Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Return of the Jedi (1983)

Director: George Lucas

Starring: Harrison Ford, Mark Hamil, Carrie Fisher

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: The Saga Continues.

Plot Outline: After rescuing Han Solo from the palace of Jabba the Hutt, the Rebels attempt to destroy the Second Death Star, while Luke Skywalker tries to bring his father back to the Light Side of the Force.

My Rating: 7/10

Would I watch it again? I practically have to

I was 14 when this came out in '83 and, for me, it was a mixed bag. To this day I LOVE everything having to do with Vader and the Emperor.

How do you make a STAR WARS sequel worse? Add stupid-ass fucking teddy bears, that's how. My hatred for the Ewoks has grown over the past 25 years to the point that it makes some scenes unwatchable. Besides having god damned teddy bears in it Luca$ ruined so much of the character development that had been established in EMPIRE. Solo has lost his manhood. He's no longer the badass he'd been in the previous films. Ditto to Lando albeit not as much.

The opening Jabba sequence could be good with a few cuts. We don't NEED to see Lando pull his mask down. We KNOW it's him. We don't need a stupid song. it adds nothing but time to an already bloated section of the film. We don't need all these cheep laughs. We will always need Leia and her slave costume, though. Mmmm.

There's way too much comedy, especially with 3PO. I'm sick of that scrap heap - especially after ATTACK OF THE CLONES. The music, which has been exceptional throughout all six films, while still great here, is embarrassing during the final battle with it's poor editing (not Williams' fault, I know) and the obvious use of previous music that had been recorded for STAR WARS (1977). Not to mention the out of tune trumpets during the Sarlac pit sequence and the the missed high notes during the final battle. I'm a musician so these things stand out like the "Special Edition" inclusion of Hayden Christiansen at the end of JEDI. W...T...F? Vomit-inducing it is. Utterly appauling. And when you've spent 20 minutes brushing your teeth to get the taste of puke out of your mouth, you go back and un-pause the DVD to hear Jar Jar saying, during the celebratory add-ons, "We-sa free!" Put that in your ass-pipe and smoke it. Now instead of envisioning Luke tossing Ewoks on the funeral pyre at the end he's got to add Gayden and Jar Jar to stoke the flames.

But I digress. At least he gave us a boob slip...

No comments:

Post a Comment