The Golden Boys (2008)

Director: Daniel Adams

Writers: Daniel Adams, Joseph C. Lincoln

Composer: Jonathan Edwards

Starring: David Carradine, Rip Torn, Bruce Dern, Mariel Hemingway, Charles Durning, Jason Alan Smith, Christy Scott Cashman, Angelica Page, John Savage

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Three Salty Dogs Seek One Spicy Kitten

Plot: A romantic comedy, set on Cape Cod in 1905, about three 70-year-old retired sea captains who try to lure an attractive middle-aged woman into marriage.

My rating: 5.5/10

Will I watch it again? No.

This picture is not what you think it should be.  It's rather disjointed and all over the place both in story and performances.  Bruce Dern is the only one who is consistent and good.  Everyone else is uneven.  Hemingway's accent is mostly on track but she loses it depending on the scene.  Rip Torn's accent is either his normal one, a deep Southern one or an Irish one.  He's wildly meandering.  Carradine does OK but he's being Carradine.  My biggest disappointment is how uneven the performances are as a team.  These three guys are playing longtime friends but they don't feel like it.  It's as if someone had the idea of casting three old, known actors and figured they could create that kind of chemistry.  Dern can do it but it's not happening with Torn and Carradine.  They have their moments, I'll give them that, but there are too few to make the rest of the picture work.  It plays like a mediocre (at best) Lifetime Channel movie.  I cannot recommend it for any reason than seeing Bruce Dern.