Won Ton Ton: The Dog Who Saved Hollywood (1976)

Director: Michael Winner

Writers: Arnold Schulman, Cy Howard

Composer: Neal Hefti

Starring: Madeline Kahn, Bruce Dern, Teri Garr, Art Carney and TONS of famous names and faces you'll recognize from the early days of film and comedy

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Introducing The Dog Who Launched 1000 Stars.

Plot: In 1923 Estie comes to Hollywood to become an actress, but the dog, that followed her becomes the star. But Hollywood has its own rules of success.

My rating: 6.5/10

Will I watch it again? I might if for no other reason than to try and spot all of the greats that I missed the first time around.

Is this good?  Not really.  But the reason you need to see this (that is, if you're like me and LOVE old Hollywood and comedy) is to see the tremendous amount of great character actors and movie stars of old like Sterling Holloway, William Demarest, Virginia Mayo, Henny Youngman, Rory Calhoun, Billy Barty, Jackie Coogan, Ricardo Montalban, Aldo Ray, Ethel Merman, Yvonne De Carlo, Joan Blondell, Andy Devine, Phil Silvers, Johnny Weissmuller, Rudy Vallee, George Jessel, Rhonda Flemming, Tab Hunter and on and on and on.  Plus it's set in Hollywood in 1923.  The dialogue from the leads is often pretty bad and it makes the film feel cheaper than it should.  Neal Hefti's score is hit and miss but all of that is offset by seeing one famous "once was" after another and a lot of them have some really funny bits.  This is why you should see it and not because of the story or anything else.  I had a grin on my face for over half the picture and I laughed out loud quite a few times.  It's currently on Netflix streaming.  This is definitely not a film for most people but then I'm not most people.

Popcorn (1991)

Directors: Mark Herrier, Alan Ormsby

Writers: Mitchell Smith, Alan Ormsby

Composer: Paul Zaza

Starring: Tony Roberts, Jill Schoelen, Torn Villard, Dee Wallace, Derek Rydall, Malcolm Danare, Elliott Hurst, Ivette Soler, Freddie Simpson, Kelly Jo Minter, Karen Lorre, Ray Walston

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Pay to get in, pray to get out.

Plot: A group of teenagers preparing an old horror movie show in an abandoned theatre discover a recording made by an actual murderer who died long ago. Very soon a shadowy figure resembling the killer starts stalking them one by one.

My rating: 6.5/10

Will I watch it again? No.

I really wanted to like this one.  The set-up is right up my alley and I'm a big fan of Tony Roberts.  He's great in everything.  For the most part I enjoyed it.  I dug the old movies that were created for this picture, especially the one with kick ass Bruce Glover!!!

The big reveal of who the killer is was loads of fun.  While the film moves along OK it's got some spots that felt like they should have been shorter.  It's only 90 minutes long but it felt like it should have been a few shorter or ramp up the exploitation or something.  It's not all that bad but it's not as good as I would have liked it to be.

The Artist (2011)

Director: Michel Hazanavicius

Starring: Jean Dujardin, Berenice Bejo, John Goodman, James Cromwell, Penelope Ann Miller, Missi Pyle, Beth Grant, Ed Lauter, Joel Murray, Malcolm McDowell

More info: IMDb

Plot: A silent movie star meets a young dancer, but the arrival of talking pictures sends their careers in opposite directions.

My rating: 9/10

Will I watch it again? Yes.

Want to know how behind I am in writing up movies I've seen?  I saw this in the theater a year ago.  Great flick.  I was floored.  Not only is this a fun movie that's able to pull off being a silent film but it also looks and feels (though not always) like it was made 90 years ago.  It's funny and touching.  I applaud everyone involved for pulling this off.  Did it deserve Best Picture last year?  I can't say with certainty but I was very pleased it won.  I laughed and I cried.  The scene where Peppy (Bejo) puts on Valentin's (Dujardin) coat was brilliant.  The two leads were magnificent.  What a delightful picture.  What a lot of short sentences.

