Sunday, February 25, 2018

The Erotic Adventures of Pinocchio (1971)

Director: Corey Allen

Writers: Chris Warfield, Corey Allen, Carlo Collodi

Composer: John Barber

Starring: Alex Roman, Monica Gayle, Dyanne Thorne, Karen Smith, Eduardo Ranez, Lavina Dawson, Debbie Osborne, Vincene Wallace, Neola Graef, Gwen Van Dam, Elizabeth Bell, Uschi Digard

More info: IMDb

Tagline: It's not his nose that grows!

Plot: This is a bawdy burlesque version of the famous fairy tale. Instead of Gepetto, the old-man woodcarver, we have Geppeta (Gayle), an apparently frustrated and nubile young virgin. Geppeta carves Pinocchio (Roman) for herself as a gorgeous young hunk. Geppeta's fairy godmother (Thorne) magically transforms the young stud Pinocchio into a living man, who is quickly brought to work in the local whorehouse as a prize stud and exhibitionist.

My rating: 4/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

#44 on the Uschi Digard Needs to Have My Babies Project

These storybook adult movies are generally pretty bad.  This one is no exception.  The good thing about this (and them) is the gratuitous nudity but this one is softcore so as not to offend the kiddies. There are LOADS of tits, a little ass and no dicks (sorry straight ladies and gay guys).  There's also a lot of comedy that rarely lands.  It's groan-inducing at times.  What hurt my ears is the incredible amount of screaming, loud sounds and people.  It's a noisy as fuck picture.  Besides the gratuitous nudity (and the women are naturally attractive with lovely bodies) the only other thing I liked was Eduardo Ranez as Jo Jo, the man who exploits Pinocchio as a sex performer.  He's great and he also had the only laughs as far as I'm concerned.  And I'm shocked that he's only got this one credit on IMDb.  If you like your bevy of boobs in a loud and obnoxious movie then this has your name written all over it.  And another thing, did Dyanne Thorne get a boob job after this?  There's a remarkable difference between her lovely self in this and her lovely self in ILSA: SHE WOLF OF THE SS (1975).  Just sayin'.  Oh, and if you're an Uschi Digard connoisseur like me then you're going to be very disappointed.  She's literally in this picture for about a half a minute. 

OMFG.  I want her to have my babies.  I don't care how old she is now. 

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