Count Dracula's Great Love (1974)

Director: Javier Aguirre

Starring: Paul Naschy, Rosanna Yanni, Haydee Politoff, Mirta Miller, Ingrid Garbo

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Crazed Women Desperate For Satisfaction.

Plot: Four women spend the night in an old deserted sanitarium on a mountain. They each in turn fall into the the evil hands of a doctor who forces them to suck each others blood and to whip innocent village virgins so they can lick the oozing cuts clean.

My rating: 5.5/10

Will I watch it again? NOOOOOO!

The print I have is beat up but at least it's widescreen. I don't mind the scratches and pops if it is presented as filmed and I welcome it if it's 70s EuroHorror. The opening with the two guys delivering the casket was nice which ended with their deaths, the second one falling down a long stairwell. That is, until the credits started rolling and you got to watch his fall at least 7 times in different speeds of slow motion. That's right, over and over and over, slower and slower.

Gee, I hope these lovely ladies get naked. I'm getting sleepy.

After that it's all uphill. Paul Naschy doesn't make much of a convincing count. It's not his short stature. He just doesn't have a commanding presence that Count Dracula would have. For the next hour and whatever you get everyone seducing everyone, lots of nudity, neck biting, drinking of blood, becoming vampires and shit until...


BRAM STOKER'S SPOILERS!!!

Distraught that the woman, a virgin, he was going to use for the blood ceremony to revive his long-dead daughter, Dracula takes his her casket-filled remains and dumps them in the river because the young lady didn't want to spend eternity as a vampire and she wasn't in love with him (a prerequisite to qualifying for the sacrifice). Dracula takes a wooden stake and forces it into his heart!!! Dracula commits suicide! WOW! That just earned an extra point. Have you ever seen a movie where D offs himself? Let me know if you have. This is a first for me. He didn't even leave a note, the sorry sack of shit.

END OF SPOILERS. YARRRRRR!

YES!!!!!!!!!

The dubbing is pretty bad but that kind of adds to the charm. Overall, it's a slow go but not so slow that I didn't enjoy little bits and pieces here and there and wished I had some help watching it. It has a nice look and there's enough eye candy in the mix to make it watchable but that's about it. I'll never forget the batshit insanely awesome climax that I almost slept through. That was something else.