Friday, December 27, 2013

The Pimp Primer (1970)

Director: Nick Millard

Writer: ???

Composer: ???

Starring: Tommy Toole, Sue Peters, Michael Donovan O'Donnell, Shen Jackson, John Dullaghan, Uschi Digard, John Holmes, Donna Young

More info: IMDb

Plot: Carl, a low-end hustler and pimp, uses his girlfriend to start his own prostitution ring. Trouble begins when Carl recruits Sherri, a local waitress who likes sex.  At first she resists but she soon comes through and performs at an orgy they've been hired for.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again? No.

#33 on the Uschi Digard Needs to Have My Babies Project

Yet another softcore porn but this one is kind of special.  We have a very pleasant narrator telling us about how to be a pimp. 

Meet Carl.  He's been pimping his girlfriend, Gerry (Sheri Jackson), out for some extra money.

He gets the crazy idea that he can make more money (it's for their nest egg) if he brings on more girls.  That's where Sherri comes in.  He tells the two gals that they'll sometimes need to fuck each other for paying customers to watch.  He wants to see what that looks like.

Then it's off to the orgies!  Say, is that legendary porn star John Holmes on the far left?


Uschi Digard shows up, almost unrecognizable sporting a strange wig but as soon as I saw her lips I knew it was her.

And her tits, of course.  That's her lying on her back on the lower right.

 And that's it.  Like most of these simulated sex flicks, it's less than an hour.  They're usually boring as hell but what makes this one fun is the silly narration and the outrageously strange background score.  It's comprised of cues that feel right at home with a light-hearted romantic comedy from Warner Bros..  It's not the sort of thing you'd expect to accompany a picture like this but it works in spades.  I laughed my ass off.  This one's actually pretty fun.

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