Dracula Blows His Cool (1979)

Original title: Graf Dracula (beisst jetzt) in Oberbayern

Director: Carl Schenkel

Writer: Carl Schenkel

Composer: Gerhard Heinz

Starring: Gianni Garko, Betty Verges, Bea Fiedler, Giacomo Rizzo, Ralf Wolter, Linda Grondier, Alexander Grill, Herta Worell, Ellen Umlauf, Tobias Meister, Georgina Steer, Herbert Stiny, Laurence Kaesermann, Dan van Husen, Rosl Mayr, Werner Roglin, Margit Geissler, Christine Zierl

More info: IMDb

Tagline: A Comedy To Sink Your Teeth Into!

Plot:  An ancestor of the famous vampire gets a job as a photographer shooting beautiful fashion models at the family estate.  They set out to convert Dracula's castle into a hip vampire disco. Being around so much naked and semi-naked flesh has the expected effect on him and when the castle opens to the unsuspecting public the Count himself decides to put the "bite" on the customers.

My rating: 4.5/10

Will I watch it again? No.

Released the same year as LOVE AT FIRST BITE (1979), I guess you could say this is the OTHER Dracula comedy of 1979.  BITE was a huge hit I recall.  I'm sure COOL didn't fare as well.  Maybe in Germany, where it was produced.  

The scene with the giant art penis was pretty damn funny. A prudish woman (not the gal above) is offended by it and takes the wrapped package (ahahahahaha) to the Mayor and a couple of others for inspection of this foul thing.  She ended up grabbing the wrong thing and what they find wrapped inside is a garden knome the same size. The prude (it turns out she's a Van Helsing) has her back to them while they talk about how they each have one (about the knome, see, but she thinks it's a giant dick they're talking about) and so and so's is bigger or smaller, etc.  I laughed out loud.  That was probably the first and last laugh but it was something.

I know what you're thinking.  Are her boobs painted instead of actual clothing?  Yup.  Wow.  (I know, right?).  And you're also thinking, does the paint come off easily in the shower?

Yup.

I have a convertible and we do this kind of thing ALL the time.  It's even better in the winter.

So is this.

The movie clocks in at just over 90 minutes and, being a comedy, it's padded with unnecessary bits.  In this case it's a night club with a cheesy Dracula disco song that gets too much play whenever we're there, as if it's the only tune the band knows.  If I didn't know better I'd swear someone in Germany saw LOVE AT FIRST BITE and, before the credits were done, had written their own movie, blending disco, Dracula and comedy.  Only the jokes in this one are rather silly and very juvenille.  But, hey!  There's disco!  And the last line of the film gives it away that the English dub was recorded at least after 1981 when the driver of Dracula's coach said, "Let's go find the lost Ark!".  Now that's the last nail in the coffin.  Bwahahahahahahaha.