Friday, July 11, 2014

The Doll Squad (1973)

Director: Ted V. Mikels

Writers: Jack Richesin, Pam Eddy, Ted V. Mikels

Composer: Nicholas Carras

Starring: Michael Ansara, Francine York, Anthony Eisley, John Carter, Lisa Todd, Rafael Campos, Lillian garrett, William Bagdad, Herb Robins, Curt Matson, Christopher Augustine, Bertil Unger, Gustaf Unger, Tura Satana

More info: IMDb

Tagline: A diabolical maniac threatens mass destruction! An elite band of sexy assassins ... our only hope!

Plot: A Cape Canaveral space mission is sabotaged by terrorists. A group of beautiful, but deadly spies seek out those responsible using an arsenal of secret weapons.

My rating: 5/10

Will I watch it again? No.

Here's another pre-CHARLIE'S ANGELS, knock 'em, sock 'em all girl gang of action-packed fem-mercenaries out to right the wrongs for the government.  It's OK.  There's no nudity but there is a groovy dance with the sultry Tura Satana.

Mikels makes films that feel like a lesser quality TV movie but with more quality than you'd expect.  There's plenty of action (the big sequence at the halfway mark goes on for so long that you think the film must be close to the end) complete with slow fights and neat movie tricks when it comes to killing folks (some are in the trailer).  There are some slow spots and ultimately the picture overstays its welcome. The plot borrows from ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE (1968) which will only remind you that there's a far better picture out there that you should be watching instead.  The end credits song, Song for Sabrina, is hilariously bad that I'm willing to bet was meant to be that way.  It's like a much cheesier version of a Bond song if they hired a lounge singer to perform it.  Ultimately, the tease of nudity without delivering it and the pacing hurt the picture.  You could probably trim twenty minutes from this and you'd have a reasonably entertaining picture.  As it is, it's a one-time watch for this cat.  The DVD has a commentary with Mikels, the trailer,  8 minutes of Tura Satana recollecting her time on the picture, a text-only Mikels filmography and images of more titles you're just sure to love from Image Entertainment. 

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