Cathy's Curse (1977)

Director: Eddy Matalon

Writers: Myra Clement, Eddy Matalon, Alain Sens-Cazenave

Composer: Didier Vasseur

Starring: Alan Scarfe, Beverly Murray, Randi Allen, Dorothy Davis, Mary Morter, Roy Witham, Bryce Allen, Sonny Forbes

More info: IMDb

Tagline: She has the power...to terrorize.

Plot: A young girl is possessed by the spirit of her dead aunt, who died in a car accident. Soon members of her family begin to mysteriously die off.

My rating: 4/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

This French/Canadian horror flick looks like it was quick to jump onto THE OMEN (1976) bandwagon.  And, like most films that rush to capitalize on highly successful films, this one's poor.  It's a girl this time out and she's possessed by her father's long-since-dead aunt or something.  There are a lot of similarities to THE OMEN that make comparisons all the more obvious and justified.  The acting is weak.  Some of Beverly Murray's line deliveries are almost laughably bad.  She didn't have much of a film career, having been in only 14 movies.  You might remember her as "Crazy Woman" from THE CARPENTER (1988) or her last role, "Insane Woman" in SLEEPING DOGS LIE (1998) (I'm not joking, folks).  If you've seen THE OMEN then this entire film is as predictable as breathing.  I honestly can't find anything that's interesting or enjoyable in this film.  

The Patriot (2000)

Director: Roland Emmerich

Writer: Robert Rodat

Composer: John Williams

Starring: Mel Gibson, Heath Ledger, Joely Richardson, Jason Isaacs, Chris Cooper, Tcheky Karyo, Rene Auberjonois, Lisa Brenner, Tom Wilkinson, Donal Logue, Leon Rippy, Adam Baldwin, Jay Arlen Jones

More info: IMDb

Tagline: What would you do if they destroyed your home, threatened your family. Where would you draw the line?

Plot: Peaceful farmer Benjamin Martin is driven to lead the Colonial Militia during the American Revolution when a sadistic British officer murders his son.

My rating: 8.5/10

Will I watch it again?  Yes.

I love this flick.  The cast is great, the story is fun and it's rare to see a film about the Revolutionary War.  Gibson is perfectly cast.  It was the first picture I saw with Jason Isaacs and boy did he make in impression!  He plays a great villain.   The first time I saw this I was a little bothered by everything surrounding the wedding.  It felt like there was too much of a break from the war.  While I understood why we were there (to set up something nasty later on), it felt like the picture was slowing down a little too much.  I've since come to accept it.  The action scenes are a lot of fun and I really dig the cannonball kills.  Nice.  Williams's score is a great addition.  I've had the extended cut Blu-ray for years and I finally got to, the first time seeing this cut.  It's only ten minutes longer than the theatrical cut (making it five minutes shy of three hours).  I noticed a few little moments that were added.  What I recognized as new didn't add to the story so much as it added to the characters and one even gave Tavington (Isaacs) some humanity which was welcome.  And that's one thing that I like about this picture how well they balance the drama and humor.  It's not like you need a lot of extras but the Columbia Blu-ray comes with a couple of behind the scenes featuretts and possible more but stupid Microsoft makes it tough to get a good Blu experience on a desktop so all I get out of a Blu is the movie.  I watched this on the big screen in the living room so don't get all upitty thinking I watched this picture from my computer.

Missing in Action (1984)

Director: Joseph Zito

Writers: James Bruner, John Crowther, Lance Hool

Composer: Jay Chattaway

Starring: Chuck Norris, M. Emmet Walsh, David Tress, Lenore Kasdorf, James Hong, Ernie Ortega, Pierrino Mascarino, Erich Anderson, Joseph Carberry

More info: IMDb

Tagline: The war's not over until the last man comes home.