American Movie (1999)

Director: Chris Smith

Starring: Mark Borchardt & Mike Schank

More info: IMDB

Plot: On the northwest side of Milwaukee, Mark Borchardt dreams the American dream: for him, it's making movies. Using relatives, local theater talent, slacker friends, his Mastercard, and $3,000 from his Uncle Bill, Mark strives over three years to finish "Coven," a short horror film. His own personal demons (alcohol, gambling, a dysfunctional family) plague him, but he desperately wants to overcome self-doubt and avoid failure. In moments of reflection, Mark sees his story as quintessentially American, and its the nature and nuance of his dream that this film explores.

My rating: 9/10

Will I watch it again? Absolutely!


I just can't find enough words to adequately describe how wonderfully fucked up and fun this doc is. Mark is a hoot to watch as a man driven by his passion, held back by his limited means. His family is a riot and his best friend, Mike, is one of the unintentionally funny real-life characters that you just can't help but love.


It's an incredible insight into a movie fan's world of wanting to be a part of something bigger. You cheer him on just about every step of the way. He's fearless and selfish to a fault. He does take advantage of his aged uncle Bill but Bill's sad existence ends up overshadowing it. And it helps that Bill has some wickedly funny things to say that fail to register with his obsessed and oblivious nephew.


The emotions are all over the place but not without too many pain-inducing belly laughs to count mixed in. This doc is a scream and I cannot recommend this one enough.

Hollywood Boulevard (1976)

Director: Joe Dante & Allan Arkush

Starring: Dick Miller (!!!), Candice Rialson, Mary Woronov and Paul Bartel

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: The street where starlets are made!

Plot: At Hollywood B movie factory Miracle Pictures, a good movie really is a miracle. Aspiring actress Candy Hope is looking for her big break, but what she gets instead is a part in Miracle's latest oeuvre. She's happy anyway -- until somebody starts killing off the film's starlets.

My Rating: 5.5/10

Would I watch it again? Nope.

#34 on Drive-In Delirium Volume 1 (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)

Mary McQueen is the killer. Oops. Spoilers.

So how badly do you rate a comedy that you don't find funny? Maybe I just wasn't in the mood. I don't know.

The good...

Dick Miller, one of the greatest character actors ever. He's great as the talent agent and he gets a lot of screen time.


Mary Woronov. She needs to have my babies. You may remember her from the previous year's DEATH RACE 2000 as Calamity Jane.


Nudity. There's plenty of it. And not that jacked-up fake tits shit you got starting in the 1980s.


The cars from DEATH RACE 2000!


Paul Bartel (director of DEATH RACE 2000) as the maniacal director.


The AWESOMELY cheezy music video by Commander Cody and his Lost Planet Airmen performing, "Everybody's Doin' It". It's catchy as hell!

A room covered with cool movie posters!


Did I mention Dick Miller?

The not so good...

I barely laughed at anything that wasn't Dick Miller.

WAY too much footage from Corman's films used as the "movie within a movie". At first it was cute but that soon wore off as it was done far too much. You'd have the girls do this...


and then this...


It sounds like a hoot but the novelty wears off. It's hilarious when used in a movie that's not trying to be funny.


There's some clear talent in front of (but not all of the actors - Candice Rialson playing the lead, Candy, doesn't fare as well) and behind the camera. But there's only so much you can do with weak material. I'm sure they did the best they could with what they had to work with. Hell, they had 10 days to shoot and only $60k to work with. But Dick Miller is a riot!


I had more fun watching the following Q&A after a 2008 screening. I think had I seen these first I would have dug the picture more than I did...or didn't. The last video is the trailer with commentary, btw. It's definitely worth seeing.

Tropic Thunder (2008)

Director: Ben Stiller Not Funny

Starring: Ben Stiller Not Funny, Robert Downey Jr, Jack Black, Steve Coogan, Nick Nolte

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: The movie they think they're making... isn't a movie anymore.

Plot: Through a series of freak occurrences, a group of actors shooting a big-budget war movie are forced to become the soldiers they are portraying.



My Rating: 7.5/10

Would I watch it again? Oh, yeah. It's worth it just for Downey

I wish I could say Ben Stiller is back after having run out of funny a long time ago. I wish I could say it's a great action movie. I wish I could say it's one of the best satires on Hollywood actors in years. I really wish I could say I loved it.

