Saturday, August 25, 2012

MoH 113: Imprint (2006)

Director: Takashi Miike

Starring: Billy Drago, Shiho Harumi, Michie, Magy, Shin'ichi Tokuhara, Mame Yamada

More info: IMDb

Plot: In the 1800s, an American returns to Japan to find the prostitute he fell in love with, but instead learns of the psychical and existential horror that befell her after he left.

My rating: 4/10

Will I watch it again? No (say that 5 times in Japanese, die, then come back and haunt me)

Here's another director I admire (along with pretty much everyone else who directed one of these MoH episodes). This can't possibly be the same Takashi Miike I'm familiar with. Surely he sublet this picture to someone else and took the credit. And I LOVES me some Billy Drago. I don't need to list his many filmed bits of awesomeness but if all he ever did was play Frank Nitti in THE UNTOUCHABLES (1989) then he'd by in my favorite character actor Hall of Fame. This guy's a fucking rock star.

Really? Is everyone involved with this thing HIGH? What the hell was that? And it's not like this is an isolated scene of what-the-fuckitude, either. He's like that till the end. The makeup on Mame Yamada is great. The actress is horrible. It's like Miike felt sorry for George Lucas and invited him to make a horror moive in his stead. That's how bad the acting is. I'm shocked, nay, horrified! If your lead actress is playing a Japanese character, at least find someone who, oh I don't know, has some kind of a Japanese accent. OMFG she's so not right for this.

There's one more thing that REALLY made this one hard for me to finish. ??? tells her story, Drago doesn't believe it and then she tells him "the real story". This happens three times. Here's a sample of how this goes down.

YAMADA: Here's what happened [she tells the story]
DRAGO: I don't believe it.
YAMADA: OK, so here's what really happened. [she tells a different, more horrific tale]
DRAGO: I don't believe it.
YAMADA: OK, so here's what REALLY happened. [she tells yet another version of the story more grisly and depressing than the last one]

I would say I was speechless when I watched this but I was quite vocal while yelling at the TV. I loved Billy Drago so much. Now I don't know what to believe. My dreams have been shattered. I am no longer the innocent I thought I was.

No comments:

Post a Comment