Plot: Colonel James Braddock is an American officer who spent seven years in a North Vietnamese POW camp, then escaped 10 years ago. After the bloodiest war, Braddock accompanies a government investigation team that goes to Ho Chi Minh City to check out reports of Americans still held prisoner. Braddock gets the evidence then travels to Thailand, where he meets Tuck, an old Army buddy turned black market kingpin. Together, they launch a mission deep into the jungle to free the American POWs from General Trau.

My rating: 6.5/10

Will I watch it again?  Yes.

I can't believe I'm only just now seeing this.  It's probably the second or third Chuck Norris Picture I've seen.  Norris is best when his dialogue is kept to a minimum and that's the case here.  There's enough action to satisfy fans but the big showpiece is at the end during the big rescue.  The pacing isn't too bad but some will find it a turn off that some scenes drag a lot, like when Chuck is breaking in and out of the hotel.  There's an extraordinary amount of time spent watching him sneak around, scale walls, etc.  Normally I'd poo poo that but for some reason I kind of liked the time spent with mundane acts like that.  Even though it's Rambo-lite (those are packed with action and Stallone has a lot more charisma), I can see revisiting this in a dozen years or so...after I've seen another 2 or 3 Chuck pictures.  The MGM Blu-ray looks great.  I've got the one that has the sequel and THE DELTA FORCE (the latter I watched last year and I don't remember a single thing about it...that's not good).

Island Claws (1980)

Director: Herman Cardenas

Writers: Colby Cardenas, Herman Cardenas, Jack Cowden, Ricou Browning

Composer: Bill Justis

Starring: Robert Lansing, Steve Hanks, Nita Talbot, Jo McDonnell, Martina Deignan, Barry Nelson, Tony Rigo, Raymond Forchion, Dick Callinana, Dolores Sandoz

More info: IMDb

Plot: A biological experiment in Florida goes awry. The result: 8-foot long land crabs which roar loudly and kill everything in sight.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

This barely better than average horror film takes itself seriously.  It needed to.  The performances are very good for this sort of thing (it's nice seeing the first James Bond, Barry Nelson, again).  That alone surprised me.  The direction is good and the story, though by the numbers, is good enough.  There's really nothing bad about this picture.  One drawback is that you don't get any killer crab action until the end and it's one gigantic crab that's right there for the actors to work with and not some camera trick.  It's fake looking but it's better than some processed shot that's even phonier.  I was surprised to see that this is the sole credit for Hernan Cardenas.  It's a well-directed film and it's especially good for a first-timer.  Of interest is it's co-written by legendary Ricou Browning and the nice location shooting in Florida.

The Wreck of the Mary Deare (1959)

Director: Michael Anderson

Writers: Eric Ambler, Hammond Innes

Composer: George Duning

Starring: Gary Cooper, Charlton Heston, Michael Redgrave, Emlyn Williams, Cecil Parker, Alexander Knox, Virginia McKenna, Richard Harris, John Le Mesurier

More info: IMDb

Tagline: From the great suspense Best Seller about the ghost ship Mary Deare!

Plot: A disgraced merchant marine officer elects to stay aboard his sinking cargo ship in order to prove the vessel was deliberately scuttled and, as a result, vindicate his good name.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

At first I wasn't sure what kind of picture this was going to be.  We spend a lot of time Patch (Cooper) and Sands (Heston) alone on the ship.  Then things happen and it goes off somewhere else and it was a good somewhere else.  There's a little bit of tension, a lot of mystery and a good deal of deception but it all works.  The performances are good and it's got a good mix of action and drama.  It's neat seeing Richard Harris in the first year of his making movies.  He plays a swell creep, too.  Then there's Gary Cooper at the end of his career before he died (he had one more picture after this).  It was a good paring of Cooper & Heston.  The trailer is good but, boy, does it give you more information than you need...probably too much.

