Dirty Cop No Donut (1999)

AKA: Low Down Dirty Cop

Director: Tim Ritter

Writer: Tim Ritter

Starring: Joel D. Winkoop, Bill Cassinelli, Michael Hoffman Jr., Andrew Gulbrandsen, Lindsay Horgan, Kathleen Ritter, Gertina Willemse

More info: IMDb

Tagline: It's NOT just a movie!

Plot: A "shockumentary" which follows Officer Friendly, a psychotic policeman, on a rampage of sex, drugs, murder and other worldly pleasures.

My rating: 5/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

Here's another example of the boneheads who added 'comedy' to this film's genre section on IMDb.  It's not funny at all and the only thing where writer/director Ritter tried anything remotely funny was at the end where you read what happened to each of the cop's victims.  This is essentially a found footage like video that follows what seems like a rogue cop over the course of one night as he wreaks havoc on everyone he encounters.  I suppose it's not an easy role for an actor but Wynkoop doesn't handle it well.  Maybe in small spurts he's tolerable but after a short while it gets old fast and getting to the end of the short run time of 77 minutes is a chore.  For starters he doesn't feel real enough.  He's got his moments but there's a lot of repetition in his dialogue which grows stale by the minute.  If you made a drinking game of taking a shot every time he says "boy" you'd be hammered in minutes.  Maybe I should've done that...but I didn't know...plus I was young and needed the money.  The biggest question I had was how will this end for Officer Friendly and it's not interesting, compelling or satisfying except for one thing and that's the title card that immediately follows the scene that tells us a little about him that fills us in on what's going on with this guy.  It's an OK flick at best.  It's a criminal endurance test.

Willow Creek (2013)

Director: Bobcat Goldthwait

Writer: Bobcat Goldthwait

Starring: Alexie Gilmore, Bryce Johnson, Laura Montagna, Bucky Sinister, Peter Jason, Timmy Red, Steven Streufert, Shaun L. White Guy Sr., Nita Rowley, Tom Yamarone

More info: IMDb

Tagline: EXISTING SOON

Plot: A couple go into the woods of the Pacific Northwest to find the location of the famous 1967 Patterson Bigfoot sighting.  Will they find what they're looking for or will it find them?

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

I REALLY like Bobcat Goldthwait's directorial work.  A lot.  This one finds him delving into found footage territory.  It's OK but that might not be entirely the fault of any one person or even the film.  Found footage has been done to death.  Let's get to the good.  It looks good, the locations are gorgeous.  That's a huge plus.  The film opens with the Bigfoot hunters Jim and Kelly (he's a believer and she is not) driving on a twisted road very much like the opening in THE SHINING (1980) to the point that I thought it could be the same spot.  The characters are likable, especially Kelly.  Jim's obsession can get a little annoying but I get it.  When you're passionate about something it shines through, especially when no one else shares it.  It's not clear why he's still an ass about her not believing and you get the idea that he's just finding out.  That would be something you'd think they would've discussed at length prior to this little adventure.

They meet some fun and some unsavory characters along the way until they're ultimately alone in the woods in their tent.  That's when the real fun starts.  From here, it's all noises outside the tent.  There's an 18 minute long single take of the two of them listening and getting scared.  It goes on longer than you'd expect and it's impressive.  One of the things I found frightening about THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT (1999) were the noises at night, that which you couldn't see and your mind had to fill in the blanks.  That's much more powerful sometimes than seeing the boogeyman.  It was the same thing for this film.  And what happens afterward is very good and nicely handled.  This was reportedly shot in five days.  I wonder what the budget was.  It couldn't have been much considering the small crew needed, few actors, short shooting schedule, no score, etc.  It's a good movie but if you're burned out on found footage then you should probably keep on moving.  I'm a sucker for horror movies set in the woods so I've got a built in higher tolerance for this sort of thing.  Now I want to go to Willow Creek and pitch a tent with my best gal.

The Dark Sky DVD features the film in anamorphic widescreen.  The extras are a commentary with Goldthwait and the two leads, a deleted scene (fun but short - 5 min), a pointless Bryce Johnson's making of featurette (utterly pointless.  It's 12 minutes of a crew member trying on Bigfoot feet to walk around the creek bed) and the trailer (anamorphic widescreen).

