Turkish Star Trek (AKA Turist Omer Uzay Yolunda) (1973)

Director: Hulki Saner

Starring: Sadri Alisik, Erol Amac, Cemil Sahbaz, and more Turks than you can shake a kabob at.

More info: IMDb

Plot: In a blatant rip-off of the original series episode, THE MAN TRAP, the Enterprise picks up a Turkish hobo and must deal with his comic hijinks along with shape-shifting creatures who kill humans by draining the salt from their bodies.

My rating: 3/10

Will I watch it again? Absolutely not.

Not with a group of friends and tall glass of Romulan Ale is this fun. Oh, yeah, it seems like a good idea until you start watching it. Rarely has 71 minutes felt like an eternity. It's dreadfully dull but there are a few moments of laughter. I like how they tried for the look and feel of the original series despite not making it but it's a worthy attempt. What am I saying? It bored the piss out of me. The Turks were great at stealing music and scenes from other movies. This picture could have used a lot more of it. Their Enterprise set locations being limited to two rooms - the bridge and a hallway - REALLY hurt the picture and add to the monotany. Some could argue that helps the cheese factor.


DRINKING GAME: Every time the Enterprise doors "swish", have everyone in the room make that sound and promptly drink. You'll be hammered and laughing your ass off in minutes.


The biggest laugh of the evening came from this scene which rivals the cheeseball fight between Kirk and the Gorn.

Start watching the damn thing at the top and see for yourself. You'll be asleep before you know it. I knew this was going to be bad but I at least figured with liquor and a crowd it could be fun. Boy, was I wrong. For everyone who came over last night, I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you with TURKISH STAR WARS (1982).