Macabre (1980)

Director: Lamberto Bava

Starring: Bernice Stegers, Stanko Molnar, Veronica Zinny, Roberto Posse, Ferdinando Orlandi Fernando Pannullo, Elisa Kadigia Bove

More info: IMDb

Tagline: Prepare yourself for the Shock of a Lifetime!

Plot: A middle-aged woman, traumatized from the death of her adulterous lover, moves into a room at a New Orleans boarding house where the blind landlord becomes suspicious to her activities of continuing her affair with her dead lover.

My rating: 4/10

Will I watch it again? Nooooo.

This late entry into the Italian Giallo (murder thriller) genre is the debut feature from Lamberto "son of Mario" Bava.  It takes place in New Orleans and being how this is the English dub, the Southern accents are laughable.  That aside, as a lot of giallos go, it's slow and tedious.  There's lots of lurking and searching of rooms which feels like padding (it's only 89 minutes but it feels like two and a half hours).  The only thing remotely interesting (besides the lovely naked Italian beauties) is the absolute last moment in the film.  SPOILER ALERT...YARRRRR!  The blind dude is feeling his way across the top of a bed.  What we can see (and he cannot) is a severed head with no other body parts keeping it company.  Right when he gets up next to it the head ferociously rushes to his neck.  End of story.  WTF?  It didn't make any damn sense whatsoever. Whatever.  It's hardly a payoff for such a dull film.  To make matters worse, the DVD I have is a two-fer with Bava's second feature effort, A BLADE IN THE DARK (1983) which is only slightly better.  What's that?  Can't wait to see this?  Wait no more...

Crippled Avengers (1978)

Director: Cheh Chang

Starring: Kuan Tai Chen, Feng Lu, Philip Kwok, Meng Lo, Chien Sun, Sheng Chiang, Jamie Luke

More info: IMDb


Plot:  A wealthy kung fu expert, who is turned bitter and evil by the slaying of his wife and the loss of his son's hands, bullies a town through terror and force. They find pleasure and satisfaction by crippling those who stumble in their way. Four of those who are crippled, a hawker who is blinded, a blacksmith made mute and deaf, a drifter who loses his legs, and a fighter who loses his sanity, band together to use their disabilities to the best of their advantage. The four are tested time and time again, and demonstrate their strengths and abilities.

My rating: 8/10

Will I watch it again? Yes.

#159 on Drive-In Delirium Volume 1 (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)

This was fun.  The father and son team of bad guys are REALLY FUCKING EVIL!  Man, these cats are harsh.  They don't kill their special enemies, they cripple them.  Some examples are hacking off legs, arms, forcing poison down one's throat to make him mute, gauging out both eyes, boxing ears so hard you go deaf, giving a dude an external lobotomy permanently making him behave like a child (yet he retained his excellent kung fu skills) and it's really painful to watch. Eeegah.  Fortunately the broad humor that the Japanese loved so much is kept to a minimum.  AKA THE RETURN OF THE FIVE DEADLY VENOMS, it's your standard chop socky flick but it's also different enough to stand out and it's a blast to watch.  I'll definitely put this one near the top of the 'watch again' list when it comes to 70s kung fu pictures.

Amelie (2001)

Director: Jean-Pierre Jeunet

Starring:  Audrey Tautou, Mathieu Kassovitz, Rufus, Lorella Cravotta, Serge Merlin, Jamel Debbouze, Clotilde Mollet, Clair Maurier, Isabelle Nanty, Dominique Pinon

More info: IMDb

Tagline: One person can change your life forever.

Plot: Amelie, an innocent and naive girl in Paris, with her own sense of justice, decides to help those around her and along the way, discovers love.

My rating: 8/10

Will I watch it again? Yes.

I just realized I watched this three years ago and it never made it to the blog.  What an adorable film.  Audrey Tautou is too cute for words and she really sells this picture.  The bits with the traveling gnome are hilarious.  AMELIE made me laugh and cry (just a little - that's all I'll admit to).  Yeah, it's two hours long but it doesn't feel like it.  You'll come out the other side with a smile on your face.

Drifter: Henry Lee Lucas (2009)

Director: Michael Feifer

Starring: Antonio Sabato Jr., John Diehl, Kostas Sommer, Kelly Curran, Caia Coley, John Burke, Nocolas Canel, Ezra Averill

More info: IMDb


Plot: Having admitted to over 300 murders, Henry Lee Lucas was one of the most prolific serial killers in American history. Antonio Sabato Jr. plays Lucas, who, after a lifetime of abuse at the hands of his sadistic mother, embarks on a coldblooded killing spree with the help of fellow drifter Ottis Toole (Sommer).