Paranormal Activity (2007)

Director: Oren Peli

Writer: Oren Peli

Starring: Katie Featherston, Micha Sloat, Mark Fredrichs, Amber Armstrong, Ashley Palmer, Crystal Cartwright, Spencer Marks, Randy McDowell, James Piper

More info: IMDb

Tagline: What Happens When You Sleep?

Plot: After moving into a suburban home, a couple becomes increasingly disturbed by a nightly demonic presence.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

Geez.  It took me long enough to get around to this and it played out about as I expected.  I liked that the found footage didn't have any crazy angles or shots that would betray how the shots could possible be made, taking you out of the reality of the film.  They got that right.  This is a great example of how to make a movie with very little money.  Is it scary?  Not for my seasoned eyes but it's the last twenty minutes that deliver 'the goods', however little there are.  Katie being dragged out of bed and out of the room by the entity was pretty damn cool as were the times she got out of bed and stood there for hours.  Those were nice moments. For my money some of the best bits had to do with only the sound like the heavy steps coming up the stairs.  I suppose the ending was fine if not too abrupt.  It's not good enough to endure the 4 sequels it spawned. The alternate endings sound infinitely better than the version I saw.  They both have Katie murder Micah, one with the police showing up days later and the other with Katie slitting her throat in front of the camera.  I would have preferred either of those and my score would have risen as would the possibility of seeing at least the first sequel. 

Mockingbird (2014)

Director: Bryan Bertino

Writers: Bryan Bertino, Sam Esmail

Composer: no score (was the end credits cue written for the film?  It sounded like it. Nice piece.)

Starring: Natalie Alyn Lind, Emily Alyn Lind, Alyvia Alyn Lind, Audrey Marie Anderson, Tod Stashwick, Lee Garlington, Spence List, Benjamin Stockham, Alexandra Lydon, Barak Hardley, Isabella Murad, Colby French, Kai caster, Elizabeth Kouri, David Michie, Danny Vasquez, Earnestine Phillips, Yelyna De Leon

More info: IMDb


Plot: A couple are given a camera and a set of instructions which they must follow or else someone will die.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again? No.

One night a few months back the Mrs. and I sat down with the lights out for a couple of found footage horror flicks.  That wasn't our intention but it's how it worked out while browsing Netflix streaming.  Found footage flicks are more miss than hit for me.  If my interest starts waning then I find myself looking for the seams and all those little things that make it implausible that someone's holding a camera without the intent of making a movie.  If it's a good picture then that generally doesn't matter.  This one's pretty good.  We bounce between three stories not knowing where and when they will converge but why.  The one with the clown (I forget the guy's name) was the most fun.  I really liked that guy.  So how about that ending, huh?  When the characters all collide with each other for the big climax it's not all that climactic.  Without spoiling it, the way it plays out isn't as strong as it needed to be and finding out who was behind the whole thing was weak and ineffective.  This picture deserved a stronger finish. 

V/H/S/2 (2013)

Directors: Simon Barrett, Jason Eisener, Gareth Evans, Gregg Hale, Eduardo Sanchez, Timo Tjahjanto, Adam Wingard

Writers: Simon Barrett, jamie Nash, Timo Tjahjanto, Gareth Evans, Jason Elsener, John Davies, Brad Miska

Composers: James Guymon, Steve Moore, Aria Prayogi, Fajar Yuskemal

Starring: Too many people to list.  Sorry, cast.

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Who's tracking you?

Plot: Searching for a missing student, two private investigators break into his house and find collection of VHS tapes. Viewing the horrific contents of each cassette, they realize there may be dark motives behind the student's disappearance.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again? No.

I REALLY liked V/H/S (2012).  It was different and, what's more, the stories were well crafted and damn entertaining.  The wraparound story was weak but I'm not watching a horror anthology for the wraparound business.  The wraparound on this first sequel isn't as weak as the first film but it's got issues.  Again, I'm not watching this for that.  The best story was "A Ride in the Park" and it was the best by a good stretch.  I liked where it kept going, hitting one interesting beat after another.  The other stories were OK but there's little stuff with each one that bothered me enough to stop caring before it was over.  Some of these issues were present in the first film but the stories were told so well that I could overlook them.  Now these things are back in the sequel and they're totally unnecessary and bothersome. I'll watch the third one, hoping they try and stick to some semblance of realism (I'm getting sick and damn tired of seeing the images tweaking out like micro power outages or surges - it's getting fucking old and annoying as fuck).  I realize it's a difficult thing to pull off, using this found footage gimmick with the horror anthology. At least there was one story that was worth watching it for.  There's usually at least one. 

Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

Director: Ruggero Deodato

Starring: Robert Kerman, Francesca Ciardi, Perry Pirkanen, Luca Barbareschi, Salvatore Basile, Ricardo Fuentes, Carl Gabriel Yorke

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Ripout! Barbeque! Devour! How long can you take it?

Plot: A New York University professor returns from a rescue mission to the Amazon rainforest with the footage shot by a lost team of documentarians who were making a film about the area's local cannibal tribes.

My rating: 6.5/10

Will I watch it again? Maybe.

I've been meaning to watch this one for years and I've finally gotten around to it thanks to a reader's suggestion. My only other experience with anything close to this genre is CANNIBAL FEROX (1981) (a fun Umberto Lenzi cannibal flick even better than this one) and MOUNTAIN OF THE CANNIBAL GOD (1978) (another really fun flick). I was hoping that this picture was going to live up to the hype it has received. Not bad, I suppose.




It's the very first 'found footage' film made and for that you've got to give the writer, Gianfranco Clerici, and director, Deodato, some well-deserved credit. This flick is notorious for a number of reasons but largely for how effective it was in convincing a lot of people that it was real. READ THIS for an interesting read on what went down. It's fascinating.





I can handle just about anything when it comes to movie gore but I can't stand the killing of animals like what you'll find in most of these cannibal movies. Fortunately a lot of these scenes were re-used in other films of the genre (the Italians made most of them). Nevertheless, I fast forward through them. I can stomach even the most realistic human mutilation because I know it's fake.


For me the big money shot is the most famous image of the movie that comes pretty close to the end and it's a doosey. Even knowing how they did it still has me floored at the talented folks who made it happen. Hell, all of the gore effects are top notch. I love it.


I'd give this flick a better score if the performances weren't so over the top. It could be due to the English dubbing (the original Italian track was not an option on the disc I have) but still, the actors featured on the found footage portion are overly childish and cruel that don't quite fit regardless of what language it's in. They certainly hammer home the point that we're probably more savage than those primitives we perceive as savages. It's a pretty fun flick and it's got my respect for being a first but if you get a chance to see CANNIBAL FEROX you'll probably find that one more entertaining and owing a large debt to CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST.

Apollo 18 (2011)

Director: Gonzalo Lopez-Gallego

Starring: Warren Christie, Lloyd Owen, Ryan Robbins

More info: IMDb

Tagline: There's a reason we've never gone back to the moon.

Plot: Decades-old found footage from NASA's abandoned Apollo 18 mission, where two American astronauts were sent on a secret expedition, reveals the reason the U.S. has never returned to the moon.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again? Probably not but I'd get a kick out of seeing the DVD extras.

It's rare I ever go to the theater completely cold on a movie. I knew nothing about this except it's a found footage flick about astronauts on the moon. OK, so maybe I wasn't totally cold but I hadn't seen the trailer or anything else about it. I'm a sucker for real-life space exploration so anytime there's an outer space flick that's somewhat grounded in reality, especially when it's got NASA written all over it, it's like space porn to me.


I dug this flick. It's a great premise that's executed very well. I can do without some of the modern film making techniques used in order to 'jazz it up for the kids' like the overuse of sound (some of it in space where it doesn't belong, giving the creatures clicky and screechy noises, etc) and some flashy camera movies. Those are minor issues that would have made the film better had they not employed them but I still liked it. Within about 10 minutes we're in space so there's no fucking around getting ready for the trip. That was great. At 86 minutes it felt like the right length.


I like the ideas that were thrown out there like finding an abandoned Russian lunar lander and going into a darkened crater. Neat stuff. That this was even made is remarkable. I hope it does well enough at the box office and beyond because the creative forces behind this project did a very good job indeed. And for you shaky cam haters like me, there's very little of it and I was totally cool with what was there. Give it a shot. It looked great on the big theater screen.