International Gorillay (1990)

Director: Jan Mohammed

Writers: Nasir Adib, Zahoor Ahmed, Sikandar Khanna

Composers: M. Arshad, Manzoor Ashraf

Starring: Afzaal Ahmad, Albela, Ghulam Mohiuddin, Neeli, Mustafa Qureshi, Rangeela, Babra Sharif, Javed Sheikh

More info: IMDb

Plot: The Islamic world is in crisis with the publication of Salman Rushdie's Satanic Verses. Rushdie wants Pakistan, the stronghold of Islam, to fall. Determined to foil his plans are a trio of brothers who form a holy army to destroy Rushdie. Rushdie plans to drive the final nails into the coffin of Islam by opening a new chain of Casino's and Disco's spreading contemptable vice and debauchery. Mustafa Qureshi, hen pecked to death by his demented wife, decides to call it a day with his day job at the Police station and induct his unemployed brothers to create a Mujahid (God's soldiers) trio whose sole aim is to seek out and destroy the despised Salman Rushdie before he manages to destory all virtue and decency on the planet.

My rating: 5.5/10

Will I watch it again? No.

Ugh.  167 minutes, 13 shy of 3 hours.  It's funny, there's a ton of action and it's got Batmen!

That's right, BatMEN, why I don't know, but they show up and leave.  Sure, this SOUNDS like fun and it would be for about a half hour but it's 167 minutes, 13 shy of 3 hours.

The action is quick, or rather the editing is lightning fast.  The bad guy is Salman Rushdie, hilarious, looking like Jerry Lewis for some reason.

The songs are fun.

It's a lot like a Bollywood film but the HUGE issue is, besides that it's 167 minutes, 13 shy of 3 hours, is the sound is fucking loud.  This isn't some, "dude, just turn the sound down".  No, it's non-stop loud music, loud explosions, loud everything.  The soundtrack is drowning in noise and it doesn't let up for 167 minutes, 13 shy of 3 hours.  It's harsh.  Woof.

For 167 minutes, 13 shy of 3 hours, the Islamic world is doing everything it can to kill Rushdie but it's only in the last 2 minutes that he dies and it happens by?

The Koran flying around shooting lightning bolts at him until he bursts into flames.

There.  I just saved you 167 minutes, 13 shy of 3 hours.