My rating: 5/10

Will I watch it again? Nope.

The biggest obstacles I had to overcome when watching this were accepting Sabato as Lucas, Sabato as a serial killer and Sabato as a man who could get away with murder over and over again.  I'm just not buyin' it.  Not many of the cast got through this proudly.  The standout performance in my book is John Diehl as Sheriff Larabie.  He rocked.  I think it might be director Michael Feifer's fault.  This guy directs A LOT - 30 movies in the past 8 years.  He's also done quite a few serial killer flicks, one of which I checked out recently, B.T.K. (2008) starring Kane Hodder, which wasn't too bad.  Well, LUCAS doesn't suffer with boredom but the weak performances really stand out. The last fifteen minutes is actually quite good with the relationship between Henry and Becky coming to a close but getting to that point requires more than I'm willing to give it again.  Poor casting's going to force me to give this one a pass.

Sweet Sugar (1972)

Director: Michel Levesque

Starring: Phyllis Davis, Ella Edwards, Timothy Brown, Pamela Collins, Cliff Osmond, Angus Duncan, Jacqueline Giroux, Darl Severns

More info: IMDb

Tagline: They're women... They're warm... They're wildcats.

Plot: After being set up by a corrupt politician, and instead of going to prison, our lovely heroine, Sugar, ends up serving 2 years at a Costa Rican, sugar cane plantation. The feisty Sugar isn't above a little back-breaking labor, beatings, and other forms of cruelty, but what she's about to find out is that the guy that runs the place, the sadistic Dr. John, subjects the prisoners to cruel medical experiments. Sooner or later, it might be wise for sweet Sugar to make friends with some of these ornery gals, and break out of this hell hole.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again? Sure.

#12 on Drive-In Delirium Volume 1 (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)

SWEET SUGAR feels like a New World Pictures/Roger Corman produced WIP (Women in prison) flick but it's not.  There's not the abundance of nudity you usually find in WIP pictures and it's got some strange elements in it like the gals get Saturday night free to party with the male prisoners.  That might not be anything new but to have it outdoors at the edge of the woods with a campfire and liquor?  Nice.  Then there's this, one of the best scenes I've ever come across in this genre...

PUSSY RIOT!  SUGAR also had a guard that's mean to the girls, charismatic AND happily helps liberate them at the end.  If it were a Corman picture he'd be played by Sid Haig.  There's a man named MOJO who's a Voodoo priest. You don't see stuff like that in these types of pictures.  And there's some torture courtesy of Dr. John (who's an evil bastard and really goes hilariously nuts at the end in a truly funny performance), which is reminiscent of something out of a Nazisploitation flick which was neat.  It's a pretty fun time.  I'll keep my fingers crossed for a widescreen DVD someday.  I'll gladly watch it again when that happens.

All the Lovin' Kinfolk (1970)

Director: John Hayes

Starring: Jay Scott, Mady Maguire, Ann Ryan, Janice Douglas, Donna Young, William Guhl, Ruth Stanley, Marland Proctor

More info: IMDb

Tagline: They's more than kissin' cousins

Plot: Two backwoods high school grads, Mady Maguire and Jay Scott, try their luck in the big city. Their luck runs out in a hurry as they're slickered and conned. Meanwhile, kissin' cousins Mady and Jay go well beyond kissin'.

My rating: 6/10

Will I watch it again? Nah.

This one's a head-scratcher.  It's not your typical low budget exploitation picture.  It's The South and it looks like it's set in the early 30s and there are lots of great old cars and an attempt at recreating that time and place.  The acting is pretty good for what it is and there was some though that went into the story.  Then there's what makes it an exploitation flick; frequent nudity but most of it (and the best of it) is with Uschi.

NOT Uschi

One thing that surprised me was they did a fairly good job on the accents.  I've lived most of my life in The South.  I'm not saying they nailed it but when you consider this is a low budget exploitation flick, they made a good effort.  But no matter how hard they tried, it's still a titty flick and overall it's not something you're likely to watch again although it comes close. I almost forgot about the music.  There's a song that gets used frequently that's a good sound alike for the Harry Nilsson tune from MIDNIGHT COWBOY (1969), Everybody's Talkin'.  It works in the picture but there's no escaping the tune they're copying.

Over the weekend I decided it was time to start a project for one of my favorite exploitation hotties, Uschi Digard.  She shows up in the first twenty minutes with an out-of-nowhere soft core sex scene in a chicken coop.  It's pretty short and it ends with her holding an egg and crushing it at the point of climax.

