Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Zeta One (1969)

Director: Michael Cort

Starring: James Robertson Justice, Charles Hawtrey, Robin Hawdon, Anna Gael, Brigitte Skay, Dawn Addams

More info: IMDb

Tagline: It's Sexcitement in Time and Space

Plot: A race of topless, large-breasted women from the planet Angvia, in another dimension, come to earth to kidnap women to repopulate their planet.

My rating: 3/10

Will I watch it again? Space NO.


The UK churned out some dreadful sex comedies in the 1970s but apparently they got started earlier than I thought. They’re not the only ones by any means. I think we here in the USA can give any country a run for its money when it comes to cranking out shitty movies. Anyway, ZETA ONE bored the piss out of me for the first twenty minutes with nothing but what was supposed to be witty, sexy dialogue between the male and female leads. They finally stop beating around the bush and beat the bush. Post coitus, James Word FINALLY tells the story he’s been alluding to for a quarter of an hour and that’s when it gets…well, uh, gee, less boring.

At least we get out of his flat. We spend a little time with Zeta on her planet or something and then there’s the Earthlings who are trying to do something or another (I just finished watching the damn thing and already the crux of the plot has escaped me). The ONLY thing that was interesting or remotely fun was this…

Nice, right? I thought so. This is during the exposition on how things work on the all-girl planet of Angvia. I liked that bit and not just because of the nudity. It looked cool and it was even less boring than what proceeded it which was pretty boring but not as boring as the opening. With me so far? Then there’s the only saving grace of the picture...

...the big showdown between the girls of Angvia and the evil humans that played kind of like something out of THE BENNY HILL SHOW except it wasn’t sped up with the Yaketty Sax tune. It would have been a hell of a lot more fun if it did. I’ve spent way too much time talking about this turkey. Moving on.

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