Director: Lee Demarbre
Starring: Phil Caracas, Murielle Varhelyi, Maria Moulton, Tim Devries, Ian Driscoll
More info: IMDb
Tagline: The first testament says "an eye for an eye." - The second testament says "love thy neighbour." - The third testament ... Kicks Ass!!!
Plot: Vampires are killing lesbians in the city of Ottawa. Maxine Schreck and Johnny Golgotha, two important members of Father Eustace's parish are missing, and Eustace can no longer sit by and watch, so he calls on the help of the greatest vampire hunter of all--Jesus Christ.
My rating: 6/10
Will I watch it again? Sure.
Here's one of those kitchen sink low budget flicks where the film makers throw everything into script and screen in case they never get a chance to make another movie. Fortunately, this one works. It's quite inventive, not to mention it's got one of the greatest titles of all time. There are lots of christian religious gags (I'm sure I didn't get many of them...you know...being a non-believer and all).
I really liked the idea of Jesus kicking ass in his traditional outfit, long hair and beard. I understand why they had to lose that early on but it would have been funnier if they hadn't. A couple of scenes that grabbed me by the short & curlies (provided I don't shave for a couple of weeks) is where Jesus kicks the asses of probably 30 or so atheists that keep coming out of a small car in waves...like a clown car. That was cute. The other standout scene, which I though was quite inventive, is when Jesus is playing drums at a jazz club and the place is packed with patrons. Behind him is a mirrored wall and he notices that there are very few people in the reflection. He starts hurling drum sticks from the stick bag, killing loads of vampires. Nice.
There's enough goofiness in the picture to keep your interest. Near the end the Mexican wrestler, Santo, shows up to aid Jesus in the final fight. This was the second time I'd seen this flick. The first time was years ago with a couple of friends. Then it felt too long and rather dull. This time it was with a larger crowd outside on the big screen and it was a much different picture than I saw then. Having a lively audience really makes this picture come alive. Regardless, when you have a chance to see a movie called JESUS CHRIST VAMPIRE HUNTER...well, you just have to see it for yourself. The power of Christ compels you!