this picture had also just worked on 1941 (1979) behind and in front of the camera. Steven Spielberg who directed 1941 was also one of the producers of this one. It was a gas picking people out who participated in one of Spielberg's most hated, but one of my favorite, films.

If you haven't seen this yet then you owe it to yourself. USED CARS is one hell of a funny picture and I'm kicking myself in the pants that it's taken 30 years to finally get around to seeing it. To think of all the laughs I have deprived myself of for three decades. That's a high price to pay for procrastination. "It's too...fucking...high!"

Here's a little bonus of something I found...