I was a little bummed out that they got the Uschi in and out so quickly but I was pleasantly surprised when she showed up near the end as a prostitute in a brothel.  She's got a few lines this time (I LOVE that Swedish accent) and does the naked thing once again.

The Uschi Digard Needs to Have My Babies Project

Swedish-born Uschi (as Ursula Bernell) (1948) came to the States in '67 and is rumored to have been discovered by Russ Meyer (who'd-a thought?).  Bluntly put, this 5'7" beauty is know for her cans.  At age 15 she was a 40DD.  Combine that with a curvaceous figure and a beautiful smile, it's easy to see why she was one of the top men's magazine models in the late 60s and throughout the 70s.  Averaging nearly ten films a year, Uschi's contributions were always welcome, no matter how brief her appearance.

The title of this project says it all.  My goal is to get through every single one of her films and once I'm done, I'm going to ask Uschi to have my babies.  Mmmmmmmmm...Uschi...mmmmmmmm.  It seems she's currently married (sorry, Bub, but you're going to have to go) and she's 64 years old.  Major breakthroughs in modern science are happening all the time.  Maybe it'll catch up with us by the time I'm done with this list and we can start our family.  I've read that she speaks eight languages.  She's bound to reply 'yes' in one of them.

It looks like I'm going to need your help in achieving my goal.  I've barely scratched the surface and there are a lot of films I'm having trouble locating.  Any help you can throw my way will greatly be appreciated.  If you do, I'll give the sleazy details of my adventures in coitus with Uschi.