Months ago, when I first saw the photo of Downey in character makeup as the black Army Sgt, Kirk Lazarus, I was in tears with laughter and disbelief. It took me a while to see the actor underneath the character. Then the trailer hit and I was completely sold despite Stiller being attached to it.


I remember watching and LOVING Stiller's 6-episode, short-lived, show, THE BEN STILLER SHOW back in it's first run in 1990. THAT was funny. It wasn't anything but a showcase for Stiller to goof on celebrities like Tom Cruise and Oliver Stone in some really funny skits. After that he seemed to play the same type of character - an earnest man clueless to his stupidity. It got old and fast. When he showed up in a cameo in the otherwise funny ANCHORMAN (2004) I'd had enough. I really had high hopes that this could be a turning point since he also directed it and co-wrote a story that had so much ripe material to draw on. Unfortunately, he only made it halfway back.

I liked the film but I was disappointed at the same time. Downey is absolutely amazing and hysterical. His speech to Stiller about how Stiller made a mistake in going "full retard" in a film as opposed to "half retard" like Hanks (Forrest Gump) and Hoffman (Rainman) is priceless. He's the only main character that wasn't wasted. Sure, they could have had more Downey and I would have loved it but what was there seemed fine. Stiller did do a good job with giving everyone a few moments to shine, just not enough.


The film opens with trailers and commercials for each of the four leads. Downey's was the best by far. The rest were lackluster which is too bad. After they were done I was stunned that that was the best they could come up with. Jack Black can be funny and he pulls off some funny gags but a lot of them fell flat. Missed opportunity there. Brandon T. Jackson, as rapper-turned-actor Alpa Chino, had some good bits but not enough. And Stiller just did the same thing he always does, has his bits of childishness fused with stupid, blind, phony courage. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

Apocalypse SPOILERS:

Tom Cruise makes a disguised elongated cameo as a ruthless studio exec. I normally loathe Cruise but he had some hilarious moments but not all of his bits got laughs like it seemed like they were going for. His big-ass dance scene at the beginning of the end credits was just not funny. It looked like it was supposed to be but it wasn't and it went on WAY TOO LONG. It seemed like they had this huge star goofing around so let's stroke his ego and let him go at it.

Matthew McConaughey, who I don't normally care for, is pretty damn funny as Stiller's "I'll do ANYTHING for you" agent.

END OF SPOILERS...YARRRRR!

Fortunately the movie feels pretty short at 107 minutes and it's beautifully shot in Hawaii. I'm certainly glad I saw it. Downey had me howling just about every time he opened his mouth but the rest of the film felt like a string of "that's the best you could do?" missed opportunities. He should've gone half-retard.

Stunts (1977)

Director: Mark L. Lester

Starring: Robert Forster, Fiona Lewis, Ray Sharkey, Joanna Cassidy, Bruce Glover, Richard Lynch

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: Dying is one hell of a way to make a living.

Plot: After a stunt man dies while he is involved in the making of a motion picture, his brother takes his place in order to find out what really happened.

My Rating: 5/10

Would I watch it again? It was OK enough for just the one time

Here's the second half of my stuntman double feature last night. It worked out great 'cause it's on the same DVD (it's in the 50-movie All Stars Collection that I picked up for $11). Too bad the quality's shit like the rest. These 50-movie packs are all worth getting but the quality is all over the place. Hey, what do you expect for 11 or 12 bucks?

Although not as fun as EVEL KNIEVEL (1971) this one's got some good things going for it. First of all there's the cast full of faces I KNOW you'll recognize. You've got...

Robert "Can we get Robert Blake? No? Then how about" Forster

Bruce "Crazy mutherfucker like his son, Crispin" Glover

Joanna Cassidy

Ray Sharkey

Richard Lynch

It's neat to see so many recognizable faces here. Glover doesn't come off as well but then he usually comes across really disturbing in his films. I loved him in DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER (1971). Forster is a very good actor and under-used so when I saw that he was in this I jumped on it. It's pretty much a whodunnit with lots of stunt work. I'm a big fan of movies about making movies so this is right up my alley.

