Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Spermula (1976)

Director: Charles Matton

Writer: Charles Matton

Composer: Jose Bartel

Starring: Dayle Haddon, Udo Kier, Francois Dunoyer, Jocelyn Boisseau, Ginette Leclerc, Isabelle Mercanton, Georges Geret, Radiah Frye

More info: IMDb

Tagline: The sex fantasy that's light years ahead of any other erotic movie.

Plot: A notorious secret society known as Spermula plans to return from the future and conquer Earth by neutering the male population.

My rating: 5.5/10

Will I watch it again?  No.
Don't listen to IMDb's genre keywords.  This is not a horror by any stretch.  It's a sci-fi softcore porn comedy.   If that doesn't pique your curiosity then how about this...

or that it's about a dying planet that sends a few of its people to Earth, taking on the form of beautiful Earth women, to deplete all human males of sperm through the horrible acts (their words) of sex.  The version I watched was 88 minutes long and dubbed in English.  You get to hear more sex puns than you can probably stand but every once in a while one of them would make me laugh out loud.  It's not a good film but it is at times amusing and there's lots of beautiful nude women which helps.  Udo Kier is one of the aliens whose female form didn't take but he ended up with a half inch dick and tiny balls.  He complains about it all the time which gets some laughs.  The dialogue is as goofy as the plot and it does offer some entertainment value but just don't go in expecting much of anything and you'll probably end up on the other side a slightly better person.  At least you'll be able to go the rest of your days saying you watched a movie called Spermula and few people will believe you.

Them: What's that?  YOU haven't seen GONE WITH THE WIND?  What the hell?
You:  Yeah, well have you seen the 1976 classic SPERMULA?  Alright, then shut the fuck up.

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