1 REVIEW - The Kill (1968)
2 REVIEW - The Erotic Adventures of Robin Hood (1969)
3 REVIEW - The Cut-Throats (1969)
4 REVIEW - The Game Is Set (1969) (UNABLE TO FIND - PLEASE HELP)
5 REVIEW - The Madam (1969)
6 REVIEW - The Marauders (1969) (UNABLE TO FIND - PLEASE HELP)
7 REVIEW - The Master Beater (1969) (UNABLE TO FIND - PLEASE HELP)
8 REVIEW - The Scavengers (1969)
9 REVIEW - Uschi (1969) (UNABLE TO FIND - PLEASE HELP)
10 REVIEW - Affair in the Air (1970)
11 REVIEW - 1970 All the Lovin' Kinfolk (1970)
12 REVIEW - Cherry, Harry & Raquel! (1970)
13 REVIEW - Dirty Pool (1970)
14 REVIEW - Dr. Christina of Sweden (1970)
15 REVIEW - Fuzz (1970) (UNABLE TO FIND - PLEASE HELP)
16 REVIEW - Getting Into Heaven (1970)
17 REVIEW - I Want You! (1970) (UNABLE TO FIND - PLEASE HELP)
18 REVIEW - Love Secrets of the Kama Sutra (1970) (UNABLE TO FIND - PLEASE HELP)
19 REVIEW - Marriage American Style (short) (1970) (UNABLE TO FIND - PLEASE HELP)
20 REVIEW - Norma (1970)
21 REVIEW - Oddly Coupled (1970) (UNABLE TO FIND - PLEASE HELP)
22 REVIEW - Private Arrangement (1970) (UNABLE TO FIND - PLEASE HELP)
23 REVIEW - Raquel's Motel (1970)
24 REVIEW - Roxanna (1970)
25 REVIEW - Sandra: The Making of a Woman (1970)
26 REVIEW - Spread It Around (1970) **IMDB IS WRONG - NO USCHI IN THIS**
27 REVIEW - Take My Head (1970) (UNABLE TO FIND - PLEASE HELP)
28 REVIEW - Thaw the Frigid Bird (1970) (UNABLE TO FIND - PLEASE HELP)
29 REVIEW - The Art of Gentle Persuasion (1970) (UNABLE TO FIND - PLEASE HELP)
30 REVIEW - The Last Step Down (1970)
31 REVIEW - The Magic Mirror (1970)
32 REVIEW - The Midnight Graduate (1970) (UNABLE TO FIND - PLEASE HELP)
33 REVIEW - The Only House in Town (1970) (UNABLE TO FIND - PLEASE HELP)
34 REVIEW - The Pimp Primer (1970)
35 REVIEW - The Politicians (1970) (UNABLE TO FIND - PLEASE HELP)
36 REVIEW - Titilated Tex (1970) (UNABLE TO FIND - PLEASE HELP)
37 REVIEW - A Touch of Sweden (1971)
38 REVIEW - Below the Belt (1971)
39 REVIEW - Casting Call (1971)
40 REVIEW - Coed Dorm (1971)
41 REVIEW - Dead Eye Dick (1971)
42 REVIEW - Fancy Lady (1971)
43 REVIEW - Godchildren (1971)
44 REVIEW - Lesbian Love (1971)
45 REVIEW - Pinocchio (1971)
46 REVIEW - Private Eye's, Public Display (1971)
47 REVIEW - Sex Orgy (short) (1971)
48 REVIEW - Sex Pursuits (1971)
49 REVIEW - The Big Snatch (1971)
50 REVIEW - The Cult (1971)
51 REVIEW - The Egyptians Are Coming (1971)
52 REVIEW - The Exotic Dreams of Casanova (1971)
53 REVIEW - The Godson (1971)
54 REVIEW - The Seven Minutes (1971)
55 REVIEW - The Toy Box (1971)
56 REVIEW - The World Is Just a 'B' Movie (1971)
57 REVIEW - Up Your Alley (1971)
58 REVIEW - Uschi Digart: Girl Snatcher (short) (1971)
59 REVIEW - Wow, It's Cindy (1971)
60 REVIEW - 1972 Blood Sabbath (1972)
61 REVIEW - Breast Orgy (short)  (1972)
62 REVIEW - Breast Orgy 2 (short) (1972)
63 REVIEW - Fuzz (1972)
64 REVIEW - Hollywood Babylon (1972)
65 REVIEW - Hot Summer Week (1972)
66 REVIEW - Keep It Up (1972)
67 REVIEW - Love Thy Neighbor and His Wife (1972)
68 REVIEW - Prison Girls (1972)
69 REVIEW - Runaway Hormones (1972)
70 REVIEW - Street of a Thousand Pleasures (1972)
71 REVIEW - The Dirt Gang (1972)
72 REVIEW - The Goddaughter (1972)
73 REVIEW - The Pleasures of a Woman (1972)
74 REVIEW - Where Does It Hurt? (1972)
75 REVIEW - Wild Honey (1972)
76 REVIEW - Cries of Ecstasy, Blows of Death (1973)
77 REVIEW - Drop Out (1973)
78 REVIEW - Heads or Tails (1973)
79 REVIEW - Sex, Love and Happiness (1973)
80 REVIEW - Superchick (1973)
81 REVIEW - The Black Alley Cats (1973)
82 REVIEW - The Maids (1973)
83 REVIEW - The Roommates (1973)
84 REVIEW - Vice Squad Women (1973)
85 REVIEW - Panorama Blue (1974)
86 REVIEW - Poor Cecily (1974)
87 REVIEW - The Beauties and the Beast (1974)
88 REVIEW - The Dicktator (1974)
89 REVIEW - Truck Stop Women (1974)
90 REVIEW - Welcome Home, Johnny (1974)
91 REVIEW - A Climax of Blue Power (1975)
92 REVIEW - If You Don't Stop It... You'll Go Blind!!! (1975)
93 REVIEW - Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS (1975)
94 REVIEW - Inside Amy (1975)
95 REVIEW - Kitty Can't Help It (1975)
96 REVIEW - Last Days of Pompeii (1975)
97 REVIEW - Supervixens (1975)
98 REVIEW - The Big Three (short) (1975)
99 REVIEW - The Black Gestapo (1975)
100 REVIEW - The Killer Elite (1975)
101 REVIEW - C.B. Hustlers (1976)
102 REVIEW - Chesty Anderson U.S. Navy (1976)
103 REVIEW - Female Chauvinists (1976)
104 REVIEW - Ilsa, Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks (1976)
105 REVIEW - World of Sexual Fantasy (1976)
106 REVIEW - Can I Do It 'Till I Need Glasses? (1977)
107 REVIEW - Fantasm Comes Again (1977)
108 REVIEW - Female Fever (1977)
109 REVIEW - Hot Skin (1977)
110 REVIEW - The Kentucky Fried Movie (1977)
111 REVIEW - The Only Way to Spy (1978)
112 REVIEW - Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens (1979)
113 REVIEW - Candy's Big Black Master (short) (1979)
114 REVIEW - Executive Sweets (short) (1979)
115 REVIEW - Hot Stud Pick-Up (short) (1979)
116 REVIEW - Lesbian Encounter (short) (1979)
117 REVIEW - Triple Climax Orgy (short) (1979)
118 REVIEW - Disco Sex Party (short) (1980)
119 REVIEW - John Holmes and the All Star Sex Queens (1980)
120 REVIEW - Girl on Girl (1981)
121 REVIEW - Girls on Girls (1982)