Truth or Dare?: A Critical Madness (1986)

Director: Tim Ritter

Writer: Tim Ritter

Composers: Johnny Britt, Ken Karlson

Starring: John Brace, Mary Fanaro, Bruce Gold, A.J. McLean, Christopher Bontempo, Jon Creamer, Christine Duff, Jennifer Duff, Prescilla Duff, Kerry Ellen Walker, D.C. 'Dash' Goff, Rick Paige, Mona Jones

More info: IMDb

Tagline: June 1, 1986.  It's time to play...Truth or Dare?

Plot: Mike Strauber catches his wife Sharon in bed with his best friend Jerry. He gets mad and takes off to embark on an adventure of murder and self-mutilation in demented games of truth or dare.

My rating: 7/10

Will I watch it again?  Yes.

80s slasher requirements: blood?  Check.  Fun kills?  Check.  Titties?  Check.  OK, everything's here.   It starts off really slow in taking way too much time to let us know that Mike (Brace) is super bummed out that his wife is cheating on him.  It picks up once he picks up the floosie and takes her camping.  From there it's a fun ride.  The acting is over the top (big plus in this case), Mike kills a lot of people including a baby (another plus) and it's actually pretty funny although not enough to consider this a comedy.  It's definitely a horror picture but fuck did I laugh a few times and it wasn't unintentionally.  Ritter knew what he was doing.  It's a low budget picture but Ritter gets a lot of mileage out of what he had to work with. There's a little bit of HALLOWEEN (1978) in that the killer's name is Mike and he wears a mask that he made out of copper in the metal shop at the mental institution!  That's where the comparisons begin and end.   One running gag that I loved was how Mike somehow has unexpected and wild weapons.  His first day back at the mental hospital he busts out a huge hunting knife and a hand grenade.  Once he escapes he's somehow acquired a sub machine gun and later pulls a drive-by chainsaw to kid!  AWESOME!!!  This guy's got some imagination.  The opening goes on way too long but once it gets going, it's a hoot...all the way to the very end, including the cheesy as shit ballad during the end credits called "Critical Madness" (that ends before the credits do).  You need to watch this wackiness. 

The Hound of the Baskervilles (1978)

Director: Paul Morrissey

Writers: Peter Cook, Dudley Moore, Paul Morrissey, Arthur Conan Doyle

Composer:  Dudley Moore

Starring: Peter Cook, Dudley Moore, Spike Milligan, Prunella Scales, Roy Kinnear, Kenneth Williams, Terry-Thomas, Hugh Griffith, Joan Greenwood, Denholm Elliott, Penelope Keith, Dana Gillespie, Irene Handl

More info: IMDb

Tagline:  You'll piss yourself laughing!

Plot: A Sherlock Holmes spoof about a family that has been haunted for years by the curse of a horrible hound.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

Ugh.  I'm being generous giving this a 6 but it's got such an incredibly talented cast and there's a lot to like.  But the problem is it's sooooooooo slow and there's a lot of jokes that don't land or land flat.  Dudley Moore's nasal voice doesn't help.  Why he just didn't go with his normal voice is beyond me.  He's playing a cartoon character.  Kenneth Williams can get away with it because his face works well with it and he's playing an aristocrat.  Having a funny voice can work but not this time.  This isn't all to say Moore isn't funny.  He is, especially when he's playing Sherlock's mother.  Hilarious.  Moore also wrote the score, which is rather neat, styled after early silent movies.  Neat.  Penelope Keith is soooooo hot!  I love that broad!

One of the funniest bits was Denholm Elliott's chihuahua pissing for about a minute and a half.

Hilarious, and it got even funnier when he held the dog to water the flowers under the window.  I think the trailer is very funny (the original, not the one embedded above) but it's a shame that so many great gags get mired in a film that drags on and on with a lot of unfunny.  Still, you couldn't keep me from watching this movie, knowing all of this and watching the trailer.  I'd have to find out for myself.  The MGM DVD sports a great looking anamorphic widescreen print and trailer (also A-wide) but that's all for extras.