Friday, November 17, 2017

Confessions of a Teenage Peanut Butter Freak (1975)

Director: Zachary Strong

Writers: Zachary Strong, Jerry Abrams

Starring: Zachary Strong, Helen Madigan, John Holmes, Jacque Hanson, Veronica Taylor, Constance Money, Karen Reed, Malcolm Healy, Charles Swanson, Jo Ann McClure, Kandi Johnson

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Chunky or Creamy - No Salt Added

Plot: Sexual awakening of Billy, an inept teenager who undergoes a series of humiliating, but nevertheless arousing experiences. His peculiar traumatic experiences cause him to develop an insecurity about his ability to have a sexual relationship with a woman, as well as a fetish for peanut butter.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again?  No.

Here's something different with your 70s porn.  This is bizarre from the title on down.  It's obvious Billy is a shy guy from the start but he does loves him some peanut butter.   Billy's date gets cut short because of his awkwardness and inability to tell when a chick is hot for his cock.  He stops for gas at a full service station and the gas girl, Priscilla, gets him to take her home a few minutes later when she gets off work.  At her place, over drinks and peanut butter, Billy opens up about his awkwardness being due to some unusual sexual experiences.  It's flashback time when his Aunt Opel catches him masturbating.  Minutes later she's giving him the Cliff notes rundown of how to fuck and she's easily frustrated.

Everything he does is clunky but she powers through the basics.  She blows him and when it's his turn, he has no idea.  She reaches for the peanut butter, dabs her finger in the jar and slathers it on her hairy meat flaps.  I'd show you a picture but it's not easy to unsee it.  He recounts another story about seeing his female cousin having sex with another college age girl.  They catch him spying so they make him john in.  Not knowing any different, Billy cums inside his cousin and she flips her shit because she's not on birth control.  Later on we find out that he never saw her again so I guess we can assume she got rid of it.  Now it's Priscilla's turn and she recalls how, in her younger days of innocence, she was chased by these two young men in the wild of hill country.  At first she's afraid and runs but she soon makes a game out of it and she eventually stops running so the boys/young men can bang her.  After that one, Billy tells another story about how his friend, Jeff, hooked him up with a chick that was ready to go but Billy is Billy so he needs some confidence.  Jeff (played by monster dick John Holmes) gets her started and let's Billy take over.  What a tough act to follow, right?

Anyway, The last fuck scene is Billy and Priscilla finally having at it (which naturally includes peanut butter play) and they're both in love.  Cut to their wedding for the last few minutes of the movie in one of the most bizarre ceremonies ever.  Billy has flashbacks like his life is flying before his eyes, strange music, editing and visuals.  The end.  The only reason why I watched this was for the title.  That's just too wild to pass up. If you've seen any porn made in the last few years then there's nothing special about the fuck scenes in this picture.  You might get an occasional unintentional laugh sometimes but that's it.  It's kind of a different way to tell a porn story but it has some entertainment value when you consider the peanut butter angle and Billy banging his aunt and later not pulling his dick out of his cousin.  If you want to watch it you can easily finding it online in a goggle search under videos.  It's also longer than a typical 70s porno by about a half hour.

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