Monday, February 23, 2009

Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan (1982)

Director: Nicholas Meyer

Starring: William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, Ricardo Montalban and all the rest

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: At the end of the universe lies the beginning of vengeance.

Plot: Admiral Kirk's midlife crisis is interrupted by the return of an old enemy looking for revenge and a potentially destructive device.

My Rating: 9.5/10

Would I watch it again? Hell, yeah!

After the snoozefest that was STAR TREK 1: TMP Paramount studios had better have come up with something that MOVED otherwise they would have killed the burgeoning franchise. And boy, oh boy did they come up with something good. We've all seen this. If you haven't, stop breathing. This is one of the absolute best space action movies ever!

James Horner's score is fantastic and it's one of the most played scores in my collection. Having said that, Horner pisses me off to no end on his blatant plagiarism of not only other composers but himself. So you think ST2's music is original? Listen to what he did two years earlier in BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS! (listen to the very end)

That's just the main title. Track down and listen to the soundtrack. It'll make you face hurt because he uses a lot of it in ST2, ST3 and ALIENS to name a few. He's a talented guy, but it's just his talent is thinner than Kate Moss after a nasty bout with the shits.

Jackie Chan over here's got his two tickets for the Gun Show!

Ricardo Montalban and his big 'ole titties!

"He tasks me -- and I'll have him. I'll chase him 'round the moons of Nibia and 'round the Antares maelstrom and 'round perdition's flames before I give him up."

Shatner hasn't been better. There aren't many people like Montalban that can ham it up toe-to-toe with Shatner and he pulls it off beautifully. Everyone else is great. DeForest Kelley gets off lots of great looks and lines. Shatner's emotional buildup to the quintessential moment in the film when he yells, "KHAAAAAAAAN" is fucking priceless.


I still get choked up somethin' fierce when Spock's dying and again when Kirk says at his funeral, "Of my friend, I can only say this: of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most... human." I'm a mess when he trips up just before he says "human." That's right, I'm a space pussy. Like you don't get all teary-eyed when that scene comes on. Screw you.

I remember when I was a kid being devastated seeing Han Solo frozen in EMPIRE and then two years later seeing Spock snuff it. I was an adolescent mess. I got better.


So why a 9.5 and not a solid 10? This is why.

WHAT...THE...FUCK? You don't put current fashion trends in a futuristic movie. In a few years they'll be more dated than Courtney Love during grade school. He's never going to get space laid wearing his sweater like that. Besides, WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A SWEATER IN SPACE?!?!

I watch this probably once every two years or so which isn't often enough. It's just so much fun. Too bad the series went steadily downhill from here. Sigh.

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