Trying to solve the mystery (which plays out like a TV movie of the week) is kind of fun. They REALLY go out of their way to make you think it's Pete (Lynch), so much so that you just KNOW it's not him so you start looking at everybody. It's a cheap game to play but it helps pass the time. Several stuntmen die and we always see it coming. That I had a problem with. If we know that something could happen then why can't we be given the opportunity to think that maybe something "won't" happen? They telegraph each death minutes beforehand. I found it distracting and cheap. I would have liked to have been surprised.

It's got more hokey conventions like when Glen (Forster) and Pete are watching the footage that was just taken. The dailies are already edited to what we saw!?! They had four cameras on for that stunt. We should see four different angles. It's stupid shit like that that hurts the film.

Then there's this punk ass stupid prick...


I wanted this guy dead from the moment they showed his dumbass mug. He's just a moron that wants to be a stuntman so he annoys the fuck out of the others to let him work for them. They let him start by washing and cleaning up. The next thing you know this dipshit falls backward off of a 40 foot ladder onto a free fall bag to show everyone he can do it. That fucktard would have had the snot beat out of him for putting himself in danger AND for deflating the bag, causing a delay in shooting. Later he ruins another shot by DRIVING A CAR ON ITS' TWO SIDE WHEELS AND CRASHES!!! All they do is yell at him. How the fuck is this acceptable to these people? I would imagine that ANY stunt person would have kicked the shit out of this guy and then put him into the crashed car, doused it with gasoline, set it on fire and have a cookout. W...T...F? I had a reaaaallll problem with this guy.



There's a scene in this picture that had me welling up with emotion. One of the stuntmen, Chuck (Glover), falls to what seems his death. He's alive and in perfect hibernation. Sorry. I couldn't help myself. So he's in the hospital and everyone's told that he will never walk or even speak again. Earlier in the film they had been talking about how horrible that very thing would be. Glen takes the coin in mid-toss and nobly volunteers himself and enters Chuck's room alone knowing what he has to do. He talks to Chuck for a couple of minutes and then flips the switch that, in effect, takes him off of life support. I can't describe how well this scene was handled. No music. Just the cool, centered emotion of Glen and the doomed, motionless look on Chuck's face. I was moved. It surprised me.

I know what I'm watching next

You know there's got to be the "big stunt" that's going to kill Glen because it's the same stunt that killed his younger brother at the start of the picture. We still don't know who the killer is until the nosey reporter/love interest BJ (Fiona Lewis) discovers the truth moments before Glen performs the stunt. It's a race to the film site to stop him from being killed. Predictably, she makes after the stunt has started. Happy ending everybody. Life is good and some people die while others survive. BJ is locked in Glen's embrace when she says, "A very impressive ending" to wit he replies, "Just like in the movies." Kill me. Kill me now.

It's certainly worth watching but only once. There are so many familiar faces that this makes it a no-brainer for a lot of you who love 70s cinema. Having some cool stunts thrown in the mix doesn't hurt. But, PLEASE! They could have at LEAST come up with a better title! STUNTS? WTF? You have got to be kidding! Their alternate title is just as bad. WHO IS KILLING THE STUNTMEN? I'm literally beside myself.

Hollywood Man (1976)

Director: Jack Starrett

Starring: Williams "Badass" Smith, Jennifer Billingsley, Ray Girardin, Jude Farese, Don Stroud

More Info: IMDB

Plot: Hollywood B-Movie actor, Rafe Stoker, has sunk $130,000 of his own money into the production of his own film but he can't seem to get any backers to finance the rest of the picture. He turns to the mob. He agrees to their exorbitant terms in order to complete his film. If he is unable to complete the picture on time he will lose everything; his home, future royalties from his past films as well as the rights to this current one. The mob has plans to see that he doesn't finish on time.

My Rating: 8/10

Would I watch it again? Damn straight!

