Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Death Dimension (1978)

Director: Al Adamson

Starring: Jim Kelly, Harold "Odd Job" Sakata, George Lazenby, Aldo Ray

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: The One Movie James Bond Himself Would Go See!

Plot: The Pig has a plan to eradicate some people with a freeze bomb that instantly freezes people to death. It is up to Detective Ash to stop him and protect the woman with the secret to the ice bomb embedded in a microdot under the skin of her forehead.

My Rating: 3/10

Would I watch it again? Absolutely not

This is the very definition of "slumming it". The entire budget was spent on the three leads' salaries AND Adamson must have had incriminating evidence on all three to boot. WOW! This is amateurish film making. To give you an idea of the quality of this man's work, his highest-rated film on imdb garners a 3.67 out of ten. This one gets a 1.72!

The opening scene over the credits with the scientist inserting a microdot into this woman's head is cool. There was at least a decent makeup effects artist on board.

Harold Sakata (best known as Odd Job from GOLDFINGER (1964) is doing his best as the criminal leader of a band of thugs out to sell a top secret bomb to the nations of the world!!! He's out of his league but if I were in his shoes and the money were right I'd have done the same thing.

Then you've got Lazenby. I REALLY dig this guy. He's a good actor and a badass in action scenes. He must have worked two days and gotten 10K for it. He doesn't fare so well. He tries with the material he's given but it's just not enough.

Jim Kelly comes across the best but then he's got more to do. He really stands out in his fight scenes. His martial arts is good and quick. I hate to admit that this is the first thing I've seen him in. I know he's the star of BLACK BELT JONES and a ton of other 70s blaxsploiation films but I'm watching him here for the first time. I'd better get on it.

There's two standout scenes for me. The first is when Kelly goes to the Mustang Ranch in Nevada. There's absolutely no reason whatsoever for him to visit here as he goes in, meets the "ladies" and then gets kicked out. There must have been some kind of quid pro quo where they feature the ranch and they get free pussy for a day or something. Anyway, here's the talent he comes upon:

WOOF, HUH? I've already bought my bus ticket out West! And to make the scene better, there's a cheesy Sinatra-esque lounge lizzard singing, "From now on we're just good friends..." AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. It's fucking classic...easily the biggest laugh of the picture.

Then there's the "torture" scene where Sakata has his right hand man bust out a badass turtle to threaten Felecia with because he needs the information she's hiding. It's a scary-ass turtle. How about this classic dialogue?

"Ah, Poochie is hungry. Once he bites your tit you have to cut his head off before he'll let go."

"Such an energetic fellow."

One bite and he'll make you flat-chested."

The music for this could hardly be worse. I bet that if you put a good score behind this thing it could actually be watchable. It would certainly elevate it and "try" to cover up the amateurishness of the film makers.

That's about it. This is shit. And not even the good shit you can squeeze out with a few good friends and mind-altering substances. The direction is bad, there's no coverage shots and it's just dreadful. This is oh so bad. Reeeeeeaaaallll Bad. Stay away.

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