Cemetery Man (1994)

Director: Michele Soavi

Starring: Rupert Everett & lots of Italians

More Info: IMDB

Tagline: Zombies, guns, and sex, OH MY!!!

Plot: A cemetery man must kill the dead a second time when they become zombies.





My Rating: 9/10


Would I watch it again? F’n YEAH!

WOW! WOW! WOW! Picture Sam Raimi’s EVIL DEAD for the art house crowd. Amp up the gore, sex, twisted humor, artistic lighting and camera angles and you’ve got CEMETERY MAN. I…laughed…my…ass…off! It’s fun, it’s sick, it’s gory, it’s engaging, it’s beautiful. I can’t wait to see it again.


This movie FLIES by so quickly you’d swear it’s only 45 minutes long. One thing that helps it along is that just when you “think” you’ve got the movie figured out to what it’s supposed to be it changes course to something completely unexpected. And then it happens again and again and again. There are more switchbacks in this film than on the inside of one of Rosie O’Donnell’s thighs. What? Too soon?


I kinda got the idea they approached Bruce Campbell for the lead and he turned it down and it went to Everett. Either that or Everett was much cheaper at the time since he was an unknown. Regardless, he pulled out a great under-played performance as the man whose job it is to kill the dead when they come back. His delivery is so straightforward, dry and unemotional. It’s perfect.
His love interest, played by Anna Falchi, did nothing for me. Nice body, which is why she’s there, but the face kinda gave me the weirds. Francois Hadji-Lazaro was great as Everett’s assistant, Gnaghi. His portrayal was very sympathetic and quite surprising especially in the end. That was a very nice tender moment of turnaround. You’ll have to see it to understand it. It was the last of the “where are we going now” moments.

"It's OK 'cause it's an art house film"

I urge you to seek this film out. It will not disappoint. It’s not everyday that you come across a cerebral gory comedy art house film like this. It’s fucked up. It belongs on the wall next to the Mona Lisa. Nat King Cole should’ve written a song about it. Maybe I should just watch it again instead.