I love movies that deal with making movies. THE STUNT MAN (1980) is one of this best. But that one stretches the believability a bit. This one feels real. William Smith co-wrote this with Ray Girardin (who also plays the biker hired to delay Smith's film). Smith obviously wrote what he knew. His background in B-pictures and his long acting career (he started at the age of 8 in 1942 and has since been in more than 270 films (over 100 by '76) and TV shows!!!) served him well. He'd done a number of Biker pictures in the 60s and early 70s and he used all of that to create this film.


It's gritty. It's real. I'm convinced no one could have played Stoker better than Smith did. He really looks and behaves like someone with the pedigree his character has. But of course Smith had all of that. He wrote what he knew after all. He's loaded with charisma and you believe that he's a B-movie actor turned director. The biker gang sent to foul things up is more of a group of bumbling, dim-witted caricatures but that doesn't really take much away from the overall film. Absolutely everything works here.

Stoker's frustrations are genuinely felt. The frustrations of the crew around him as a result of him are felt. They fight (argue) like real people fight. Though I've never made a film and I've never been on a film shoot, I believe this to be as close to a "fly on the wall" movie making movie as you can get without being on the set yourself. The realism is incredible.

Naturally, Stoker's making a biker picture so there's plenty of stunt work with cars crashing and bikes jumping. You get to see some of the setups involved and lots of the behind-the-scenes stuff that just makes the picture even better. The acting is pretty fucking solid. Smith impressed the hell out of me. This guy's good and it's no surprise to see that he's got more than 270 acting credits and that he's still going strong. Here's a guy you'd like to have lunch with and hear stories about his career.

"Here's Smith (as Stoker) looking like Jack Palance being kissed by Calamity Jane"

The leader of the biker gang hired by the mob to fuck things up, Ray Giradin (Harvey), does a pretty good job, too. His sidekick looks like something out of a Hanna Barbera cartoon. At one point, when leaving the hospital, he leans over the counter and reaches towards the receptionist when the frame freezes out of focus and you hear the woman scream. Then it cuts to the two of them driving in a van with Rhodes driving and saying, "I didn't mean to kill that woman, Harvey". WTF? Surely there was more to it than that in the uncut version. Oh, and Stoker's girlfriend Julie is played by Mary Woronov. Don't recognize her name? She played Calamity Jane in DEATHRACE 2000 the previous year. Neat.

What did I not like? The shitty fullscreen copy I have on DVD that is apparently the only way outside of a 35mm print I'm going to get it. Not only is it fullscreen but it appears to be a print used for TV with music swells for the commercial breaks, the nude scenes abruptly cut out in the nick of time, and the language being edited. And because it's fullscreen there are moments when it hurts...real...bad. Like when you see a bike ramp in the middle of the street and you hear a motorcycle coming from the right side, see it jump the ramp and land off screen on the left. Sad. Just fucking sad.

"FUCK I hate fullscreen!"

And just at the point when the film starts to drag a little we get this unexpected juicy scene. EASY SPOILERS.... Harvey and his pals are on a beach. Harvey picks up a sniper rifle and then, in slow motion, he starts picking off his pals ending with his skank girlfriend as she's running down the beach wearing a stolen wedding dress!!! FUCKIN'-A. END OF SPOILERS...YARRRR

And then there's the ending. HOLY FUCKING SHIT DID I JUST GET ASS RAPED OR WHAT?

APOCALYPSE SPOILERS...Stoker doesn't finish the film on time but the mob guys seem nice about it. He and his girl are waiting at a diner booth to meet with one of them to get some money back. He knows he's lost the film but he's finished it and he's very proud of it. Now he just wants some money so he can go back home. As they're waiting and talking about their bleak future two guys come in and start unloaded their guns into them. End of movie! END OF SPOILERS...YARRRR

How's THAT for an ending? I can't say enough about this film. I only wished I owned a widescreen unedited copy. I would show the world. It's an amazing piece of work and it's one of those films that, when you discover it, it keeps you excited and reminds you why you love movies. It's the kind of film that you hope you'll stumble across one day, one of those hidden gems. So, now that I've built it up so much you'll probably think it sucks. Great. Now I'm depressed.

If anyone knows where I can get a widescreen copy PLEASE email me.