Sunday, July 31, 2011

Van Nuys Blvd. (1979)

Director: William Sachs

Starring: Bill Adler, Cynthia Wood, Dennis Bowen, Melissa Phrophet, David Hayward

More info: IMDb

Tagline: The Greatest Cruisin' in the Land Takes Place on the Street -- Where it all Began...

Plot: A small-town kid hears about the wild nights of cruising the boulevard in Van Nuys, California. He drives out there to check it out, and gets involved with drag racers, topless dancers and bikers.

My rating: 5.5/10

Will I watch it again? No.

#9 on 42nd Street Forever Vol. 2: The Deuce (part of the TRAILER TRASH PROJECT)

DRINKING GAME: Take a drink every time the singer of the title song yells, "Van Nuys", and you'll be hammered inside of 15 seconds.

Or when you get stupid, retarded shit like this...

VAN NUYS BLVD. is your typical, stupid comedy that was so prevalent in the 70s and 80s. No, fuck that, stupid comedies didn't stop there. Hollywood kept on going. The songs are lame, the humor is lame and broad...say, speaking of broad...there's a lot of great 70s nudity! That's really the only reason anyone would want to watch this.

This is how I'm getting my food delivered the next time I go to Sonic Burger.

VNB isn't a complete waste of time. If you like the jokes telegraphed minutes ahead of the punchline, guys who like to race vans and the women who like them, stupid cops, guys with 70s porn mustaches, girls with short shorts or bikinis, extended disco dance sequences, below average pop songs and naked women, then this might be for you.

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